Everyday seems to blur by in a nonsensical motion that keeps me forever sick and tired. With each passing, I come to the realization that this life isn’t good enough. Living is just not good enough. It’s been that way for years now.
I can’t grasp as to why no one around me feels this way.
I see all these drunken smiles float by, while I still let myself believe my feet are firmly on the ground. I know they’re not. I feel myself falling more and more. I think of killing myself everyday now. My razor is always close by. I just want to […]
I don’t want to live another day like this. And after that there will be another one, and so on. I can’t stand it.
I constantly think about overdose, but apparently is nearly impossible.
Why doesn’t my heart just stop.
I just can’t stop this feeling of terror inside of me… I can’t stop crying… The pain won’t stop… I will never had the life I dreamed of, I’ve fallen too far… Now I can’t get out of this spiral down…
I tried to kill myself so many times but it doesn’t work with overdoses… The maximum I got was a coma once… I can’t seem to cut myself… Just cut for pain relief… It hurts all the time now…
The sad thing is no one can help me, not even me, it’s just a slow and painful death… But I never get to die… […]
When I fall asleep tonight
Will the voices stop
Will an angel come to comfort me
Or a demon come to mock
Make a joke of suffering
And laugh in my face
Let the darkness smother me
While the echoes fill the space
“They hate you”
“They crave you”
These voices never change
They argue with themselves
They magnify my pain
“They’re watching. Not leaving”
Paranoia is setting in
“Even when you’re dreaming
They know your every sin”
But the username misssk88 was one of my best friends. I never got to tell her but I really did care about her… Fuck it, I loved her. I never got to tell her, might as well write it here. Anyway, she left most of her stuff to me in her actual suicide letter, which I may post here, but I still just feel really fucking weird about everything. I saw she frequented this site and for a second I got a sick feeling like maybe people on this site told her to do what she ended up doing… like some sort of weird site […]
I’m pretty sure I listen to it at least 5 times a day. A while ago I could say whatever I wanted to say, now I can’t find the words for anything. This song though, the lyrics describe my current state better than I can. And now I’m going to stop typing before this turns into a rant.
Last night I lost control over my feelings. Couldn’t stop crying. My family went out so I stayed home alone. I turned off all my bedroom lights and went and sat in my closest. Started crying; weeping. I was thinking about cutting again. I was saying to myself “You promised. Don’t break the promises you made.”
Although I promised, I turned on the closet light and looked for the blades (2). As I was holding them in my hands I kept thinking of my friends and the promises I made.
After a while holding them, it was hard but I put them back and got up. […]
I’ve done drugs since about the 7th grade, so about 4 years. I first started off with smoking weed, just like everyone else my age, but last year I started doing pills; anything I could really get my hands on: Seroquel, Tramadol, Xanax, Hydrocodone, etc.
I’m an 11th grader now and a teacher or Administrator at my school knows I do drugs and cut myself to cope with all the stuff in my life. She’s obviously been keeping it a secret; I think we would both get in trouble if someone found out she knew. Anyways, she’s been trying to get me to see a drug […]
Well I tried cutting for the first time today……
I thought that maybe since it helps a lot of people with their problems one way or another it might help me.
Well, it didn’t.
I was so freaked out.
At first it looked like the blade didn’t do anything but then my skin started opening and you could see this white layer right under my skin and blood wouldn’t stop coming out.
I know, it’s kinda gross.
I’m sorry if I just made you feel sick but I had to tell someone.
I hate living here. When my aunt’s family comes over to stay for a few days I swear she becomes so fake. She only talks to me when she wants me to do something or when I say something they stop to listen and then carry on with their conversations like I don’t even exist. I fucking hate that. She is so fucking fake when people come over. I can’t deal. It makes me feel like shit. Well, it’s not like she cares. Either way no one does. What’s the point of giving a crap about people when they don’t give a shit about you. […]
I like to consider myself recovered. However sometimes I still have the thought of suicide enter my brain. It catches me off guard. Sometimes I want to act on it. I don’t exactly want to die. I have a lot I will be leaving behind. I am so tempted to cut though. I crave it actually. I can’t because I’ll get caught by my boyfriend. He will see the cuts and I can’t stop him from seeing them. I want to cut and I hate that I do. I don’t want to get locked up again. Sometime I wonder if I do this all for […]
For the first time in a long time, my anxiety is back. I really don’t know what to do. I can’t stop crying. I’ve felt like I can’t breathe for the past two days. I don’t want to deal with this anymore.
Can I post a picture of an old si? Solely for the purpose of hoping it might stop someone else?
I’ve been through it. The teasing, the yelling, the isolation, the masks, the chronic depression, the eating disorder, the self harm,the diagnosis, the therapy, the suicide attempts. I’ve been through it all and I made it to a point where I was happy with myself, with my surroundings. But there are always the bad days that confuse me. Where I can’t figure out if it’s just a bad day or if its a relapse. Recently I’ve been hounded with stress from school, from family, from friends, from myself. I feel so overwhelmed and I feel myself breaking all over again. I want the stress to […]
When you express your will to die, all we get in response is the common “Dont do that you have so much to live for ” :It will get better” “There are people who love you” but I gunna say this plainly. It’s our choice, dont try to stop us….it’s our free will. “When things come falling down, we’ll do what we want to” -sws
Maybe I should just stop trying. Maybe I should just stop living.
I’m tired, and I’m not important to anyone. Maybe it’s time to go.
Silence is my insanity,
Mother, Mother, stop beating me.
Silence is my laughter,
Father, Father, don’t slaughter her.
We all make mistakes, We all make mistakes,
Stop all this madness and remove all the breaks.
Silence is my sanity,
So why won’t it help me?
today i’m writing out the pros and cons of my chosen method. cons outweigh the pros by far, but i’m not sure that’s going to be enough to stop me.
Hi I’m a 25 years old living in England I’ve been Self-harming for the past 11 years and would love to stop I’ve tired everything to stop even getting a tat on my arm to but that did not even work I was wondering what have people done to stop self-harming thanks
“I love you more” ….these words are haunting me now. I used to say them to you, when we were in love and together. Now, you’ve said you’re done, that nothing can save our love, our lil family. So it’s true. I do love you more. I love you so much I can’t stand not being without you, talking to you, can’t stand you not in my life. One day that you’ll be with another man, in love with him, in his arms, making love to him, calling him baby. I can’t take that pain, and you won’t save me. Told you I’d kill myself […]