can you do it

I know very soon i will start an attempt but this will be a little different.Pills almost did me in about a week ago.i told the psych at er id try again in two weeks guess shell be seeing me again.Anyway i have this image of slicing a line with my moms box cutter starting at the elbow going straight down almost to the wrist.
But thats not what i want to talk about.
I want to talk about what the key making dcisions and steps you need to determine wether you can actually go through with it or not.
1. can you let go.
When you commit suicide you often are thinking of not only the peace in dying but the things in life you wish you have or could change.with suicide there is none of that no boyfriend no girlfriend no pets to lick you or anything.The life you live on earth will not be the same as when you are dead.No one knows what the afterlife holds.But the things you had on earth will not be there.It will just be different.The point is you will not succeed in suicide if you are still attached to earthly things cause your soul will grip on for dear life and you will live
2. No fear. Fear holds us back and is related to step one.You can not let go cause you are scared.Thoughts of the afterlife are scary.As you are dying you will become scared you will want to turn back and sometimes thatll be to late.other times you will call for help.A lot of suicide attempts you can be brought back sometimes your life will be worse than before you could have a failed liver or be paralyzed it all depends.A lot of people think about this before jumping in front of a car.what if i survive.If you want to die fear of not dying can keep a person from taking this step
3. Hope. This is hard cause even in the bleakest times we often imagine a better future.Hope keeps us alive even when we are suffering.We can want something so bad that we wait till the last moment. If you look back up to number one this also means letting go.Sometimes something good will happen in our life and for a moment we will be the happiest person in the world.When we are let down are hope goes down but then something good happens and are hope and then it just starts going up and down pretty much.if you are tired of going up and down you must let go of hope
4. Pain and following through.
Some of us dont have an issue with pain.But at one point if your say cutting you may say to yourself ive done enough damage. you will stop. Usually people who shoot themselves only do it one time or if they even make it one time.But usually people live because they decide its enough.If you are trying to kill yourself you need to be sure of what is and isnt enough,Pain will also make you not follow through.
5.emotions. These are tricky cause emotions can work for and against you.You can be happy about dying.You can be angry enough want to die or you can just feel nothing at all. However emotions are suspect.People are not stupid.If you have a psych history you may get noticed and asked questions by people who know you.or someone may get concerned and you may tell them whats going on and they may get help.Which is best if you are newly suffering help may benift you.If you are trying to off yourself.Telling someone means a cry for help not that you want to die. If you have anger issues causing a scene will get the police coming and they arent very nice all the time.And they will get you help.They may or may not handcuff you for your safety.If you remain numb.No one may ever notice how your feeling or they might be more tempted to break you from being numb basically if you want help for your problems talk about them if you dont then say nothing which brings me to the final thing.
5. dont make a scene. If your really thinking about doing this.You dont want to make a scene.Cops can show up pretty quick for a suicide.If enough people notice you there will be plenty enough time to save you from yourself.Tasers, dogs, brave people, family and friends.If you make a scene in some cases you can be coherced to not harm yourself.You can be saved. this section relates also to following through cause suicide is hard to go through with.If you decided to attempt and our among people you can be saved by waiting.
Suicide is not just something simple you do like a party.Your mind works overtime when your thinking about it.Often people are saved because there thinking so many things at once or it just wasnt enough that they did.Its not a bad thing to be given help.i think most people wish they had more help than they do and maybe they wouldnt be so convinced they had to die.But for the people who really want to die and look over this list and ask yourself this are you really capable of killing yourself. If not then maybe the better thing would be to find some help and if you are recieving help and its not working find better help