It is said that one of the signs of depression is lack of interest in outside activities. But what if this world has such inane values that those activities simply hold no interest for us? Sports, for instance. Making lots of money. Marrying well. etc. An introspective person has little use for the frills and spills of a stupid world. We might enjoy yoga or sunsets or the ocean, something real, like a kitten or a puppy. But we don’t care who wins the blasted basketball game!
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Sports
My Father Was Ex-Commander In Chief In The Army.That Mustve Messed Him Up Becoz That Man Was Anything But Normal!I Couldnt Call Him”daddy”Or”my father”Becoz He Wudnt Allow It.Made Me Call Him”sir”Or”Mr(Last Name)”.He Treated Me Like I Was One Of His Army Groups Or Whatever.This One Time,My Mom Was Working Night Shift So It Was His Turn To Come Fetch Me From School.He Came Hours Later!He Found Me Crying Cold,Hungry And Alone,Said Some Shit Like I shouldve Walked If I Wanted To Get Home Earlier(I WAS 8YEARS OLD!!).My Dad Wasnt The Emotional”come give me a hug”Type.He Was A STONE,Or Anything Harder Than That..Tar..He Was Tar..Concrete!He Would […]
There’s not a moment where I think about killing myself/committing suicide. I’ve already tried twice, but I couldn’t do it. I tried to drown myself in the tub. The water was just about up to where my head was at. I put my face/wash towel over my face so I couldn’t breath at all. Then I laid back in the water. I started thinking what if I really did just kill myself right here and now? Would anyone care? I’d finally be free of pain and torment. I doubt I’m going to heaven, if it’s even real. I’m an atheist. Just as I […]
I am a 27 year old man. I am writing this because I don’t know what else to do. I am sorry if this is extremely long but I feel as though I just have to get this out of me. I will understand if no one were to read this.
I often feel hopeless about everything in my life. As a child I grew up in a small town North of a major city. I had friends, played lots of sports but often felt like an outcast for no reason in particular. I would often become very angry if anyone rubbed me the wrong way. […]
Why?
Why can’t I face my problems?
Why must I always hide?
Why must I always lose trac of my effort? dammit why?
No matter what it is, no matter what I do, no matter what I was thinking barely seconds before, why must I always deviate from what I’m doing???
Whether studies, sports or whatever the hell I actually do nowadays, I just don’t seem to care, I just let myself surf the flow of the waves of thought instead of maintaining my course.
And, when I realise it, its always too late, relationships always destroyed, failing grades, competitions lost.
Every-fucking-one of my teachers or guardians or bosses are angry at […]
My name is Benjamin and i’m 13 years old and a half. I’m an atheist and i live in Montreal. My first language is french and my second is english. I have a disease called hemophilia since i was born. Its a disease that makes your body more vulnerable to injuries. That means that when i’m hurt, it will hurt more longer and it will take more time to recover. I’ve been hurt to my ankle a lot so now i’m in a wheel chair and i can’t walk for a long time. I am a sportive guy and i love sports especially hockey and […]
Thank you for reading my text because I feel totally alone right now. I grew with a rageful alcoholic mother who turned all her self-degregation on me. I always felt like a doll not a person and she was so very very scary–could slice with her words in a way that made you feel like nothing at all. But, I was well-liked at school and in sports– I tried so hard to be good. When I was a teenager, my father wrote me a letter telling me that I wasn’t worthy of being their daughter anymore. I had tried so […]
Another long one.
Seems like a good time to continue on with my confession. I ended the last post after I was caught. I injured myself for four years before my mom saw….. but then again you see what you want to see. My sister an I were always held to a higher standard than most kids. If we got a B on anything we were grounded. A’s were all my mom cared about. Nothing else. She got on to us for every little thing, making it a contest between the two of us. That is the main reason my sister and I started fighting. After […]
I’m such a hypocrite.
I talk big about staying positive and happy, yet I can’t find my own reasons for this. I’m literally so stressed out right now that I feel like I should just end my own life to end all this pain and torture.
Anything I ever do isn’t good enough. Whether it’s getting good grades, getting accepted to a good university, or to winning a sports tournament, nothing is good enough for my parents.
I’m a lazy person. That’s just who I am. A 17 year old girl that’s at the end of her senior year, who’s lazy and likes to lay in bed or […]
False praise kills. Â I am told often that I am talented blah, blah blah. Â I can’t believe this. Â To do so would be arrogant. Â My inner circle does tell the truth. Â Significant other does not touch me because I am too fat for his liking. Â I was a size 00 when we met. Â I now wear a 2. Â He says he can only love me if I am thin and blonde. Â He says I am stupid. Â I’m in a doctoral program because at one time I wanted to prove to him that I was not as stupid as he says I am. Â Â There are […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. Everything that could possibly go wrong in my life has to this point. In high school I never had a problem with friends or anything else. I was pretty popular and good at sports. It has done nothing but go down hill since then. I got arrested for a DUI last fall. That was extremely embarrassing and living in a town with 300 people in it only made it worse. I feel like I brought shame to my family. After that I dropped out of school because I kept failing classes. Now I have no money and no […]
My name is drew, i am 20 years old, and currently residing in a “suck you under” little town in texas. I grew up a happy child, played sports and had lots of friends. But were did it all go wrong? why do i have no friends? no family? no life? why is waking up a day to day challenge? i guess you could say im to chicken shit to kill myself. but the thought has passed my mind alot more than it should. i wish i could just leave this world behind….and no one would remember me. i see my life and friends […]
Hey, my name is Jack.
today has been a pretty shit day, just like every other day I guess. In year 7 is when it all started, my dad stopped being my dad.
Dad was working in the Air Force and previously worked in the navy for years, so he is a respectable man. Although while i was in year 7, he got discharged from the air force for injuring his knee and neck. Now I’m 18, I finished school last year, I hated school. I hated the teacher, I hated the education, i hated the school in general. Everyone is so stupid, i honestly felt like one of the smartest people in the […]
Im 18, in November of 2012 I was in a bad car accident. I had a head on collision with a tree, as a result i mangled my leg and have and face several surgeries and a year and half of recovery. This isnt the first time ive felt like ending it all im a ex drug and alcohol abuser. After my accident I thought id have people there for me, but the people I call friends have forgotten bout me. Mostly because I cant and don’t want to party anymore, sometimes I wish I had just died that night. Recently ive also found out the sports I love That I can no longer play. I just feel lost im dabbling in drugs and alcohol again just […]
Oh . my. fucking. god.
Long story short, I had a father who abused my mother, i would protect her causing me to get beat instead of her which was totally fine with me, as long as she wasnt hurt. one day he went too far, and she FINALLY -thank god- divorced the beast. that was around 3 years ago, and we haven’t kept in contact, (me and my father) . But my birthday, was around a month ago, and he sent presents for the very first time, whoopee. a fucking month late. cheers dad. not only that, but he sent me clothes, all in […]
You disappear…
What have I done to deserve this?
I’ve always been the good child. The one who would eat all their veggies, do their homework, listen to their parents, do well in school and sports and yet I’m always the one at fault. Reading some of these posts, I really have no right to complain about my life because others have it worse than I do. I grew up with both parents, I’m healthy, and we don’t have to worry about money. What more could I ask? All I’ve wanted, was to have someone to love me or care for me. Unfortunately, some things in the […]
i m 22 years old and i m the biggest loser in the world. I have failed in each and every field of life, studies, sports, socialising, relationships, etc. i love a girl very much. but she has no feelings for me and she keeps on saying, “i dont love u, but i want u just as a friend”. these words tears my heart apart. i even stopped contacting her. but she contacts me once in a week and repeats the same lines. i just cant take it any more. but i cant even b rude to her.
i suck in sports. whenever i play i […]
i guess I’ve had a good life, my family isn’t rich, but i feel alone. all my pets never lasted, most of my friends i never saw more than once. My parents, and one of my sisters, yell at me constantly, and i just feel like nobody cares. im bad at school, and at sports, and the only thing im even sort of good at is video games. i guess i just want a friend.
It’s hard to admit there is something wrong. It’s hard trying to put all my emotions into words. It’s frustrating that I don’t truly understand what’s wrong with me, therefore it is difficult for others to understand. I lost the respect for my mother when I was in seventh grade. Freshman year my father hit me and choked me and my mother just watched. I stopped talking to my family completely because I knew they didn’t wanna hear what I wanted to say. I am a junior in high school now and I had to switch schools this past year. Have you ever felt surrounded […]
Erggghhh! Why the fuck am i still here?! I’m sorry but i need to get this out, and it won’t be the same if I dont swear.
Im going to admit this now, I’ve told No one this ever. But fuck it, let’s tell a bunch of strangers! I’ve been screwed up since birth. I was born witha type of arthritis in my joints, so walking, crawling, sports, all of it was painful. Eventually people noticed I wasnt like everyone else. I’ve been bullied ever since I entered those school gates. But i was too nice, and no innocent […]
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