im a 24 year old college student and I think about killing myself a lot and I don’t want to think about that but i cant help it. I can honestly say with each day that goes by my will to live is less, and I think about killing myself more. I think about it a lot, especially right after I wake up and right before I fall asleep, but now recently these thoughts are becoming increasingly more abundant during the day as well. im constantly depressed life seems to be meaningless, hopeless, and even worst I feel so damn empty. I have zero motivation […]
Tag:
Suicide
I wanted to make my username match me. So I made it into my goal. To be gone. I’m really sorry for all that’s happened, all the people I have burdened, all the nights my brother said he stayed up because he was worried about me. And I’m sorry that I trusted humanity. That I thought things could get better. For some people maybe they just can’t and they never will. My brother thinks that he can change my fate. He told me he has a plan to change my fate after I proclaimed that I was destined to commit suicide. I can’t let myself […]
therapy sessions are getting heavy. considering hypnosis to look into possible abuse. i have been using pot to numb myself-trying to escape from myself. thinking gets me in trouble-the more i think the more i believe the abuse happened. it is scary to believe. opening pandora’s box. i don’t know if i am strong enough to handle what comes out of this. i think about suicide a lot. thinking about other means to an end. the gun option would require a little work. but there are other possibilities within easy reach. there is this feeling of impending doom i can’t seem to shake. been having […]
I have been on medication (viibryd) for 6 weeks. doc says it will help. He also gave me clonopin for anxiety at work. I am 42 divorced, no kids, just a great dog who was thrown from a car window and i rescued him. I will not committ suicide and leave my dog. no one would care if i die, i come from a “traditional italian family” your not supposed to have depression, you are supposed to “snap out of it and smile” well i cant. and lord knows i’ve tried and tried and tried. I feel now that since i’ve been with this job […]
I’m a fourteen year old girl and I’m just not happy with my life right now. I have been selfharming for little over a year now on and off and some days I just want to commit suicide. My parents are going through a rough patch and I doubt they’ll make it through. I feel like I fail at everything I do. I have amazing friends who try to help but they don’t really understand. They tell me how much they’d miss me but I know that in a few years no one will know who I am. That doesn’t really bother me but I […]
I am 19 and I’ve been cutting myself since I was 15. I cut on my legs so that no one will see them. I do it to distract myself from the sadness and emptiness and the constant thought of suicide. I feel like I’m not going to amount to anything, not going to do anything great with my life and be a complete failure. I’ve kept it a secret all this time. This is my first year in college and one of my new friends found out what I’ve been doing. She’s been tring to get me to stop but she doesn’t know what see’s doing. She […]
Hi everyone.
My name is Teresa, and I am a Depressed teen….
Oh GAWD.. did i really just say that. . . . ok let me start over… let me be real with you guys… and girls.
….
Hi, I’m Teresa. I am 17 years old. My birthday is April 4th. And I can promise you i won’t live past the age of 18.
I bet you all are curious why. I bet you all already know the reason. so does it really have to be said out loud? I think not.
lets continue.
My life sucks. I hate starting out so cliche. but this is one way to start that you […]
Sometimes, i just need somebody to talk to. Nobody is really there for me. I think it’s because when i get bullied, they dont want to be my friend or stick up for me, so they dont get bullied. I have to go through it everyday. Walking to school, in school, at lunch, walking home. and on the internet. I dont know why people dont like me. I guess its just something wrong with me. I dont know. I dont really have any reason of living. I constantly think of suicide. I have been since the sixth grade. Im in 9th grade now. I just […]
I know I haven’t posted in a while… But it’s because I’ve been doing better. The reason I’m back is because I can’t just leave. I was put through this site for a reason, and I believe that as much as it was to help me, I have to try to help the others on here.
So. Suicide tape.
I have been taping my wrists, ankles, and waist for the past few weeks. Like actually taping off the areas I like to cut. I use hockey stick tape, or sports tape because its more comfortable and I can write on it like paper. It also doesn’t attract […]
I’ve just accepted that I will never be the same, not that I was ever right to begin with. I know everyone feels like that. I know this will change. I know everyone is very “sympatheticâ€. I also know, none of this changes how I feel. It doesn’t make me feel better that everyone else feels like shit too- it makes me feel hopeless. It doesn’t make me feel better that you think this will change- it’s been eight years so excuse me if I’m not trusting your psychic powers to foresee my future. I know you care and “are there†for me- well of […]
I’ve been obessed with suicide and death since before my teenage years
written by Thebutteryflyeffect
Mostly started at 9 I truly dont want this life never did.
It’s fine
I’m fine.
everything is fucking perfect.
no.
wait.
that’s a lie.
it isn’t.
and it won’t be.
“comon you idiot, smile. fake it! fake it!”
shut up coscience.
Look, pick your damn head up.
look in his eyes.
comon!
look!
jackie!
“I can’t…”
“he’s crying.”
“i’m dead…finally.”
he’s crying.
no, he’s laughing.
they all are.
they all are happy.
she’s dead, she’s dead, out her ankle she bled yay yay she’s dead.
they chant.
fucking cunts.
how am I seeing this.
my death.
holy fuck am I dead.
wake up.
wake up.
wake up.
wake up.
wake up.
shut up.
no.
I’m fine…
It’s okay…
Do me a favor. Right now, wherever you are, get up, look in a mirror, a window reflection, even a spoon would work! Just take a look at yourself. I don’t care if you’re about to drop from the rope, ready to fall asleep after you downed hundreds of whatever pill, or if you’re just sitting in bed silently killing yourself. Get up, look at yourself and smile. Ask yourself, do you remember them? Do you remember happy? Sometimes, I don’t. Sometimes, I look at the stranger staring back at me and say “How do you know me?”
Tonight, I didn’t know the stranger. But the stranger […]
I had a pretty good weekend and im staring to fell better. But the problem is everywhere I turn my past comes back to haunt me. Everyone around me is doin drugs and drinking, im finally trying to get clean but its hard. But ill keep soldiering on. I watched a documentry about suicide tonight and I dont think I could put my friends and family through that hurt. Though I might be in a better place the people I leave behind will have to deal with that grief for the rest of there life. Im so young I have a lifetime to live, I realized this […]
There is always a possibility that things could get better,
STOP saying this, there is also a possibility things could get worst!
You feel this way now, but tomorrow you might feel diffrent.
NO I might have the courage for this today while tomorrow I FEEL the exact same way and you just screwed up my opening
I understand what your going through.
Actually you dont, see we are two diffrent people with diffrent make up, what might be a little to you might be huge in my eyes
You dont want to do this.
Dont try to read my mind, cause your wrong!
There are […]
Hey, my name is Jack.
today has been a pretty shit day, just like every other day I guess. In year 7 is when it all started, my dad stopped being my dad.
Dad was working in the Air Force and previously worked in the navy for years, so he is a respectable man. Although while i was in year 7, he got discharged from the air force for injuring his knee and neck. Now I’m 18, I finished school last year, I hated school. I hated the teacher, I hated the education, i hated the school in general. Everyone is so stupid, i honestly felt like one of the smartest people in the […]
Everyone deserves a second chance right? You’re wrong. I have never gotten a second chance or even a first chance. So why does it even matter? It doesn’t. Does it? I’m just not cut out for this world. I’m really not. I… don’t belong. No one really understands me, but no one knows my story as well as me though. I need to find my place in this world. I feel like i have to be somewhere else. I have no clue why I even post on this website no one really reads my boring trash. I’m a stranger in this world trying, searching, breathing. Just looking […]
yeah, so this is the first time im posting something on this site, 3 weeks ago, my friend Steve suicided in the cafeteria, everyone saw it, blood on the wall behind him, gun on the ground, I stayed in the cafeteria for 3 hours, then a teacher told me to go and relax. Im moving in 3 days, my parents are not together anymore, it feels really bad, plus my dad told me it was my fault, and my mom told me I was ”retarded”.. She told this to me because when I told her that I need help, the first thing she told to […]
I don’t like my life. I don’t like the fact that there is a daily routine which I dont like, yet I am forced to follow because of society. I can see most people are not happy, and only pretend. I’m sick of fake smiles and all the judgement. School is very stressful, I hate it. The only reason I think of college is not to study, but to have a new beginning elsewhere, no school and no stress.Yet that life seems somewhat impossible. In school everyone “grows” intellectually, yet our being is deteriorating. My suicide thoughts lately have been very strong. There was […]
MY most recent attempt to enter into a relationship with someone ended in bitter failure. As have the last 13 attempts I’ve made in the past few years. I’m 19 years old, have only one friend (that I barely talk to), and am still a virgin.
I am going no where in my life. I’ve never had a job, and likely won’t anytime soon. I’m far too lazy and pathetic to actually accomplish anything. What makes it worse is that I had such high hopes for myself when I was in high school. As I look around my university I notice people who are much more […]