It’s all i think about
Can’t get it out
So hard to resist
all i have is a small razor
so i drag the blade across my legs and arms
wishing to do myself much more harm
one day, one day
…Suicide
Tag:
Suicide
I made a post a couple months ago about a girl that I loved who cheated on me and left me. And how I thought that I had nothing left. Thanks to you guys I moved on and forgot about her. But she came back into my life and acted like snitching was wrong. I didn’t want to be mean, so I welcomed her presence. She led me on again and I fell so the same trick. She got me to care for her again and broke my heart again. I’m a moron for falling for it but the real problem is that I haven’t […]
I can no longer count the number of friends and family that have committed suicide on one hand.
The pain in knowing i’ll never see these people again is the biggest emotional hurt. I can no longer see their beautiful smiles or hear their voices. I’d like to share one particular suicide which I learned a lot from.
I was 15 at the time. Only 15. We stayed over at a friends house after a party along with many other people. I woke up in the morning to find one of my gorgeous, lovely and amazing friends having hung herself off the deck. To this day the […]
I’ve never done this before but I need someone who understands me to talk to. Let me start by describing myself a little bit. So I’m a 25yo woman (kid at heart). I’m told by most I look like I should be a model (I don’t see it). I have an awsome personality very down to earth open minded and supportive to others and have a lot of knowledge about life do to my own exploring. I have no kids but the best dog in the world that I would take a bullet for and a man of 6 years. But ever since I can […]
Hey. I’m the Knight of Flowers. I’m Hungarian, 23 years old and have a great job which comes with superb salary. My problem is I can’t stop thinking about who I was: a f’in poor guy who worked for anybody just to earn the money to pay the rent, buy some food. Now I’m rich but I don’t want to be successful because there are people starving or get killed for no reason. Wait, there is a reason: human’s cruelty. We live in a world where most people are evil, only act when their action results in benefits. You can be lucky, have a great […]
Everyone lied to me…A girl lied that she is different … A man lied that my condition will get better…A adult lied that she wanted me…A friend lied that she needs me…Stop it…Shut the fuck up! You people thinks that I don’t know? I am smarter than you thought I am… Your lies are too obvious for me now…I can’t believe that I used to trust you…I can’t believe that I was such a fool…But I don’t have to care anymore ….I used to be a kind person…But my 2nd personality is gaining control ….That dangerous 2nd personality ….He’s gonna kill you all…Or I will […]
so, first off im happy today:) (but its night so that will change im sure.) but one thing is really annoying me and probably always will cause i will never understand what goes thru my friend’s mind.
he says his life will go dark without me (saying i die) cuz im his best friend and he has no one else..? ok cool. understand that. he says im amazig and the bestest friend ever? i dont believe it cuz i have proof im not: first, im not that nice i complain and get depressed and hes the ONLY one i talk to when i […]
I’m not optimistic about the future. I think my life is already done. I know, or I think so, that I have skills and abilities. If I wanted to, I could do a lot of things, I could be anything: a genius, a hero, a loved one. Sometimes I feel like I were God, with all the possibilities and a whole life in front of me. And sometimes, I feel like a turtle: small, useless in most of the cases and always quiet and hiding. I know I’m not doing any of what I could do, just because I’m too stupid for doing it and, sincerely, too lazy. A […]
For the past year, I’ve been struggling with life. Attempted suicide, cut, people were made aware, my parents said I had “no reason” or I did it “to be cool”. They even told everybody that. Never even considered counseling or meds. Just acting like it never happened, they didn’t even give a fuck. I still cut, I’m still depressed, I think about suicide just about at least once a day. I’ve got help once, what’s the point in trying to get help again? It’ll end the same anyways. If I do permanently harm myself its not like anyone will care. Except my bestfriend. Besides her, […]
It’s true. And it’s the reason for my suicide. These feelings of hopelessness stem from being an imperfect human being. I have a poor memory, make lots of mistakes – but worst of all, I’m ugly. I am so unattractive. I look in the mirror and fall apart crying, I get violent visions of mutilating my body, hacking it to pieces until I disintergrate. Until I’m nothing anymore. Unrecognisable. Until I die from bloodloss, hopefully, and everybody can forget I ever existed. That’s all I want – to not exist, to never have existed. I wish I had never existed.
I go to bed and pray […]
i can’t share my story, it’s too hard. i can’t let go of old memories that happened in my life. whenever i ask mum for help she tells me that i’ll eventually move on with life or something i do not cut or hurt myself so that’s why i want a fast way to commit suicide because how awkward would it be jump off a cliff or something and not die.. thanks, your help would mean a lot
Well, I guess my story starts from the day that I was born. My mother, so I’ve been told, started drinking around the age of twelve. She was from an extremely abusive household and I figure she needed something to get her mind off of it. I don’t hold it against her. Anyway, she had about seven kids with a different man every time all over the United States and dropped us with the fathers. She committed suicide when I was about ten, not that it mattered. I never met the women and I don’t really care to.
My father also had a very, very, […]
I haven’t been an avid writer on this cite, I haven’t been able to make any relationships with any of you, and I know this cite is to relieve oneself from the frustration of that constant feeling of undying depression, but I just wanted you all to know how thankful I am for all the help you have given me. Because even though you don’t know me, talked to me or even commented on anything I’ve posted, I have read your stories and I don’t feel alone. It’s been 7 months of suicide-free euphoria! Nothing has changed in my life, and if anything going through […]
I was told by so many different people that I should kill myself. I’ve been told it since I was little. My dad, kids at school, my friend’s mom, people online I tried to open up to. I’ve been told indirectly that because I’m gay I should kill myself and burn in hell. I’ve been told that everyone hates me. People accuse me of lying for attention when I reveal that I was raped when I was six. I’m an idiot. I always say and do things to make people annoyed with me and hate me. I know they’d all be happier if they didn’t […]
Oh , night you beautiful ,
when darkness is growing
over the Carpathians.
Eternal melody that awake
memories from past and dreams.
This is my deastiny – darkness eternal
Cold night embrace me in her beauty ,
when freezing mist drift
over Transylvanian woods
that my body loses all senses.
Rain into the darkness falls like blood
from the sky on the cemetery where drain.
Eternity , ilusions and dreams –
recognize salvation.
Is light of life thet dying in me.
Is ice of sorrow the crystal in my eyes.
Fate of death and salvation tonight
I hear sing.
I’ve gone through this site a bit.
I decided to join because it looks like there’s some hints of people succeeding.
I’ve never managed to complete an exit. I’ve tried to overdose, and hang myself, but somewhere along the way I get scared- I text someone I know in the back of my mind will come, or call someone who will. Someone who will talk me out of it and take care of me for a while.
Last time I overdosed I was  stuck in kid mode. For a month my boyfriend got me dressed in the morning, made me eat breakfast, walked me to my lectures to […]
I’m feeling worse every day. With every breath I feel emptier. I’m doing a lot of shit for trying to survive, because I’m hurt and empty and that fucks me. That’s why I’m so self-destructive. My strategy for survive every day makes me feel more empty, but calms my pain temporarily. I don’t even know why I am hurt. I mean, my whole life is so normal, my family problems and all that stuff are really common. Everybody have problems and I think I’m too dramatic so I hate myself for that. No one fucking cares, I talk about all this with a few friends and they also […]
Hey, you.
I want to let you know that you’re not alone, and what you’re feeling now is something each and every single one of us can relate to. We’ve all felt at one point or the another, that what we’re going through is something that we can’t come out of, or too painful to see through. Though, even if you don’t believe in yourself, I believe in you.
I can’t and wont promise you that everything will be better, but I can promise you that can make it through tomorrow. You’re reading this now, aren’t you? You made it through today, and I promise that tomorrow will […]
I discovered this site yesterday through Google or something, I can’t really remember. Immediately, I thought I should become a part of it, whether to just help myself or to help anyone who needs it.
I would really like an online friend or something. Just someone I could speak to about all the difficult times and the things I’m thinking or feeling, and they could do the same. I could tell them all these things and it wouldn’t matter too much because I wouldn’t have to see them in person and have awkward polite conversation.
I’m not the person to speak to if you wish to just […]
suicide is
a permanent solution
to a
temporary problem.
you should ask.
i could answer
make everyone laugh.
it’d be great if
i could make you think.
make you realize that
suicide
is real.
and people feel it.
and people do it.
and rational consideration-
‘how will this affect others?’
-doesn’t come into play.
because pain is
real.
pain can make us do
stupid things
if we’re not
strong enough.
stupid things
like acting on it.
it’s an intense need to
escape
coupled with a limited understanding
of what death is
of what death can do
how it can
damage
and not solve anything at all.
it’s when you feel
powerless
to change things
hopeless
pointless
futile.
you KNOW
people will be hurt
because you did it
but
it doesn’t matter then
it doesn’t register
because
staying alive to keep them reassured-
maintaining, so they won’t have to suffer
while you do…
it’s not […]