I’m thinking about starting to cut to see if it will help release the pain like it used to. I used to do it like over 10 yrs ago… I’m sooo much older now. I always think only teenagers do it (not to put down anyone) but I’ve been thinking about starting it back up lately just to see if it helps. Does it really help? The pain has been getting really bad again… been thinking about going thru with suicide and using helium to accomplish this… but gotta make sure a few things are in order first.
I am 16 years old. I am not welcome into my own home. I have always been an outcast my whole life. I’m a freshmen.
I play sousaphone in marching band.
I am on depression, anxiety and scizo meds.
My best friend got in a car wreck and died.
My mom tells me I’m useless, I’m nothing.
I write poems. I’m put down for them.
a total of 10 friends of mine have killed themselves.
I’m too fat to eat…I’m 197 pounds. I don’t eat.
I cut myself a lot. I have tried suicide.
And i have a therapist. She doesnt help.
i am […]
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you […]
My name’s Sabrina, im 16 now a sophomore . I was 12 when i first started thinking about suicide. I was going into 6th grade one of the hardest times in a kids life. I had never really had a child hood, my dad had been a crack addict my whole life. My mom was sent to a mental institution after i walked in on her cutting herself a couple times. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder. During the summer is the worst i stay awake all night crying, burning, cutting. nothing ever helps me. im so scared. i always think […]
So this is my story to tell you all….i am an 18 year old girl and when i was younger around age 15 i had the worst things happen to me every day…i got bullied, put down on everything i wanted or did..so one day i finally gave up on everything i took the chain that was hanging from my ceiling fan i decided i would use that to hang myself to get rid of all the pain and feelings of the things that happened..i put the chain around my neck and stepped off the chair, the chain snapped in two and i fell to […]
This is long and scattered and weird, but if I don’t let everything out on here I’m gonna let it out on my skin, so… read, or don’t..
Starting in January this year, things have been getting easier. Near the end of school and beginning of summer break, life was great. Better than it’s been in years. Always hanging with my girlfriend, we stopped fighting ever… i was sometimes depressed but always ok! It was great, it was… unbelievable.
When I realized how unbelievably easier my life had been to tolorate recently, I started to think of the future. Things can’t be this easy forever. Eventually I’m gonna have hard shit […]
Hello.
I left for a while thinking it would make me feel better. It didn’t. I managed to lose all of my (few) friends recently. All completely my fault. Nights are extremely hard. I can’t get away from myself, I have no one to confide in, and I figured out a few depressing things about myself. Enough to keep me up at night.
On the bright side, I lost forty pounds in something like 7 weeks. Probably a bit unhealthy, but I really don’t give a shit.
I’m fully prepared for suicide, and will do so without fail when the time comes. I guess I’m just […]
I’ve tried to kill myself 6 times in the past and I just wont die. Always somebody ends up ‘saving’ me and Im soppose to be happy for that. I’ve been to psychiatric hospitals the same number of times and it doesnt help me at all. When I come out I want to die even more !
As far as everyone knows Im the crazy, suicidal guy. It is hard to understand that I hate my life and every second in my life is misery ?
Anyway… There’s ways I havent try ! Maybe next time I’ll try to hang myself !
As someone who’s survived 3 serious attempts I wish to say that I have no intention of making it through number four. I’ve finally arrived at the conclusion that I’m statistically supposed to be dead by now and it’s not something which makes me feel better. I’ve seen so much pain on my short tour here on Earth. Humanity does little to stoke my optimism, in fact it does the opposite. I’m a vet, I’m mentally unstable, I’m single, I’m unemployed for the fourth year running and I’m almost homeless (I already was for 3 years.) A close friend who I met while being homeless committed suicide via alcohol and prescription […]
Kill the lights because
The shows all over
And realize that
My time is up
The stage is set for
My own death
A suicide written by me
The pain of yesterday
Haunts me today
And I can’t live to see tomorrow
When all I know is hate
Disappear today andÂ
Leave the world to sway
In it’s cycle again
The list so long
Of things I’ve done wrong
Stapled to my note
Will show the world whyÂ
I deserve to die
All that’s left is to choose
Which method will remove
My spirit from my body for good
One last cut
One last smoke
One last glass […]
Rachel Ferguson- Never Good Enough
The story of me. I wrote this after my first hospital visit, it was going to be my suicide note but a close friend of mine found me before I died. He has an uncanny ability to call me whenever I’m seriously debating suicide even though he’s moved all the way across the world from me.
Born to the urban monster,
Raised to be mindless,
Her curiosity brought pain,
Tears of blood shed in silence.
Ostracized by her peers,
In the shadows she played.
Her “friends†cruel like the rest,
As she was bullied there came no aid.
Fragile, she often wept,
They laughed and pointed.
Ridiculed and mocked into […]
“how are you?” I get this pang of sadness.
“Well I’m fine” I wonder why I woke up this morning. I wonder why I bother with any of it.
“Whats on your mind?“ how painful it would be to hang myself.
“Just thinking” I wish I would stop dong that.
“about what?“ Suicide
“nothing much” Why do I feel so depressed?
“how come you don’t want to talk?”cause all I can think of is why I’m not dead yet. Not much of a conversation, huh?
*silence*
“Fine. I’ll leave you alone” yes, please do.
“okay” Another moment and i’d start […]
Written to a dear friend, who helped me live the sweetest lie. I’ve often contemplated suicide and have attempted and, as you can obviously tell, failed to actually kill myself. My dearest friend, Matthew, who’s name has been changed due to privacy issues, and I dated for a year. This is my last letter to him, sent to him only a few days before his death. He was found in his garage with the engine running not long after his death, and soon I hope to join him.
I’m tired of this life, tell me a lie.
Do me a favor; tell me I’ll be missed if I […]
I don’t know.
I find myself every day saying this. I repeat this word alot. I’ve been living with the spectre of suicide since I was 8, I’ve hated life since then.  I saw my grandfather lying in the casket, and everyone was crying, I didn’t understand until I went over and told grandpa to wake up… he didn’t wake up.
Grandpa was just sitting there, not moving. I didn’t understand why he wasn’t getting up. I kept hoping he would get up, thinking that he was just asleep, but he was too still. In my little mind, I knew he was too still. I learned about […]
I was scared because I haven’t really felt anything at all in ages. No sadness, no happiness, no pain, no tears, no fear, no excitement, no laughter, no love, no hate. Just apathy and indifference. And not feeling anything scares the shit out of me, because I think that feeling all these emotions, good and bad, make everything real. And nothing felt real. And for a while it was good, because often feeling nothing is better than the level of pain I feel at times. But then feeling numb gets cold and sad and even more depressing than the sadness itself.
But this morning I […]
Hi. First off, something I want to say is that no matter how bleak things may look, you are strong, and you can make it through this. <3
My story starts about 5 years ago. all through elementary school I was always the most outgoing and fun-loving girl in our little town. I was never without a friend to play with. That all changed the day of my 11th birthday party. It was the most fun party I had ever had. I was so happy because my dad picked me and my friend up in a semi-truck to bring us home. we got there, and there […]
I thought I’d never have to come back here. I thought I was doing fine. I used to severely scratch my skin (around my shoulders and chest so no one could see) to take some extremely negative thoughts out on myself. I had stopped for about 4 days now. Then… today happened.
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Here’s a little back-story;
About 3 years ago, my ex cheated on her boyfriend of 2 years with her friend, they obviously broke up. Then me and her dated for about 2 weeks last year, but she left me to get back together with her ex, but he didn’t want her. She then […]
Today I started my “project”. I’m sick of the world, but my best and pretty much only friend wants me to stay with her until highschool, because she’s struggling with life as well. So I figured that if I slowly starve myself to death, I can stay with her, but as soon as school is out, the pain of starving will make it easier for me to just end life. I eat a lot so I’m not going to full out starve myself, but become majorly bulimic… Honestly, nobody on this site probably cares, but I just want to put it out there. I hate […]
FOr my whole life, I have been bullied, called fat, stupid, crazy, and psycho. I weigh 84kg today, and i’m only 14. I starve myself. I have depression. When I was 11, my brother died in a car accident. When I was 12, My cousin comitted suicide. We were so close and it has ripped my world apart into little tiny pieces. I cut myself. I consider suicide almost every day, like it’s something I have to do. Someone, help me. Please.
I feel so overwhelmed, I want out. My family never listens, so much fucking aggression. Everything is my fault. I want it to stop. Im so over my head, I just want someone to listen. I want something in my life that makes it worth it. I’m so sick of the fucking expectations and lectures and screaming!!!! I just want someone to be civil! No one will talk to me, Im fucking alone. They just get angry and yell when I talk about my feelings. I dont have any adequate instruments to cut myself. I feel like i’m welling up with all these ugly emotions, […]