So i am in love. Â I must admit i never thought it will hit me so suddenly but i guess that it’s true when they say: ‘when you least expect it’
The sweetest person i have ever met. I am going to sound as a hopeless romantic but his kisses make me dizzy which is entirely true i can barely walk after he touches me. Â So when everything should fit in its place my awkward paranoia jumps out of nowhere. I have never been really close to somebody like this and i am constatly thinking about bad things. I have this idea that something bad […]
Hey, how are you?
I know I have probably stuffed everything up between us but I didn’t know who else to talk to. No one understands me. I feel like letting you go was probably a bad idea but I know it was for the best. I’m gunna be honest here I just don’t think you were as into it as I was, and thats okay. But I really hope we can be friends.
I have no one to talk to. And today has been really bad. I stayed home from school and I was just thinking and thinking about Sam about you about everything […]
My life is hell. Â No, I’m not your average guy, and no I’m not looking for attention. Â I’m considering suicide. Â I love my kids, so I have found a way to get through today. Â My wife is driving me insane. Â We fight.. Â dirty.. Â I say things I know hurt her she says things to hurt me, wow how human.. Â however, Â I recant my mean and thoughtless words, and back up my recant with actions. Â I show her what I said is not true. Â On good days I chase her like a school boy and his first crush.. Â I love her madly.. Â she never recants. […]
It’s been a tough few months for me lately.
Some days i hide it well, others, not so much.
Some days I am sat on my own in my bedroom and I feel so low I have no idea where to go or what to do.
I consider whether my next breath is worth taking dozens of times a day.
Some nights i go to sleep and admit to myself that not waking up; well it wouldn’t be so bad.
Sometimes i will try to talk family or friends but they are always seeming so happy that I don’t want to spoil their day so I […]
I need something to keep me going, because anymore I see no point in living. Everyone always meets someone better than me, then I become nonexistent. I’m use to it, I don’t blame anyone, I only blame myself for not being good enough. And yes, I know that people leave our lives all the time but why is it that no one seems to stay in my life? For once, I’d like to feel wanted/needed. But that probably won’t happen, I’ll kill myself long before that day comes.
It’s strange…
When you have never met, or even spoken to a person…yet you feel like on some level you already know them.
It may be you feel that way because of things that someone tells you about them,
or it may be because in a way you know what they are going through.
You know them through someone else’s correspondence with them,
because you try to reassure the person that loves this stranger you feel you know.
You feel helpless…because you wish you could tell that person how much they are loved by someone, yet you can’t.
You feel useless because with all the […]
I have been waiting at the bus stop of a very long time now, waiting for my bus to come.. the assurance that I CAN get on a bus when ever I want without much Baggage gives me some kind of relief.
This is basically how my day goes. I don’t really get sound sleep during the night, its pretty much disturbed and when ever I wake up in between, during that little time when your sleep gets disturbed and you fall back asleep, I could only think about CTB.
when I wake up in the morning I am pretty sure that today is the day, an […]
I am sitting here with a cup of water, a pill bottle of 28 mirtazaphine sleeping pills. Each is 15mg, totaling to 420mg. I am contemplating whether or not I should kill my self, and I’m pretty sure I’m gunna end up doing it in an hour or so. I’ve been thinking things over the past few nights, and I am not in a bad family environment or bullied or anything. I’ve destroyed my relationship with my parents, my mom is all I really care about. My step dad is not at all like me, he adopted me, but we have nothing in common. I […]
My parents don’t want me. I hear them talk about how i was a mistake. They talk about it when they think i am sleeping. But im not. I hear them talk about it. After a while, i just decided to distance myself away from them. I go to school and i don’t want to leave. I come home and stay in my room. I am not wanted here. I think to my self every day. I think that one day, i will have the balls to either run away or just commit suicide. I haven’t decided yet. Im still debating. I have a lot […]
I’m sorry Anais
Hi, I just wanted to say that ever since my soul mates suicide I have found life meaningless and refuse to get close to anyone else. I spend as much time alone as possible and wish I never woke up everyday. I’m usually ok once I get going but the mornings are torture. I truly feel that all I do is work hard and then go out partying and get wasted to kill the pain. Its hard to accept when you know you long for death but just on’t quite have the conviction to do it yet. I don’t want to put my family through […]
I feel increasingly alone, I have some friends, not that I don’t have anything , but this gap is unexplained this existing and sinks me.
these were my first cuts, I never thought about suicide or something so far
I 
                                     I want death
Its been a year since I last posted on this announcing my final day on this god forsaken earth. But as you can see it didn’t go quiet as to plan. I took a large dosage of mixed pills, slit my wrists in a cold bath and awaiting my end, only to wake up a few days later in hospital.
That was a year and 2 days ago now. Surely I should have overcome all of it, but the same problems have snuck up to me and more. When I wrote on this first I was nothing but a teenage wreck, living in the bit of […]
I hope that this will help to open minds, save lives and will help other families from the struggles that we have had to endure. Â Thank you for watching.
Link To Website With Book Talk Click Here
im so fucking ugly. i want to die.
My high school orientation was yesterday. I’ve never been so afraid!! In elementary school there were only 60 students in my grade but, then I go to orientation with over 400 students my age. Holy shit. I’ve never felt so intimidated. Looking at all the pretty girls made me feel even more ugly and looking at all the attractive guys made me feel even more pathetic. Why am I so afraid of what people will think of me? School hasn’t even started yet and I’m already crying and freaking out. I just want to kill myself so that when I do eventually commit suicide, I […]
So recently I found a new girlfriend and she’s made me see things in a new perspective. She’s made me see my problem. My past haunts me and is the reason why I’m broken and beyond repair. I’m trying to let it go. I’m trying to be free, but I can’t…
Some days are just easier than others…
What I’m confused about is if I should go on with my planned suicide.
Some days I feel like I shouldn’t because there’s a life to live now, but other days I feel like going through with it at the moment. What disappoints me is that the sad days are […]
You can question yourself how many people that post here every day really want to kill themselves. My guess is not a lot, since most of these posts seems to be a cry for help rather than a way or a method. I’m not trying to say that the pain of being suicidal isn’t bad and I’m also against promoting suicide like it’s the last resort. But I did expect more from this website. Just my opinion
Driving home last night from a casual party with old friends, I had to laugh. What would they say if they found out that I, the charming, funny, positive guy who was so full of life, slammed his car into a bridge overpass at 82 mph because he couldn’t take the pain of life a minute longer?
In the car at 3 am with no other soul as far as I could see, I shouted as loud as I can, until my voice blew out and there was just a dry rasp left in my throat. It didnt do a damn of good. I pounded the […]
It all started on the 25/08/13,
I had just gotten home from drama eisteddfods, which I had been placing in really well and winning majority, my weekend was going great, I also for once had a boy that was interested in me! I know can you believe it me!. When I got home I started talking to that boy and he was having a hard time with his depression and I was helping him. And then it happened. I logged onto Facebook and I see a post in a secret group that I’m in, (my acting class) and it says that Sam Cannon has […]