Peace was stolen from me and life was forced upon me Jan 13th 1972… The result of a lunchtime accident… My Dad was in a popular band and a mean drunk’n drug addicted ass. My mom was a doormat… The molestation began when I was 4 and went on for several years by a family friend… I was a child porn star… I remember running around my dads parties drink the drinks people would leave unattended… I took my first hit of weed in kindergarten… I had 2 older brothers.. My dad would beat us with jump ropes, fists and bang our heads together or […]
Tag:
Suicide
I tried to hang myself and I fell and when I got up I looked in the mirror and my neck was bruised, and red! If I can’t die, how am I going to live walking around with these marks all over my neck!!!!!
How do I hide them!?
A mundane, boring, dull, and hellish real world where it’s NOT supposed to be…
by niki
written by niki
Let’s face it: the real-world, especially one invented by normal mainstream society, can be boring dull as hell.
I often feel like I don’t belong here in this real world, and probably belong to other planet/universe/dimension.. already I’ve tried to find & browse for some clues that there are so much more mysteries & even magical things outside of our dull, limited earthly-sensed physical body called human.
and maybe I’ll migrate there, perhaps even sooner.
Although I still love the Earth (as a planet),
and admittedly even some Good citizens of it, ie: the warm, light-hearted, the intellectual, the ‘philosopher’ kind who can exchange conversations […]
Im going to do it. Im killing myself. Very very soon. Dont bother trying to talk me out of it because it wont work. Right now i dont give a damn about the consequences. I just want to die. Everyday my pain gets worse and worse. Im putting an end to all of this pain. This could be goodbye to everyone, so i wish you good luck in all that you do. Perhaps i will see you all in the afterlife if there is one.
-End
I am a 53 yr old pre-op transsexual woman. I have suffered from severe depression for more years then I care to remember. I have been committed to the hospital 3 times so far for attempted suicide. During 2 of these hospital stays I had a total of 14 electrical shock threapy sessions. I have been several different meds for many years but nothing changes. Nothing has helped. I don’t dare tell my doctors that I am feeling like ending my suffering again in fear of being put back in the hospital. So where do I go for […]
Friend of mine died from over dosing on sleeping pills. This has been quite a while maybe like 4 years? i never got the details as his family was very hurt and shocked by this. but from what i learned is that he took 32 50 mg sleeping pills (over the counter) and some alcohol(spirits,liquor) and sat in his bath. now im confused as to how he died some say he drowned when he went unconscious and some are saying he just over dosed and went to sleep in the water(forever) i just miss him a lot and i just had a random dream of […]
Today I’ve cut long and deep. 3 times. I can’t quit..I don’t want to which makes That even worse
Well, my best friend wrote me a really long and sweet letter to me last night. She told me how much she loves me and cares for me and misses me( I’m in another country visiting family). And she is the top person I love and care for. I couldn’t live with out her. Literally. And she told me should couldn’t live with out me either. I guess our friendship is a bit odd. We want to off ourselves together. And we have been planning that for some time now. I really think its gona work. But we want to use a shotgun, to be […]
I cant take this anymore. she said she cant talk to me because she has a boyfriend and he would get mad. she didnt tell me who it was though. great, another boyfriend. well she obviously cares not about me, so theres no reason for me to live! so i grab the rope, i already know how to tie the hangmans noose so this will be easy. i tie the knot, go get the ladder and attatch it to the ceiling. i climb the ladder, place the rope around my neck. as im doing so, i think about what im leaving in this world. i am leaving all the […]
Is being kind such a bad thing?
Kind and caring; two traits I’ve been deemed with ever since birthed into this strange, cruel world.
It seems like a blessing, whatever that means, but feels ultimately.. like a curse.
When one lives for others they find no room for themselves; they’re squeezed out of their own personal schedules and discarded as if meaningless.
When someone feels this way.. how can they ever turn back?
I’m already gone from my mind; am I truly missing?
Or am I still somewhere in the vastness of my own memories..?
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Waiting […]
So there was someone who saw my scars and cuts and asked me if I was trying to kill myself. It’s not the first time someone has asked me that. Someone who cuts doesn’t always want to kill themselves. A lot of people actually just cut for relief and not to die. If they wanted to die by cutting then they would probably be dead already. It annoys me a lot when people ask me if I was trying to kill myself. And then I have to go and explain everything to them which I don’t wanna do, so I don’t really. And the scars […]
I believe that love doesn’t exist for me. I’ve never been loved and never will be. Maybe I just don’t want to. I don’t know. Sometimes I wish I did fall in love, and was happy. But that’s a dream for me. I know no one will love me the way I want to be loved and cared for. I will never find a ”soulmate” because my doesn’t even exist. So I don’t want to exist anymore. It’s not worth it anymore. I’ve lived my miserable and horrible life for way too long. Maybe tonight’s the night I will be on my way to a […]
Now its over. This is the end. Everything that you have done to me has led to this. My wrist now bears a vertical cut along the vein from which there is no coming back from. A bloodied knife lays on the floor. Blood gushes from my wound. My vision gets blurry. I write on the wall with my blood the word, WHY? The only note I leave is to whoever finds my body. I tell them to let Her know what I did and that I will always love her. Time is running out. The moment that I have longed for is near. I […]
Night, my favorite time of the day. I hate going outside during the day. Walking around seeing all of the happy couples walking together, holding hands, talking, and knowing that I will never be in that position. I will never be with someone. At night, I look up in the sky. View the stars, the moon and everything and think about why I am always the one who is left by myself. Why I am the one who nobody even thinks about for one second. Why I am the one who hates my life while everyone else is out enjoying theirs. Then I lay down, […]
For so long now I have kept up the hope and faith that I would get past the obstacles that keep me down. I’m a good person. I am kind and charitable. I’ve tried everything I can to succeed in my business and continue to fail. I have sacrificed much to help my wife reach her goal. Now she is showing signs of turning her back on me. My son has turned his back on me in spite of all I’ve done for him over the years. I feel so alone. So very, very alone.
hey, ive been viewing this website for quite awhile now. reading everyones stories and thinking about what theyve been through. how theyve felt. and what drove them to consider suicide. i wll try to tell you my story and how i got here. its going to be a long one so brace yourself..my classmate gave me her number and i didnt text her till mabye a month later. i was so bored and i started looking through the contacts. curious, i texted her. at first it as akward becuz we didnt know eachother. but after a few deays we became friends. over a longer period […]
I have been trying not to kill myself for 7 years now and i cant take it anymore.My mother died when i was eight and that when i had my first suicidal thought. After that my dad would look at me and my brother avoided me because i look like my mom. They still acoid and ignore me today. So i start to escape by good to school and staying after. But i was picked on everyday for acting like a boy because i was razed by boys. I had friends though and it was better than home. Than we started moving a lot and […]
In July 2009, my mum heard the words no mother ever wants to hear “Your daughter is in ICU. She’s not expected to live.” Almost 2 years later, I am still alive, but my mum is not. Talk about irony. I had landed in ICU (for the second time in 18 months) after taking an overdose of my anti-psychotic medication, Seroquel. I remained in ICU on life support for 48 hours, and then spent a further 2 days in hospital under close observation and on IV anti-biotics after contracting pneumonia from the breathing tube.
I had my reasons for wanting to end my life, but […]
No matter how many times I try to run from suicide it finds me Depression appears every time your here I want something to love someone anyone it would be a different day for me for you for everyone who played a part and stole pieces of my heart it could be today that you won’t see me tomarrow
Anyone who said that today, after what’s been happening lately in the world, needs to be shot in his/her head.
This is exactly why there’s so many society problems nowadays, and so many stressed, depressed and even suicidal people on the left and right everywhere.
This is also why society nowadays is so in a mess, education fails, but wars thrive on.
Fuck it.
Deep down inside we should know that we’ve been brainwashed a lot and a NEW theory needs to be rewritten if humanity wants to survive for BETTER future.
Deep down inside each and every one of us I’m sure know that human’s […]