I find some sick satisfaction in judging others. I always compete. I always need to be better than anyone else. I always fail to be. I’m so negative. I loathe myself. My body is so hairy, even as a female, because I have PCOS and Hirsutism. My stomach is HUGE even though I lost 30lbs (I went from 140 to 110 last year but I look 150. I’m 5ft 3). My wardrobe is that of a 5th grader. I can’t afford anything new. I’m always afraid I’m going to be homeless. I have been dating a guy for 7 years who is abusive in all […]
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support
Well I feel today is the day I end my life. I just got rid of a person out of my life who was there but wasn’t much anymore. I made a promise awhile ago that I wouldn’t do anything to myself. Well I got rid of her out of my life that way she wouldn’t blame herself for this. So I feel it’s time I end it today. Thank you everyone for all the help and support
3 failed over dose attempts, i tried again last night,
just feel so empty and lost,
without my only support (my nan)
who passed away about a year ago
now the time is nearing and its getting me down
having arguments with people whom i care about just adds to the pile of crap which seems to be my life.
Ever wonder if it’s so hard to get rid of depression because maybe that’s just who you are?
I know I have constant inner dialogue with my depressed self trying to be rational and prevent the reactive sabotage I know is inevitably coming.
If I have been this way my entire life why it would reasonable to think I am going to wake up one day and feel different.
It’s not for lack of trying. I have tried meds, counseling, exercise, support groups, going out alone to network, traveling alone since I could wait forever for a travel buddy to turn up. I really put myself out there.
I […]
I have an old friend who deals with suicidal thoughts on occasion. He told me today he was going to kill himself over the weekend but postponed until Wednesday. I know he has tried before so I have every reason to believe him. He said he tells me because I won’t judge and suffer from the same thoughts and failed attempts. Granted I never give anyone a “warning” to put them in a position to act or have to make that decision. I agree it’s a personal decision but when you bring other people into the mix the dynamic changes. So what do I do? […]
So I’ve suspected what was coming for a few weeks and had plenty of time to contemplate what would happen. My love finally told me last night she wasn’t coming home to me and that she needed a divorce. Unfortunately she’s halfway around the world “defending our country” and I’m left home keeping her house ready for her for the next couple months. Of course when she gets back I’ll need to leave my life behind. My family, house, sanity becomes hers. She’s not angry and has been talking to me about getting help but it doesn’t help. I’m currently in therapy and on meds […]
I’m off with the world, things have gotten so much worse in a couple of days; my remedy – the last working medicine gives me no avail anymore. Chest pains and the difficulty to breathe is too much. Have to get to my car and end it in a matter of days.
Why does this unjustified destiny come across for someone who has no reasonable desire to kill himself otherwise than that of the irreversible condition – and a deadly one of course. This will be hard on my family, but I’ve ruined almost every relationship beforehand already – love and hate for all, I believe […]
Married, merely just around 5 months ago.. I am kinda unsettled, doesn’t know driving a car much, and although I am optimistic, but sometimes I do realize that it’s been long since I smiled from heart, and this causes me a feeling of helplessness and suicidal tendency.
Till around 1 month of marriage, it was going smooth and happily, but after that, I did some mistakes, and those caused some problems in my married life. I love my wife, but she says she has less attachment towards me, my family or even my city. She is suffering from depression and many times she suffers from pain, […]
I’ve been depressed for about five years. I’m now in high school about (if) to go into the 11th grade this September. I’m pretty much at the end of my rope when it boils down to getting support. The times I have told people about my suicidal thoughts, I get in response, “That’s messed up…” “I know how you feel…” (Mind you these responses are coming from people who are just giving out a response because in reality they really don’t know how I feel.) They don’t know how it feels like to get limbs sprained and be laughed at, with literally no support out […]
As a mmo gamer I find myself tragically stuck in the role of tank. I can’t help but feel life beats on me a little more than others. It is selfish to think that way, because everyone is fighting their own battles, playing their own parts, but sadly I think I am just to perfectly fitted to this part. My nature is to protect, to take the first hit, the last, and each one in between. I feel like I care far too much to fit in properly in this day and age. The only thing I want is to help people smile, and to […]
Hello all… I am going to keep my name out of this,but I’m a hoosier, i was bullied throughout school and life in general it hasn’t really changed as an adult either… My family doesn’t care about my problems… They won’t even listen to them because their worried about the drug addicts… Maybe they would help me if I started doing heroin like my brother and uncle, but I don’t want to do such things… My wife tells me I’m always a dick anymore but doesn’t want to listen to my problems she doesn’t seem to care that I’ve started sleeping on the couch since […]
I was just wondering what people’s thoughts are on having depression and a partner’s appropriate response to it? I get that different people have difference experiences, backgrounds, beliefs etc….
But a recurring theme in my life at the moment is that when someone gets low, or diagnosed, or suicidal, their partner ups and leaves without a word. The only explanation they give is because they cant handle the situation. This happened to me after two weeks of me telling him I was suicidal; it took him only that long to run. A similar thing happened to my sister.
Anyhow, I was just wondering about whether people […]
like the title says I’m tired of this life. I’m 37 years old. I’m drowning in debt. I’ve lost my career. I used to be a teacher and really good teacher. One day I asked sleepy students to stand. He stood I moved the chair away from him and he immediately sat back down and fell. My assistant said I pulled the chair out from underneath him. I was charged with assault on a child under 12. The child doesn’t speak English and his account the story doesn’t match mine or my assistant’s account of the story. I was decorated teacher and my career is […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0RNp0ShHsU
While no one will ever exceed the excellence of the original by Simon and Garfunkle, and indeed, some of the younger members here may have never heard of them, this rendition by Josh Groban and Michael Knight is pretty special.
I hope this song can be a message of support for my fellow sufferers here at SP. My dear mother died one year ago today. I was her companion/caregiver for the last 2 years of her life. Today, I miss her so much and my heart is heavy.
Grace and peace to you all, my friends.
And as I asked of you all before….Please, try to stay alive.
Jay […]
I am in a pretty rough spot here. I’m only 16, but every aspect of my life I’m starting to hate. My family doesn’t hate me but it is apparent my parents don’t have a great opinion of me as I complain a lot. It’s understandable, they have problems too but I don’t know who to turn to. My mom has diabetes and I take care of her most of the time during the day. She lets her sugar level go very low and becomes incoherent sometimes. But she isn’t grateful for it and I pretty much hate her, for many more reasons than one. […]
I never knew any good. abuse from birth. Physically, menilly, sexually, and verbally. Living in poverty getting fucked by my dad and abused by my mom. Than my brother too. No love and no support. No friends no family. And the foster care system was no differnt. Abusse, neglect, and being used. I ran away at 12 and started prostituting to support myself. I wanted to make something for myself, to become something. I have been through things you couldn’t amagen. Things that should have killed me. But I’m hear and suffer every minuet of every day. I contiplate subside constantly. What do I […]
i made a post to my FB a while ago. I’m sharing it here now because i think it’s a means of motivation in some way.
“it’s time I just come out and say the obvious for those who may or may not have gotten the hint just yet.
I’m battling orthorexia. with anorexic tendencies.
I weigh, as of last .. maybe two weeks ago (the bathroom scale has been relocated and its probably for the best.) a solid 100 pounds.
I promise you that has gone down and I just dont know the exact number now.
one hundred pounds.
my problem is finding balance.
and this week, I […]
I’ve only been on this site for one day and I’ve already talked to so many wonderful helpful people who are great support systems to me and now I want to return the favor
If ANY Of you need help or just someone to talk to I’m here for you. And I’m available anytime.
Tumblr: I-love-what-you-hate.tumblr.com
Email: Rachel_dunk01@hotmail.com
And if you want to text me email or message me on tumblr for my number
Xoxo
so I am 5 weeks pregnant, and anyone who has followed my posts know what a big deal it is for me to  have a baby, back in 2012 i had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and that tore me appart. I nearly killed myself. Now i have a chance to be a mother again, my boyfriend and I even planned this baby, but he also knows i am at high risk pregnancy loss  and i suffer with cronic anxiety. I also have a tilted uterus too witch is harder for me to carry a child. . as i said before people whom have follow […]
Over the course of my short 26 years of life, I have attempted suicide on no less than 8 occasions.
From the age of 11, I was bullied at school, tormented and tortured by grown men who’d wait for me after school and not to mention the troubles I was working through at home and struggling to admit the fact that I am gay, even to myself.
All of this plus a few other reasons landed me in therapy.
From the age of 11 onwards I saw one psychotherapist after another and I’ve been on so many medications that it’s hard to be certain of the exact number. […]