I truly do not understand the point of my life.. for a long time now I haven’t been able to picture a future. Like I don’t have one, like I’m meant to die young. But I just recently found out that that is actually a symptom of my ptsd. Which was kind of disappointing because it doesn’t change the fact that I still don’t see my living past a few years and honestly I’d rather not. I don’t want to live anymore. I’ve been feeling like that for years and the more time goes on the more intense it feels. I do not see a […]
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The knife cuts deep. Blood starts to rush out. He doesn’t know why he’s doing it, he just knows that the pain feels oh so good. It makes him feel alive. It helps him know that he hasn’t gone completely numb. That some parts of him still have feeling left long after its left everywhere else.
Not that it matters anymore.
This probably wasn’t the best time or place for it, but he didn’t feel like there was a time or place for anything anymore. Everyone else had fell asleep a long time ago, and his dad had left for work, so he’d been left to himself. […]
i miss how you would kiss me. i miss you being apart of my family. i miss seeing you everyday and holding your hand. being with was the most amazing feeling ever. i treated you wrong and i wasnt a good girlfriend. im sorry. i see that your happy now with your new girl. i wish it was me. i always wait to recieve a text message from you. your on my mind all the time. i know i messed up and its all my fault. i ruined our relationship and i regret it so much. i miss calling you my baby and being yours. […]
My housemate of 2 years and friend of 10 shot and killed himself in May of this year (2012). Â I was downstairs and had texted him to ask if he wanted some scrambled eggs I was making. Â I heard him walking around, but he never answered my text. Â Later, afterward, I looked at his phone and I saw my text message had been read. Â He knew I was up, he knew I was home. Â Twelve minutes after I sent the text I heard a sound like a box had been dropped on the floor. Â For some reason I noted the time. Â This sound was loud […]
My story is a long one, one I don’t have time to write about completely…
About a year and a half ago, I decided to kill myself. I had a mean, selfish, manipulative girlfriend who always accused me of cheating, cheated on me, called me a “disappointment,” threatened to leave me if I ever told a friend or family member about what she was doing, and finally dumped me via a text message. I had a “friend” who tried to take advantage of her cheating to make her break up with me so he could date her instead. He in turn had a friend laughing at […]
Hi, I’m Tasha Jenay Thomas. And I’m a freshman in high school. School this year is a big change for me. I have friends… Just not in my class. There’s this girl who torture’s me with her mean looks and her mean doing’s. She talks crap behind my back like an immature person would do. She plays varsity on the volleyball team and she has a lot of friends. She thinks everyone likes her which everyone hates her. She always has to get the other girls to gang up on me and try to put me down. There’s this other girl who just moved here […]
I got out of bed earlier, made and poured myself a hot cup of tea.
As I stirred my tea gently and slowly, my mind began to percieve it as a pattern..sort of a beat.
Swoosh..swoosh..swoosh..swoosh..
Words began to play like a song in my head..in a really soft high-pitched voice
Sharp knives and blood
Like sugar and tea
Sweetly come together to comfort me
End the suffering now
turn out the lights
Death is not so bad
Take your life
Take your life
Take your life
Take your worthless life
This was replayed twice until I was jolted out of the lullaby by the sound my phone […]
I dont cry. I really dont. I didnt cry when my cousin spread rumors about me, when the girls would push me down stairs and the boys would slam me against lockers, when someone who i thought was a friend back stabbed me, when someone who used to be my friend literally spit in my face, when nobody cared. I only cry for 2 things: the death of a loved one and romantic/sad movies(yeah i know dumb reason to cry but hey im human). I used to cry myself to sleep every night when i was younger but i promised myself never again. I refused […]
just a few days ago i came very close to killing myself… ive been in some very dark places lately, my boyfriend broke up with me over text message and ive been very broken down and in a lot of pain lately…its very hard fro me and with my depression and suicide problems i had enough going on so one night i just lost it. my best frienf taylor was at my house to talk me out of it. ive had so much going on i just didnt see the point in living anymore…al i wanted to do was die, go to sleep and never […]
You left me, James. Not even a text or a message to say you were ending it. I know I wasn’t the best friend I could have been… should have been… But I wish you’d at least tried. I would have tried to help, even though I was so far away. Maybe I could have talked you out of it for a little while… maybe it would have been long enough for you to realize that maybe suicide wasn’t the thing for you. You could have had so much.
I feel so selfish, sitting here and thinking as I write this, that maybe all the […]
i always write here when i feeling some type of way, and right now i do.
I hate the fact that i think about suicide 24/7. when i do something bad, when someone yells at me, when my parent argue, when i get bad grades, when i look at myself in the mirror, when im standing next to my best friend, when people are starring at me, anything. I really feel like im going to commit suicide on march 31st. Â I have a gut feeling i am, im just so really ready to die. im so ready for all of this to just stop, im not […]
Last week my husband came to see me so that we could talk. Well he came back the next day and then stayed the nite on friday nite. He had told me we were sole mates and would be together for the rest of our lives. I had to work on saturday so he went to help his mother with yard work. He sent me a text message staing he would be to my house after i got off work at 6. He then sent another text message about two hours later that asked me if i would be upset if he didnt come over […]