I hate it when every time i feel like i’m getting somewhere with maintaining and re-establishing my 8 year friendship with my best friend she finds a new way to dimish all hope of us still being friends when we leave school and i don’t have alot of time because year 11 finishes in 10-11 weeks and my friend will stop going to school to go to tafe and it’s frustrating because it feels as though i’m the only one fighting for our relationship, because i’m the one to ask her do you want to see a movie? go shopping? or have a sleepover? and every single time […]
Tag:
Suicide
i am, its true. you are ALWAYS here for me, when im to fucked, to even think. promise after promise i make to u saying i will not attempt suicide, i will quit cutting, and in a week i will stop taking pills for the hell of it. honestly, im sorry, idk why i make promises i cant keep. i try but my mind out rules me. everytime. im terrified, i dont deserve a friend as AMAZING as u, im scared u will finally understand that, and leave. im still ALWAYS and FOREVER will be here for u. u can tell me ANYTHING. but again […]
Before I start, I am a girl. Fifteen.
Everybody thinks that ‘oh your just a teenager, it’s hormones.’
No. It really isn’t.
I have noticed something, something that many people seize to notice. People are just slaves. We are slaves to everybody around us. Slaves to the people that influence us and control us. Governments make the rules, we follow, simple. If we choose to use our life how we want, we are punished. Free country? I think not. Â People see suicide as being such a bad thing, they are always going on about how ‘omg suicide is selfish and terrible.’ No, it really is not. If it […]
i asked myself 1st thing this morning when i woke up. my “story” is not worth typing about – you already get it: it’s depressing. i’ve been suicidal for a few years now, but this will be my 1st real attempt. the “helium method” as i refer to it (no access to guns, i have plenty of pills but those have a TERRIBLE track record of successful suicides). i feel ready to go.
yet i have reservations. i think about my family.
i don’t love them, to me they are like strangers i just happen to know many things about, i do not feel connected or bonded […]
I’m 24 years old and have been depressed since i was six. I was raised in a family where i could never be good enough no matter how hard i tried. I was always compared to my older sister because she did well in school, and was grounded pretty much from first grade till high school. I have tried to commit suicide several times, usually with something going wrong (or right according to some people). In high school i started cutting myself to deal with my depression as it became worse. When i went off to college i met this girl who was popular and […]
Im 21 years old and have attempted suicide 5 times. I was sexually and physically abused growing up by my alcoholic dad and emotionally and mentally abused by my mom.  I have been raped more times than i can count by more than 7 diferent people all belonging to the same group of friends. I got pregnant by one of them and that made me more depressed but then i became to welcome the fact that i would have someone i could love and would be loved back. at 21 and a half weeks on July 17, 2011 i gave birth to a stillborn 5 ounce baby girl who was […]
it brought terror and fear, i dont get it. i WANT to die and i acted on it last night, but once everything went down hill i knew maybe death isnt the answer to life’s problems? it started with a headache i ignored it, i felt sharp stabbing pains going all down my back, everytime i stood up i was to weak and the pain was to annoying to just keep moving so i’d stand up and fall to my knees and rest this scared me. then i gave up attempting to walk let alone stand, so i just layed in bed then i started […]
When i first decided to stop drinking and eating entirely I made the decision to die, at the time that I began my painful journey I had already felt no need to eat anything at all, the thought of a big juicy hamburger nauseated me. With many of those seeking a chance to escape, I plea with you to decide between Irrational Suicide and Compassionate death, I know that it may sound ridiculous to for whatever reason to willingly kill yourself, period. Many people who take this path are those who are already dying and have wanted to shorten their suffering, this is the difference […]
My “What if?” turned into “Should I?”. Then that “Should I?” turned into “When should I?”. Soon after that, “When should I?” turned into “How should I?”. It all starts with one thought. That one thought drew in so much pain. When suicide becomes an option, it’s suddenly the only thing we see. It narrows our thoughts to only suicide.
Then your feelings start to become dangerous. But you don’t want anyone to know, right? So you lie. You lie about your feelings. You lie behind your smile. You lie to yourself. All we want is to be happy. Sometimes we can’t remember the last time […]
Life was always hard on me, from the day I was born.. with an alcohlic father who had abandoned me and my mother when I was 2 and a mother who’s hobby is to blame me for everything and yell at me.. Really no one to care for me at this age. I was always alone and I tried my best to always get out of the house as much as I could because why would I stay there..
When I got older and there had been more yelling towards me, neglect, and beatings.. I even remember one time when i was in grade 2 and […]
Well im only 15, about to start 10th grade next months. To be honest feel like im about to start hell. Having to see the same faces i’ve seen for the past years. I really feel like giving up now. Im so worthless. Really. And im sure no one would really be hurt if i was gone. Most of my friends turned their back on me. Ive always been an insecure little shit. And today i realized im really a big hypocrate. A pathetic brat. im just so mad at myself…… I’ve always hurt the people around me, everyone really. Im sure there isnt even […]
I don’t know why I was given this life. Seriously I rather be dead than alive. I can’t stand the concept of a “god” because according to “him” he gave me this miserable life I never asked for. Now that I am alive, I have to live it because I’m too much of a wimp to try suicide… I’m too afraid of the pain. I hate my race as well, I can’t stand living in this culture with these uneducated idoits. It gets me angry just to see my race. I won’t say what race it is so I won’t anger people. I don’t like […]
the coward’s way out, then I’d rather be a smart coward than brave and delusional
ever since I’ve stopped going to college (sept. 2011), I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do next, what path to follow .. in vain
but the truth is: a future where I’m glad I’m still alive, where I’ve found a purpose is a self-inflicted lie .. my ego+personality knows that when I die, it will be the end of it and it can’t stand the idea of its own death .. so it would rather fool me into believing there’s still something to gain from, something to accomplish […]
Sometimes I wish I was normal but that’s never going to happen. Life is supposed to get better but I doubt that. All I feel is numbness and it’s better than the pain I felt before. The only thing stopping me from going through with suicide is my best friends wouldn’t be able to handle my death well. My mom stopped caring about me a long time ago but my dad would go crazy without me with him. I refuse to live for myself, I only live for them, although I don’t care about myself, I care too much about others to put them through […]
I’m Carys, and this is my story. It started back in seventh grade, from January to now. I had recently met a girl, Kristin. We clicked right away and life was good. Until summer. One of my friends from before, Olivia, started acting up a bit. She was quieter, and preferred to stay behind more. I got concerned, but she wouldn’t say anything. Later, I discovered Kristin was a lesbian, and she liked me. I was kind of astonished, and I didn’t know what to think. Eventually, I fell in love with her. At the same time, however, Olivia revealed to me she liked Kristin. […]
My name is will and im 21 years old, born and raised is leicester-England.
I have been signed up to this site for a long time as i found strength from it, so many people have vented their frustration and the Samaritans or people who have been through and recovered from the same type of problems have ansered….in the past few months i have found streanth in this but now i am fucked.
i m sick of the anxiety i cannot be around people let alone make friends i cut myself daily even though i find it pathetic and stupid.
my dad is a misogynist who beat his wife and kids, which made […]
My plan for a long time has been pills and a letter left behind for my family. I’ve never had any specific date and I’ve never known what to take or the dosage or anything like that. I have never gone into specifics with the plan. I don’t know, maybe that’s a sign?
Thing is, every time I come close to figuring out the specifics, something comes up and gets in the way of the plan for a while. Things like my best friend needing me and me knowing that I need to be there for her because she needs a proper family even if […]
over the last couple of weeks, ive been depressed, i don’t know why and i dont know how i’ve gotten this way, i sit there and cry, i feel like nothing to anyone, i give up and just want to die all the time. Most people say i shouldn’t think that, because i’m 13 years old and i shouldn’t waste my life away, suicide isn’t the way to deal with it, i’ve cut myself, wished&cried that i didn’t want to be here so many times, people just don’t understand how i feel.. about anything? No-one knows why i’m like this, i don’t even know, i […]
Only 20 minutes ago i stumbled onto this site. I wasn’t looking to share a story about my life, or connect with others who felt the same as i do. I simply was looking for a small amount of inspiration for a friend of mine who’s thought of suicide. After finding this site i was instantly reeled in by a numerous amount of stories. Stories written by people right now just like myslef. Only a few minutes ago i read one about someone who wishes to die right now. And i know they’re not the only one wishing for the same relief..
Yes, i have thought […]
Here are some songs that I can relate to when I’m feeling depressed and suicidal.
Please leave a comment with your own suggestions so we all have something new to listen to!
Coming Apart (This video was loosely based on the story of Kevin Hines, a young man who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge)
Coming Apart Music Video. – YouTube.
Water Under The Bridge – Red Hot Chili Peppers
Because I attempted suicide, I really like the lyrics – “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-JodA2YcY
Gorilla Zoe Featuring Lil Wayne – LOST
“I’m losing my mind, […]