feeling like shit today. stayed homd alone all day and watched porn three times… feeling so disguisted with myself. All i want is to stop being so damn lonely… not even about just sex (although that would be nice) but just someone who loves me. blech 🙁
I have epilepsy, and have had feelings of cognitive fuzziness and generally psychological and psychosomatic discomfort for some time now.
I am now going to try to mitigate, if not eliminate, these effects brought about by both my condition and the medication I use to treat said condition with marijuana.
I’m hoping the effects yielded by the THC will put a stop to the discomfort, and I hope that just maybe it will improve my cognitive clarity.
Do I have case studies or any scientific research to support my experiment? No.
That’s what makes it fun I suppose, among other things.
Wish me luck, I’m off to conduct phase 1.
Hey…I don’t think I ever mentioned this on this website,so here we go: I have a band.I am a musician.Yep,yep,I know that I am a schizoid idiot with anger management issues,but hey,that doesn’t stop me from singing,right?
Anyway,we’re approaching the completion of our last song and the release of our first album.Working on this album was the only thing keeping me motivated to hold on a little longer for the last 3 months.So yeah,after the album is released,I think I’ll just hang myself.
I only posted this so I could say goodbye to anyone…You see,I got no one.No (caring) family,no friends…no one…So I thought I might say […]
I hate my life. I’m so depressed.. It all started about a year ago. There was this guy I had liked for a while and we finally started talking. The first few weeks, everything was great. We texted just about everyday. Exchanged the finest words. Things were perfect. Then suddenly one day it’s like he just forgot about me. He started tweeting about this other girl and it made me feel invisible. Once him and her stopped talking, we started again. Then another girl came into the picture. I hated seeing them flirt at school. Anyways, he’d flip flop back and forth between her and […]
I’ll stop trying to get close to anyone. I’ll stop trying to fit in. I’ll stop trying to find someone to stay by my side.
I can’t forget you. I keep hearing you whispering in my ears. Whenever I close my eyes, I still see you. I can’t accept anyone because I still remember you. What is the point of me trying to find someone else to stay with me, when I myself keep rejecting them? Why would I hope to find someone, if I know in the end I will leave them because they are not you? Why the hell would I pretend […]
Tic tok
the time has come
with 1 swipe
i am done
my days are numbered
i cant keep running
i got to stop
no reason to live
while i am in pain
i cant contain
what i have unleashed
but at least i gave
a good fight
-brian
Lately, I’ve felt no emotion. My mind had put a serious lockdown on any type of feeling or emotion that I had. I did what was necessary to get through the day. Well..that is until today. Today, one of my “friends” pissed me off beyond belief. Now, I can feel every emotion that has been bottled up for weeks. I am in a downward spiral and I can’t stop.
Here I am new here to this web site. Here I will share a bit about me,ok? English is not my first language,so I am sorry if my writhing are bad.
I am in my early 50s. Now,I Will not bore you whit my whole life. I have had many many girlfreends. The problem,I cheat.I want to stop. Becose,, it is hurting them., Many have left me. I am to afraid to tell my current girlfreend that i am cheating on her.
I am sorry,many women i have been with., I have kids that we did not want. Now they know,everyone in my family knows. I Have […]
Hi,
My name’s D.J. I suppose you could say I’m depressed, I mean not a day goes by that I don’t think about killing myself. In fact the only reason I haven’t is because I can’t be 100% sure that I will die.
Imagine hating life and yourself so much that you want to kill yourself. Then when you finally try- thinking that you can finally be happy about something- you wake back up. And have to live with the consequences of failing to kill yourself. That’s one of my biggest fears.
Everyday I can find several consequences of killing myself […]
Why do I bother. If insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results…….then I need to stop trying and give up hope. I continually reach out and make efforts to improve my circumstances with the same fruitless results. I am so sick trying to find my place in this world and always getting shot down. If I don’t try and nothing happens who cares, it’s not like I risked anything. I need to accept my fate, my role here or lack thereof and just ride it out gracefully until there is a better way out.
There comes a point where you just stop reaching out. Stop asking for help, for encouragement, for company, for conversation, for love….for anything.
there comes a point when you just stop.
depression is silent, it creeps up to you at first, and then all at once. Sometimes it causes anxiety, a mental disorder. I think it’s funny how most people say I don’t do anything for them, when in reality, I do much more. I fake smiles and wipe my tears to avoid them getting stressed, I don’t talk to them so they don’t have to put up with me, and most importantly I pretend I don’t have a mental illness called depression.
As the lines from one of my favorite songs;
“So what if you can see, the darkest part of me? Nothing can stop […]
all i can think on my commute is, if i just step off the platform if i just jump in front of the train, my pain will go away. I’m too much of a coward to do that. i can’t stop tearing up at work, then i was out with my parents and started crying in front of everyone, they just thought i was sad to see my family friends move, sure i am extremely sad about that, but my sadness for myself is much worse. I’m completely miserable to the point i can’t take it anymore. i just want to scream and beg everyone […]
I can’t exist like this much longer. I just needed to share this with someone who can’t stop me, just understand.
My struggle with depression/anxiety as well as coming from an abusive/chaotic home with a parent who had, at the time, undiagnosed bi-polar have taught me to be strong and rely on myself. It also taught me, after years of therapy and self analysis, that people’s words can’t have power over you unless you allow them to.
I’ve always been very empathetic to others. My parents said as a toddler I would cry if a character got hurt or died in a Disney movie. I used to think this […]
I’ve been doing so well lately. so well. and i have literally no clue why but now i can’t stop crying and i realize how truly alone i am. i cant talk to my parents and my friends arent really friends at all considering they never invite me with them and dont care about me in the slightest. IM COMPLETELY ALONE AND UNWANTED AND UNLOVED AND I DONT HAVE ANYONE TO TALK TO AND NOBODY CARES.
nobody. cares. at all.
So this girl and I went out and we both have a hard life alcohol, I smoke weed, I have abusive parents always bullied we broke up but remained friends we both cut she saved my life because when I met her I was planning suicide we both started cutting again after the break up and we promised each other we wouldn’t cut again and I told her if she cuts then I will to. Two weeks ago she broke the promise she cut and so later that day I to did to all in this day she told me she loves me she told […]
So words are kind of failing me right now, i’m not really sure what i’m intending to type in this post but i guess we will see where it goes.
I’m just struggling to keep caring, to keep on going and to give a shit about what i do with myself any more. I’m stuck in this fucking void of self hate and i only hate myself more for being stuck there because i have absolutely no right to feel this way. I just don’t know what i’m supposed to be doing anymore, i’m just such a fuck up and i get everything wrong. I’m […]
The worst feeling for me is when my mum sees my cuts and scars and just gives me the most disgusted look and says “just stop that.. its wrong”.
Thanks mum i feel the love
I dream of a world where people can just try to understand each other, rather than judge them for their problems. A world where no one is criticized for who they are and what they love. Unfortunately, a world of peace doesn’t exist.
I dream that I am on my own planet, where there is no misery, violence, hatred or discrimination, with only my closest friends, family members, animals and people who get me. Like I said… I dream. If only dreams could come true for those of us […]