I didnt wake up feeling so down about the fact theres another day ahead of me, in fact the first thing I did when I woke up was think of you lot and see what new things you’ve posted! I know im only new and haven’t interacted with many of you but I want to let you all know the impact you’ve all had on me, to see we’re not alone and how kind hearted we all are to go out of our way to support one another. No one makes us listen or read what we have to say, we do it because we’re […]
I’m a compulsive liar. I lie about silly things like what food I had for lunch or telling stories with friends. I also lie about real things like whether or not I cut or that I lost my job or that I’m not an alcoholic.
Here is the truth:
I am a failure. I dropped out of school because I have no drive and hated who I was at school, but blamed it on my depression. I lost my job because I didn’t want to show up, so I didnt, I then lied about why I lost my job. I was supposed […]
I killed a spider today, which makes me arachni-cidal.
If I don’t hurry up and get an oil change for my car pretty soon, I will also be automoti-cidal.
Ever have the vague feeling that someone has been fooling you and lying to you about something and manipulating you all this time, and you’re only now starting to realize the magnitude of it all? Yeah. Me too.
My double vision is getting worse, and when I drove home from symphony rehearsal Tuesday night, I could see two of every sign, and two white lines at the side of the road. At my last medical appointment, I explained this, […]
… Well not really; it’s only a 2 hour drive, but still. My roommate and his girlfriend picked me up to head back to school after a weekend at home by myself with no ride. Now we’re 3/4 and we smoked a little bit, and we’ve been telling funny stories and laughing the whole way there. A minute ago 1979 by Smashing Pumpkins came on my iPhone. Now it’s Holiday by Weezer. Things are about to get terrible for me, but right now, in this moment, life is pretty damn good.
I’ve been reading this site for a few weeks but this is my first post. In a lot of ways, I wish I could go back to when I was little, when I spent most of my time alone in my room reading or solving number puzzles or making up stories. Before there was any pressure to socialize or compromise endlessly or impress others in general.
I spent most of my childhood blocking out my emotions. Criticism and rejection have always been very, very painful. It often feels like I’m walking around in a shooting video game except everyone else has armor or shields and I don’t. […]
Let’s make this a monthly thing, anyone can start it.
Once a month, near the end of the month, let’s have “Tea time”.
Tea time is grabbing a cup of tea, coffee, water, soda, alcohol, simpily something to drink. (If you have nothing, that’s ok you don’t have to).
The rules will apply:
1) No hate.
2) No methods.
3) No partners (the same basic rules of SP).
4) No random blurts (you can have fun but be considerate).
5) No judgements.
6) Let each other express themselves freely.
7) Relax and share something about yourself.
This is a chance to talk in a group or one on one with someone. Discussions will follow with;
Suicide (doesn’t […]
This is my first time being on this site. A friend of mine that I just met, told me about it. He gave me his stories and I gave him mine. We are both happy that we met each other to remind ourselves that all of us still have a reason to live.
I have been a big fan of music. It has been my inspiration and helped me throughout my life. For my future, I would like to save people’s lives through making music for anyone that feels the same way as everyone.
I am glad to say I will […]
That everything we have been told is a lie? Like a lot of people on here I often thought about suicide, but I thought I might at least do a lot of research on death before I really do it. I found out we might not be as free as we thought when we die. Even in death we might be trapped into keep coming back to earth to more pain and suffering. Take a look at this site http://humansarefree.com/2015/03/escape-their-trap-and-set-your-soul-free.html I have read about near death stories and they almost all involve […]
I just joined, and I was looking up something completely different, I just thought this was something else too… I looked at a few stories and such and it got me thinking that maybe I should reach out to people that actually understand my situations and stuff…. I figured this would be a good and safe place for me to meet friends, and help others too… I’m one of those people that would rather be alone, but I will help others in a heart beat, I know it’s kind of strange, but I do hope that I can help others, and I will try my […]
Here’s a pretty thorough list of why I suck, and you should hate me. In no particular order….
I obsessively worship artist. Music, pictures, poetry, books, movies, sculpture. Art period. I love it. I want to be an artist. But I suck. I prey on you here, I know you’ll lie to me. I want to believe that lie. But I’m terrible. I’ve spent THOUSANDS!, ON music equipment. To compensate. So I look cool as I finger fuck my way through Teen Spirit. My poetry? Makes me sound like a spoiled ***** angry he got the charcoal Mercedes instead of quartz grey for his birthday. My […]
The way my life has turned out makes everyday a battle for me. It’s not one of those stories where I have a recognized disability and with effort I am overcoming it while people are proud. Technically I should be a fully functional human being.
I suffer from the most basic aspects of life. I can’t make simple decisions or do simple things. A trip to the grocery store is even something hard, which I avoid and end up screwing it up.
One could wonder how can you screw that up. I get confused and trapped by numbing thoughts and then I resort to negative self defeating […]
My existence is fucking stupid:
The HIGhLIGHT of my life is work. While I spend 80% of my time here, I don’t mind the job, it’s just infuriating that I’m squandering my prime years.
My coworkers practically murder each other to be the first out the door. Not me, I’d rather stay. Menial grinding is better than the home war zone. I usually lie about when I need to be to work. Sometimes I come in early, others I nap in my car.
I’m isolated. I don’t try to make friends anymore. I’m not allowed to go out solo, I don’t want anyone to witness the […]
Where to start, well, it’s pretty clear that 90% of my turmoil is the result of an abusive marriage I want out of. I’m here of my own accord though, I’ve chosen this sacrifice, this suffering, because reasons.
I’ve also come to realize, in some strange way.. I sought this. In some sickening way, I’m comfortable being depressed. I feel as though, I pursued someone to hurt me, to justify feeling so hurt.
I’ve been on here roughly a week. A common theme I see, is people just wanting someone, anyone. It makes me Stockholm myself, as if taking this beating is better than being alone. Especially […]
I’ve been reading people’s posts here for about a year and it has helped keep me going. (Thank you all.) I never commented or posted but now I think I’m nearing the end and want to get more involved. I have hit rock bottom. It’s a long story but I lost my job and then I decided to quit all my meds last week because I’m tired of living in a fog. I currently feel incapacitated and I don’t know how I will go on. I live alone and I will run out of money soon. I have enough of a lethal drug to kill […]
Hi folks. I want you to know, you help me get by. I understand you, I feel for you, your stories resonate for me, I am one of you, here I belong. I was never a ‘happy smiley’, I never will be a happy smiley. In fact I militantly stand for the right not to fecking smile lol. I was the only one in my sixth form class not freaking smiling. And I’m not ashamed. I knew life and society sucked back then (though I was lamentably immature and naive in so many other ways). I wasn’t taken in by the hype.
So fuck faking it.
I just wanted to thank everyone for helping me talk about my problems. No matter how ashamed and embarrased I felt being a 35 yr old man. Crying and sobbing and contemplating killing myself because of a girl that I fell in love with that just threw me away. I want to name names but there are so many that helped. I’m glad all you ppl cared about me. Well I felt that way. As I do you. Thanks also for adding me in the stories as they were fun and funny. They helped feel ok in my darkest of times alone, self sabotaging and […]
Yours truly: Hey! Everybody shut up for a second!
rocketman: No you shut up!
Moi: Who gave him alcohol? Goddammit! Was it you Hazy?
Hazy just gives thelost a sly look that clearly admits her guilt
Hazy: Certainly not me!
Myself: Uh-huh, I’m sure. Either way, I have something to say folks! It’s Christmas soon, and it’s a special time for me, even though I may not necessarily be Christian. Christmas is about seeing those you love and miss, and there’s nobody I’d rather spend it with.
rocketman: (slurring slightly) I love you too man!
Me: Good for you buddy! Now, to seal the Christmas spirit I thought we’d have Hazy perform […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I just can’t do this anymore. I’m tired of being the running joke, the punch-line. I’m tired of the battles, of the constant warfare. It shouldn’t be this difficult… it shouldn’t be a competition. Yet there are people in my life that are evil (for lack of a better word). I’m tired of my happiness being destroyed because others feel I don’t deserve it. I’m tired of being tired.
After the holidays I am swan diving. I only hope that seven stories will be enough. I plan to write DNR on my chest just in case.
Hello everyone,
New member here, after roughly 1 year of anonymously lingering around this site, I’ve decided that I should finally register, and here I am a registered member of this awesome site. So yeah, enjoy my company and I hope to get to know everyone well and that we may also exchange our suicidal stories. haha 🙂
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