I saw something on the net recently about sleeping positions and what they supposedly mean about your personality and what not. Now, I’m not the type to buy into things like that, but I had to have a bit of a sad, grudging laugh when I thought about it. My usual sleeping position was not listed. I tend to sleep on my back, legs together and hands folded neatly on my chest, like someone laid out for burial. I never really noticed before. Hah… I wonder what that says about me.
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A few minutes ago I read about a girl that was able to purchase a shotgun and use it the same day. If I didn’t have a record of an attempted suicide, I would have the patience to go through the process of all the paper work and time to be able to buy a shotgun.
I have a plan but now I am ironing out the details of who will find me. I really feel bad for whoever it would be. But i’ve decided it shouldn’t be my family. Â So it will have to be a hotel. Yet I am afraid of my suicide being […]
All of this stuff that they say I have to look forward to, this amazing life that they say I’ll have. But the way I feel will never change. It’s bullshit, I’ll always be fat and vile. No one will want me. I’ll never be happy and smiling at festivals surrounded by people who want the best for me. I’ll always be in my room depressed and waiting for it all to change – to end. Curtains closed, hidden under the covers. It’s never going to happen. So what is the point. For someone who craves death so much yes I’ll admit I am scared. […]
the only memories I have of my childhood are of my father, telling me how worthless I am, calling me horrible names when I was so young. I was 16 when I was finally allowed to make the choice to never see him again, up until then court orders had me there. I was mentally and even physically abused for what should have been my childhood. When someone tells you something so often for so long you really start to believe them “maybe I will never mean anything to anyone, not even my own father loves me” I tried so hard for so long to […]
Long story short: So there is this girl. We had crush on each other for very long time, then I had enough courage to tell her what I feel for her and she said she felt the same but she was afraid that I might be in love with someone else. Then we started dating and it lasted 6 months, and then se left me because she had mental problems and she was very confused and hurt inside, and I try to understand that. She even asked me back but I was too hurt and had lost my selfconfidence so we didn’t get back together, […]
they call teenagers/young adults pretty or handsome?
I went to work with my dad today as he got me an internship there, and many of his friends were commenting on how handsome I was. I felt flattered but as someone with body dysmorphic disorder, I couldn’t take any of them seriously. Is it something that you adults just say or do you actually mean it?
I’d like honest answers.. thanks.
isnt there someone you wish was here with you. well yea everyone does for me it an old friend of myne her name is kyrie. but she moved to america. havnt seen her since. but we still talk alote over skype. not the same as her being here. if you relate to this coment. if you wanttto share you story of someone u miss coment. and if you want to talk about it easy coment
Each day I slip further and further into the pits of hell. I am physically living but feel as if I walk around this universe as a ghost no one can see me no one can hear me just me and my thoughts. I was a victim of child abuse like many others. I started getting teased and picked on in 1 grade and every day and year after because I was always a little bigger. I was put down so much I never knew how to love myself. As I got older I looked and looked for that love never found it.
When I […]
im a 15 year old boy. yea before i continue i know im young for this kind of stuff. but to the point i hate my life. i always put asid my need to help someone else and get nothing for that. ive watched my best friends die right infront of my eyes. and i still blame myself of there deaths. i lost the love of my life. to my friend… and i just feel like.nobody cares. i hate my life. ive run away from home 8 times. longest ive been.gone is near a year. and ive ettempted suicid. many. many times. i just feel […]
All i ever wanted was love, or to be loved by everyone i came in contact with…..But you see….It’s harder for me….Because…Well….I’m ME…. I’m broken…. And no one wants a broken toy….I know i’m different from everyone else…But that doesn’t mean i have to be treated as such…I just want someone who will love me…for Me and not judge me for my wrongs…I’ve had many friends….But We’ve either drifted away, had a fight, or been back stabbed…I just want someone who won’t walk out when i show signs of mental pain and leave me like road kill…. Just a few days ago i attempted Suicide….but apparently the driver […]
It’s just m note that I was going to leave near… Just don’t expect much from it.
Why am I on this earth, if all I do is the same thing. Day after day all I do is repeat the last day, the only difference is that each day I get in a little more shit.
I feel like no one listens to me, and everyone is just there to bug me and stop me from being happy.
When I was doing various drugs, I was happy, and I could do my schoolwork without dying a little inside.
I should have been a girl, and not autistic.
Autism is […]
Somehow I always end up back here. When I tell people it makes things worse or things stay the same. Yet I’m here. Yet I’m here.
My mom hid her gun. I’m not very happy about that.
I need help. But I don’t know what to do. Am I waiting for someone to help me? Or is this my pathetic attempt at wanting to help myself? I don’t know. I don’t know.
but i guess it makes my problems less important
every few days i find the idea of a drug addict life more and more attractive
maybe the short lived thrill seems better than no thrill at all
i want to be in partial control. experience “happiness” and do it over again
then when i get tired of it, do my big finale
sounds stupid but thats what i want. i gave up on wanting the better things. odds are slim and get slimmer every day
i cant explain it. i dont want anything. i want to die
After almost a year on medication, I have slipped back into depression. I have gone back to everything I used to be and now I am plagued with the same deafening negative thoughts that haunt my every waking minute. I want someone to talk to, someone anonymous that will let me talk about my issues without ignoring me or even becoming too concerned, or frightened…
If there is anyone on here that wants this from someone as well (and preferably lives in Australia so we can text) I will happily be that person for you, if you are willing to be that person for me.
Reply to […]
Memoirs of Suicide
June 19th 2013. That was the day I tried to kill myself. Yeah. Not what you’d expect from a nice girl, right? It’s hard understanding what drives someone to want to kill themselves unless you’ve been there, but I’ll try to explain it as best I can.
It’s like you’re a speed above or below everyone else, you can see them but they’re moving too slow or too fast for you to catch up. I was with people but I was always alone. It’s like I was in a bed in a really deep ditch and I had to try and crawl out of […]
I can’t think straight. This won’t be long. I’m abused, and while typing my hands are shaking. I don’t know where my life will go. My parents will arrive from their works later and my mini hell will begin. I need someone but I always find none. I don’t know where to go. They’re slowly killing me. Help. Help. Fuck. Damn. Darn. Help.
I just wish I could take someone’s cancer or something.
Imagine knowing when to die, having all your loved ones around you counting the last breaths together.. But more than anything, you just saved someone who wants to live, someoe who can enjoy life more then you do… Having a good purpose for death is probably the best thing I could ever hoped for right now.
Abusing Parents, No friends, No girlfriend, No support from anyone :'(
by abhishek
written by abhishek
My name is Abhishek, I’m 23 years old. My parents are abusing me everyday and everytime. No matter how much I try to avoid them, they just find a way to put me down. They want me to die. I haven’t done anything wrong, I’m just a guy who helps others and this is what I got for my goodness. I had a girlfriend but I have to leave her because of my parents. I’m lonely and I have nobody to share my pain. I want to cry but I stop myself thinking that I must become stronger in order to survive. But now I […]
It just won’t. A devoted partner, a caring parent, a sympathetic friend or hell even the purest love of all, the love of a dog, won’t save you.
Suicide, or at least the suicide I know, is like drowning in the ocean. Love is like someone on the shore praying for you. It may give you a moment’s satisfaction to know that someone is worrying about you, but in the end the only thing that can save you is if something physically drags you out of the ocean.
Love doesn’t do that. Love can soothe you, distract you, make you feel like you have a purpose, maybe […]
have you guys a realized you have a fear of something or someone because of what they did to you….
well i do i have a fear of getting close to people because im scared they will leave me! it alway comes true and it scares me to death because…..im getting close to alot of people but the as soon as it starts to happen i stop myself because of my ex-gf and ex-bf i got close to them aND THEY BOTH LEFT ME AFTER WE BROKE UP AND BECAME FRIENDS THEY LEFT ME!IM DONE WITH REALTIONSHIPS FOR AWHILE!