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This morning I sent out all my thanksgiving text to my family and close loved ones. Tellin them that I love them and the reason why I’m thankful for them. At least they’ll know how I feel when I off myself. I’ve been on this site since 2012 and nothing hasn’t gotten better. It only got worse.
I guess this is why rape victims never come forward about anything. I’ve only told 5 of my closest friends and out of the five, two have told me it was my fault and one doesn’t believe me after I told him the whole story from start to finish. […]
Let me start out with a list of things that’s wrong with me
I’m fat I’m stupid (failing 3 classes in school) I mess up people’s day get called names by my parents and I mess up things in general.
I’ve been diagnosed with depression
I want to die and I deserve to anyway
I’m a burden to my 3 friends and family because of these reasons and others.
When someone’s having a good time or having fun ill say something and then ruin there time
I swear my parents hate me they’ve call me lazy ignorant a whiny little ***** they’ve told me to screw of cause I was trying […]
I took a nap and had a scary dream. I was in New York City and it was 9/11 , 2001 and I was standing at the bottom and just started running away because I saw the trade center start to come down and I just saw everyone scream and running with me and sirens every where .Holy shit it was so scary. I’m feeling wierd right now because it really makes me angry that like thousands of people died . All these terrorist attacks even today are like out of control. Isis in Paris … Apparently they are in my state Virginia targeting at […]
today is hopefully my last day in this world, i have money now so i can start to prepare everything and do it tonight after work. You are all great
Idk how to start.Weel first time wrighting somth here.
In a little while from now
If I’m not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top
Will throw myself off
In an effort to
Make it clear to whoever
Wants to know what it’s like
When you’re shattered
Left standing in the lurch at a church
Were people saying, My God, that’s tough
She stood him up
No point in us remaining
We may as well go home
As I did on my own
Alone again, naturally
To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to who wouldn’t do
When I was a little kid I didn’t understand why people would be so sad and depressed, I didn’t understand any of this. I thought they just needed to tough up.
Now I am a 15 year old and all I want to do is disappear. I want to just leave and sethre all the relationships I have. I don’t want to die but I would die to disappear.
Last year when I was 14 I started getting severely depressed, but then I didn’t know what depression was. I just wanted to start running away and never turn back, I wanted to disappear so badly I would […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
So I had that dream again. You know – that dream of the last time you felt truly happy. You relive that past experience time and time again in your dreams. And you have this dream, and it’s so amazing, wonderful and happy. And then you start to wake up. And the happiness starts slipping away as you wake more and more. And the depression takes a stronger hold and screams, “Ha-Ha! FUCK YOU! That wasn’t real! IT’S ALL GONE!” So you want to sleep, but can’t because “that dream” might happen again. So sweet, and yet so devastating.
Yup. Been there my friend.
My husband of four year hates me..
He has lost all of his patient.. He’s very short and snappy with his words..
Little things about me that used to not bother him make him go off
We can never have non-casual conversations anymore..
He raises his voice more often than ever..
His kiss on a cheek or him saying love you is just a daily routine but not out of his heart..
Now he only cuddles, hugs, puts his arm around me, kisses, or is sweet when he wants sex…
I feel like being stuck at a bottom of a pool but don’t know how to swim…
I know our marriage is ending, […]
i’ve been feeling worthless. been going through a break down every night for the past week. been googling a “peaceful way” to leave this planet with no avail. been eating bags and bags of candy because im a fat p.o.s. and i cant throw up anymore because my gag reflex is shot. wheres my self control?
i dont know all i can say is that i really am close to killing myself. im really waiting it out because I am transgendered and i have my first appt to hopefully start my hormonal therapy. im HOPING i will feel less depressed, less suicidal now that im going […]
You could have it all, my empire of dirt,
I will let you down, I will make you hurt,
If I could start again, a million miles away,
I would keep myself, I would find a way.
The only way to love me is to never, ever know me.
If I only knew what to say, someone would actually listen.
If I only cared enough to try, someone would be here with me.
If I only fought harder, maybe I wouldn’t be this.
But everyone gives up eventually, and I guess I gave up a long time ago.
It’s too late for me now.
It’s time to become someone else.
And when I’ve […]
Good morning my little and desert world…Here I am, one day more of life going by. We never should count the hours, the days, the weeks, the years. We should count the blessing of every dawn, I know that. However, when our days run in the way we do not want, we prefer to forget even that we are here, in time and space. We start looking life with different lenses. Reflections become our every day breakfast. Some people come, some other go, and some others stay with us until eternity. Mom and Dad always taught me to be patience, positive, to treat others with […]
After reading several posts and bawling my eyes out and then registering for the sight i feel to tired to write the feelings i wanted to share in the first place. Im just so tired all the time and tired of being tired. I really want to start taking my meds but the streets are so busy on the way to the pharmacy. I get anxious just thinking about the trip. Why do i feel so much hate from people and why cant i go anywhere and know im safe and my belongings will be unmolested when i return. Instead i hide knowing i will […]
This is my first actual post on this site so i don’t wanna make it super long. I don’t even know where to start to be honest. Okay, day after day i realize how much i’m not. i barely even go outside anymore sorry i mean i never go outside anymore only when i need too i guess because i feel like there’s no reason for me to even be out there only when i feel like walking my dogs, i usually go out btw i’m 18 i know i shoudn’t feel like this.
I have really bad social anxiety and a bunch of other stuff. […]
Inspired by the post I just read & responded to… Any other November born people here? I’ve always seemed to get along best with people born within a month of my own birthday – 11/30. Libra thru Sagittarius seem to be my peeps.
Anyway, try to make brief update. Mind is mush. 2 days without sleep….
this was briefly discussed in my last post but i figured id start a new post about it so it can reach as many ppl as possible like the title says i want to try and set up a regular movie night for SPers there a website called rabbit that allows shared streaming from any website and up to 15 ppl to chat while watching whatever if anyone has any ideas on how to make this happen my skype is hiitsme0819 i really hope we can make this happen the website has one main flaw where ppl cant get into the room unless the person […]
When you keep opening up and giving someone your all, then they turn around and fuck you over every time, it slowly starts to take a toll on you. You start losing pieces of yourself, and friends start to leave you. You slowly start to hate yourself because of what you’ve turned into and you eventually get pushed to the edge and slowly start falling off into a downward spiral of tears and other horrible things. You know they are the only one that can help you because they are the only one you want, but every time you just get hurt worse […]
I have matured in many ways and lived a good life but it seems im back in that useless hole again… no one can get me out only myself and i need to start searching for my motivation its a jourmey that will be painful but it has to be done or else i will keep feeling like this; this sorrow this uselessness and without hope. I starting a journey again and i want to be able to break out of this again.