Tag:

Suicide

I feel like a failure and nothing I do is ever good

by niki 11/25/2010

written by niki

I’m not feeling good recently.. please allow me to share my current situation for you to read:
I feel like a failure, confused, and that nothing I’m doing is ever good (especially to my parents’ eyes).

What will you do in that situation?
especially when I’m 28 yrs old, and I’m still living with my parents, now still jobless (funnily because of my own stubborn idealism of getting out from the 7-years work you hate), still single (where you’re traditionally expected to already got married at 26, and now already have a baby), and constantly getting nagged and asked and even […]

11/25/2010 3 comments

Depressed for no great reasons…

by KlashingKamille 11/24/2010

written by KlashingKamille

Ive been depressed for a while, Im 14 years old and done with all the ‘all teenagers go through this phase’ bullshit. Ive gone psychologist to psychologist, from hospital to hospital, and happy pills. Im not depressed for any good reasons. I have a house. I have food. I have clothes. Im for the most part healthy. But i cry over the stupidest things, like how i look.

I was thinking about the fight with my ex-friends that caused me to drop out of school (im considering homeschool or just running away, even ‘therapeutic boarding school’ if we can afford it). I start crying everytime i […]

11/24/2010 5 comments

sometimes the reason you can feel suicidal is as simple as…

by niki 11/24/2010

written by niki

…knowing that this so-called Real Life/world can never match up your super uber vivid imaginations, fantasy, dreams at night, and also your feelings.

To put it bluntly in other words, this so-called “Real Life/world” sometimes (or often?) doesn’t seem to allow much creativity, imaginations, and high-sensitive feelings.
It can in fact only requires you to be the aggressive, smooth-talking, and most importantly business/money/profit-driven or oriented.
So for the creative or ‘feeling’ type of persons/individuals, it can really seem like a hell lot of dull, bland, boring, “same ol’ same ol” stuff keep REPEATING from a day to another day, which can really at most extreme drives […]

11/24/2010 2 comments

I dont know what to do…

by lostmaria 11/22/2010

written by lostmaria

Things have changed for me, but i’m still not quite happy.
I still come home everyday from school wishing i was dead.
I’m tired of things. I feel like in need of a shake up.
Right now I’m just counting down the days till i move out. but im not sure if i cant wait like 4 more years. The only thing thats holding me back is my girlfriend. If she were to leave me im not sure what i’m going to do. The only thing that made me happy will be gone. And as much as i want to be an artist it’s […]

11/22/2010 3 comments

Run Away…

by KlashingKamille 11/20/2010

written by KlashingKamille

I hate my parents. No, Im dissapointed in their lack of support. They blame me for everything, my own twin sister blames me for everything. My dad calls me ugly, fat, and hits me. My mom calls me fat too, but goes to the extent of not feeding me. She doesnt just hit me like my dad, she beats me when she sees me cutting.
My sister is a selfish fat pig. If she doesnt get enough attention from ‘Daddy’, she cuts herself, throws a tantrum, or blames me, and accuses me. Did i mention she’s 14?
I just want to catch a Greyhound, or […]

11/20/2010 7 comments

Emptiness

by KlashingKamille 11/18/2010

written by KlashingKamille

I feel ridiculous, having searched for a place to share my innermost feelings and thoughts of suicide…
I’m 14 years old, and have horrid self-esteem/confidence issues. I find myself repulsive, but yearn for love. I get no support from my family, not even my twin sister who hates me for getting attention i dont want. I go to a psychologist who tells me to go to school.
Did i mention i sort of dropped out, except i go every once in a while after my parents beat me.
I hurt so badly, over nothing. I have a house, food in my cupboards, clothes, im not […]

11/18/2010 6 comments

It’s Not a Plea, it’s a Legacy.

by marine105 11/17/2010

written by marine105

It’s time.
I ran my fingertips over the grooves of the gun, letting them fall past the slide and wooden grip before they reached the hollow magazine slot. Tracing my fingers around the hollow space, I stare at the weak sheen gracefully arcing its way across the metal, reflected by a single lit bulb hanging from the ceiling of the basement. I set the gun on the floor with a dull hollow thud as it contacted the hard wood floor. I reached forward and picked up a single 9mm bullet, feeding it into the top of the magazine with a satisfying ‘click.’
I think of […]

11/17/2010 7 comments

Took Sick To Earn a Living But Not Enough To Die

by Chrysophase2003 11/16/2010

written by Chrysophase2003

As always, it’s a fight between putting up the bluff tough guy appearance and being honest with my feelings. Outwardly, I’m a 6’6″, 300 lb ex-bouncer with plenty of experience with armed attackers. Inwardly, I’m still the scared 9 year old cowering in the corner. But I’m getting ahead of myself, giving the wrong impression entirely and going in two many directions at once. Seems thatâ€™s my way.

Let me start again. I was diagnosed with a fractured personality disorder a while back. I can thank my degree in Psychology which hangs unused on the wall to fill in the blanks the cheap psych profiler missed. […]

11/16/2010 12 comments

I want help.

by lostmaria 11/13/2010

written by lostmaria

i feel lost , lonely, worthless, and like attempting suicide. but i want help.

11/13/2010 5 comments

So, what is this Life really all about (a new perspective that might helps)

by niki 11/8/2010

written by niki

So by now, I’m sure many (if not all) of you must have been wondering: with all these shits and fuck-ups happening in my life, what is then really the Purpose of my Life?? And I mean, fuck, what is Life really all about??
(it’s funny, strange, and yet still an unexplored *mystery* in itself of why we humans can at one point always seem to ask about this ‘big’ question, especially when we’re in our lowest point in Life. It makes you think & ponder deeply, despite that “Life goes on”).

How about this: Life on this Planet (& Universe, for that matter) is only […]

11/8/2010 6 comments

See you Monday…

by Butterfly_wing 11/5/2010

written by Butterfly_wing

I’ve been suicidal since I was 11 and now at 19 I am determined to do it propaly in February I had a break down where I nearly went onto the wards and after I recovered I thought that maybe there was a point to life. It was like somebody brought out a blank page and said I could do anything! But these last few weeks when I have restarted school, moved out from a difficult home situation and applied to good universitys I have felt rubbish again. I ought to be feeling better. My teacher’s have been so supportive and have really helped […]

11/5/2010 6 comments

Trivial

by marine105 10/31/2010

written by marine105

everything seems trivial. My job, my life, my relationships, I feel like it’s all meaningless and trivial. I’m an excellent faker, at enjoying myself and being happy. What I really want to do is go and slit my wrists open again, hurt myself, end this empty life that I know isn’t going anywhere joyful. A philosopher once said “happiness is a small desk with a very large waste basket.” who the hell wants to live like that? Not me. I don’t care if most religions say my ass will burn in hell for eternity, I just want the fuck out of this place.
Which brings […]

10/31/2010 2 comments

Break the cycle

by marine105 10/27/2010

written by marine105

Kill me.
Kill me now, cut deep into my veins and bleed me until there’s nothing left
Nothing of me in this world
This wretched, hard, horrid place
Moving from mishap to mishap
never stopping
never breaking the cycle
I must get free of this cycle
The cycle bound by the chains of mortality
The only way to get out
to break free of my mortality
but the reason to get out?
to make life better.
STOP!
what is this?
this world? full of paradox and irony
the universe seems to cackle at every one of the informed
bringing them down further and further
there […]

10/27/2010 0 comment

Humanity, Reality, and Hope

by niki 10/26/2010

written by niki

“In a world of inhumane reality, it is the only humane sanctuary left. That is dream” ~ Paprika (a 2006 sci-fi anime)

Reality is fucking harsh.
We, as pure normal human beings, would certainly want to get better in Life, and always seem to have HOPE (without Hope, we might as well not live, ‘cuz we would just be simply *existing*, a madness soulless shell indeed!).

But ‘unfortunately’ (though this word itself is arguable), REALITY just simply IS. It’s harsh, ‘cold’, in the context that it simply doesn’t *care* much of whether we will cry, or wail, or scream our voices to the sky,..Reality will simply be […]

10/26/2010 3 comments

I Can’t Escape

by schatten84 10/25/2010

written by schatten84

this is gonna take awhile… I can’t escape my past, and yet I’m terrified of my future. I suffered through 16 years of a severely abusive childhood, ending in my father committing suicide in 2000; it left me with a paralyzing fear of abandonment, making it next to impossible for me to connect with anyone. I met the girl that I would marry in march of 2000, just 2 weeks before my father died; we just had our first child in February of this year – and here’s where the future comes into play. I’ve been subconsciously pushing away from my wife for the last […]

10/25/2010 1 comment

for those of you who are struggling with your current damn society or country or government

by niki 10/23/2010

written by niki

I know it’s probably easier said than done,
but lately, after seeing similar threads all seem to pointing especially towards the fucking corrupt unright inhumane things U.S government and “the feds” etc seem to do to some of you here that literallyÂ make u almost gone insane and losing ur humanity quality, I feel like want to say: screw U.S.
ur life doesn’t have to be fixated in that one damn country that seems to extort innocent good people nowadays. I say fuck it, if it’s really being that greedy wolves predating and sucking out every bit of ur money. You deserve better.

I say, gather […]

10/23/2010 2 comments

The Smiths, Asleep…

by Shelly 10/18/2010

written by Shelly

A beautiful song by The Smiths. This is one of my all time favorite songs about suicide and wanting to die. I love it as it’s one of the handful of non metal songs about the subject so isn’t sensationalist but alot more reflective, thoughtful and melancholy and as such is far more powerful! So please enjoy it…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CGIii_eTOk&feature=fvwrel

10/18/2010 8 comments

Obligated to continue

by Firepith 10/14/2010

written by Firepith

I feel trapped here by the people who care about me. I dislike causing pain to others, even if they will die and forget all about it. Perhaps that is irrational?

So I go through the motions of life. I can’t see how this is preferable to me being dead, except for that everyone isn’t crying about it, and my household has an income. (Though were I dead, I wouldn’t have the capacity to give a crap anymore)

I see my future as hopeless. I have a son in kindergarten and another on the way in the spring. What am I to tell them? “Sons, life doesn’t […]

10/14/2010 3 comments

this so-called “real world” and humans

by niki 10/9/2010

written by niki

This so-called â€œreal-worldâ€ is too dull and uninspiring and even obnoxious to my very vivid imaginations and dreams.

Human beings -the Earth’s “oh-so-special” species- largely is stupid and moronic, not even that, but they’re also largely ignorant, and then escape to religions and shits like that for “feel good”, “everything is alright”. No it’s not, dumbasses. Until when you all want to play this obnoxious ignorance game? oh sure, ’till our planet and what’s actually really ESSENTIAL for Earth’s life is destroyed to ashes?Â then I pray for the End of the World to come fast, because I just fucking hate humanity and its obnoxiousness.
Everybody […]

10/9/2010 7 comments

im sick of living please help me.

by last_one_left 10/6/2010

written by last_one_left

im 14 and i tried slitting my wrists but it didnt work……..i even took a REALLY hot bath before i did and…well……yea didnt work. my moms a ***** she calls me names all the time and hits me, my dad raped me when i was 5 then left i have litterally no friends everyone calls me “sooty suicide” because of my large scars on my wrists, i just wanna die so i dont have to dream of all the horror and shitty-ass memories i had. my boyfriend of 3 months cheated on me, with my best friend…. im uglier than the child of rosie o’donnel […]

10/6/2010 5 comments

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