I really wonder am I weak for letting the pain get to me like this? For all the tears I’ve cried for all the times I’ve put a blade to my skin. For the constant thoughts of killing myself? For not wanting to be here. I have had a hard past but why cant I just let that go and move on? Why cant I be happy again? I have to many questions…. but honestly I am tired. I hardly ever sleep anymore and I have to force myself to get up and go on everyday. I appear happy to everyone but I’m no where […]
Tag:
Suicidal Thoughts
ok i might have not put enough info or worded the last post wrong but here’s  whats going on I’ve been grounded for months and well my only friend was sent to work with her ant 4000 miles away till school starts but shes in high school and i”m not. also i now have depression and suicidal thoughts and actions and well frankly in going insane i peel the skin of the bottoms of my feet and the edges of my finger. i want my life back but if i even say the word grounded the’ll make it longer…. i feel hopeless i cant sleep […]
Well, isn’t this great. Just when my suicidal thoughts start to lessen, i start having homocidal ones. Last night I was looking at my little 5-year-old brother, who I love and adore. And then I started laughing like a freaking maniac. I didn’t know why I did. It just felt so good to laugh. I realised later why I laughed so demonically. It was because I wanted to kill him. I wanted to slit his throat. I don’t want to kill him, or anyone, for that matter now. I don’t know why…it was like I wasn’t even in control of myself. I just don’t […]
what is it with parents/ loved ones and guilt trips..
they always cut me so deep..
I feel like such a piece of shit afterwards..
I realize I screwed up, but..
after one guilt trip, especially from my mother..
I just want to disappear forever..
death.. is fine, don’t care..
then I get angry.. but that gets me nowhere..
guilt trips, so cheap and piercing..
simple words that destroy my day..
suicidal thoughts flood my soul..
and the fight in my mind continues once more..
and so, in the end, the person who so adamantly doesn’t want me to kill myself..
is the very same […]
When I look forward and try to picture my future I see absolutely nothing. That petrifies me, that feeling of dread catches in my lungs and I don’t know what to do. How do I make it go away? Dear god I need something. The blade is not enough anymore, I love her, I always will, but it’s becoming dull. I fantasise about suicide, the how’s and when’s … pills or hang from a rope or a trip off a ledge, if you dare. I want more than anything to make it stop; I need it all to fucking stop. I have never attempted, I […]
Whats’s there to even say about me anymore? What’s the point in saying it. I am now a 19 year old male who has been in a severe state of depression for 6-7 (if not more) years. I hate reading the cliche sayings by depressed people, who just doesn’t know how to express what they feel, but I find myself using those same exact ones. I’m so overwhelmed just in writing this, that I have no idea where to begin… I guess I’ll tell a little of my story.
Well… I was raised by parents who believe/d in a rather extreme form of evangelical-charismatic christianity. Looking […]
One of the worst nights I’ve had in some time. I cut for the first time in months. I just can’t take it anymore. It feels like I roam the earth each day as a zombie, and I just don’t feel alive anymore. Fuck it. I just don’t want to do it. I would love to be the owner of a small pistol right now, and after seeing how everything has played out, I find it very unlikely that I will allow myself to live for much longer. I know no one cares, but I needed to talk about this, and I have no friends […]
I wasn’t planning on posting here for another couple of days, but recent circumstances have altered my plans. June 27, 2010 is the day that one of my best friends took his own life. I write a memorial post here each year on that day as a way for me to remember him by. Last night another one of my friends committed suicide. It’s been numbing, as I’ve realized how little it affects me. Not because I don’t care, as this is a person that I had a great deal of respect for, and someone that I genuinely enjoyed being around. I know he had […]
Last night was really scary. I’m 18, I’ve had suicidal thoughts off and on for over a year now, but lately they are pretty relentless. Yesterday I was having them all day, I’m not even sure why. I also just relapsed with my eating disorder. Every day I either restrict calories or eat and then make myself sick. I threw up twice yesterday. When it came time to go to bed I could not think about anything other than killing myself. I started to drift off and as I did I started picturing everyone who knows me going to my funeral and reacting to my […]
I’m doing a video project that i will hopefully be able to show in school and i may put it on you tube.
It will basically be a video about people that have anything like depression, EDs, Suicidal thoughts etc.
I will have people send in video clips of them telling their story if they want or giving simple advice. Then i will have people at the end say things like stay strong etc
I really want to do this. Its something i’ve had planned for a while now. If your interested or want more details message me here:
http://our-silentscreams.tumblr.com/ask
or here
https://www.facebook.com/shannon.morley.96
It would also help if you could […]
So this is my first post and I’m either afraid I will leave out too many details or give too many details. I’m not really sure who will read this but there is no happy ending to this story. Here we go.
To start things off I’ve never been truly happy I suppose. I’ve lived pretty rough at this point. Early on in life I dealt with an abusive sibling who being much older tortured me in ways I dare not say at this point. Things seemed to ease up upon taking up gymnastics which gave me an outlet to do things. However this gave me untold […]
“keep listening to music because it gets you through everything”
by imlostatsea
written by imlostatsea
life saving bands:
Never Shout Never
Pierce the Veil
Sleeping with Sirens
Suicide Silence
Of Mice & Men
My Chemical Romance
Enter Shikari
Bring Me The Horizon
Black Veil Brides
All Time Low
Falling in Reverse
Fall Out Boy
My Genuine Find
Catching Your Clouds
Motionless In White
The Devil Wears Prada
Blessthefall
We Came As Romans
Attack Attack!
A Day To Remember
Asking Alexandria
Suicide. That thing that describes the action that people want to take upon themselves, to end ones life. To get away from there problems, there thoughts, there own personal hell that they created. This action has crossed my mind many times. I’ve recently been diagnosed with chrons disease, and the physical and mental torture that comes with that is too much. I had suicidal thoughts before this, and when added its becoming a struggle. 6 months before i went to Dr.s to get it checked out i would experience extreme stomach area pain, everyday, all day. When they diagnosed me with it they prescribed medication. […]
Well, I’m the girl everyone thinks is happy. They all come to me with their problems. No one would suspect that I’ve dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts as long as I can remember…
I know the first time I remember wanting to die was when I was 7 years old. When I voiced this thought to my mother, she said she would hit me if I ever said that again.
I remember I was about 12 or 13 when I first started cutting and starving myself. No one thought anything of my rapid weight loss; kids go through stages where they suddenly lose […]
It’s nearly midnight and what’s happening? The thoughts are returning…..The voices are speaking..no, YELLING at me >.< I can hear them now….. “Die ***** die!” “Who says you’re worth living?” “You don’t deserve to live. Your own parents didn’t even want you. HA!”
The thoughts destroy me, kill me, suffocate me, eat me alive. My demons…they’re real. They exist. I don’t want to go on but..I have to. Not just for myself. I’m not living for myself anymore. I’m living for him. And her. For them. They may not care about me but I love them with all my heart.
It’s like…I can scream at them and […]
I don’t know why I feel this way
I don’t know why I do this to myself
I don’t know why I cry so much
I don’t know why I tried to kill myself
I don’t know why I push everyone away
I don’t know why I feel so alone
I don’t know why I am anxious
I don’t know why you hate me
But then again i think i do.
I have a recent but unfortunately permanent medical condition that causes me constant pain and fatigue and will make sustained employment difficult. Tonight I acknowledged to my partner that it does give me suicidal thoughts at times. Their response was to say they felt like they would never be able to give me what I need; after a period of quiet, they left the room.
I don’t know what to do. I was an active, adventurous person before my illness. I feel like I’m a now an island, and life’s ship is steaming away. And the walls of silence between my partner and I grow thicker […]
Life isn’t supposed to be like this.
I’m supposed to go to college in the fall. I’m supposed to become a nurse in 4 years. I’m supposed to look forward to the future.
All I can think about is suicide though. I don’t want to be alive anymore, I’m done. I know if I die I will mess up a lot of peoples’ lives. That’s the only thing holding me back, I don’t want to hurt everyone. Does anyone have any advice? I don’t know how to make these thoughts go away and they’re ruining my life.
So I’m seventeen, 17, just graduated from high school. I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts for about 4 or 5 years now. I attempted suicide in 2011 after I was hurt by someone who meant the world to me and I regretted everything. I’ve started up counseling since May 10 this year and have started medication but I still have depressed days and days that are hard to get through. I feel like nothing helps. What broke me is I had a nervous breakdown a few days before I started meds and going to counseling and nearly ended it. I have a box filled with […]
I’m going to try and give my story the best way I can. I haven’t been on this Earth for a very long time, and I’ve been plagued by problems (but not as much compared to come of the posts I’ve read on here). I started having suicidal thoughts when I was about 10, and I’ve had them ever since. I started having them because I was being bullied very badly at school. My Mother (who is going to appear many times in this story), also picked on me but not as bad. Fast forward 2 years from then, I started getting homeschooled, and my […]