I am not a coward. This is me drowning my breath, in a vast ocean of red dead redemption. I’m cut from the monstrosity of a soul, and I have spared none, in violating its ability to resist this temptation. Patience, while I stimulate a selfish behavior for once. This is not a suicide note, I’m not that dramatic. When I decide to stain the sheets with anguish, it will be the most peaceful and quiet release. Like the terrible silence of an antic gun. Like […]
Im an angry person at 22 i don’t need a boyfriend or a kid anytime ever till my rage is under control.yet everyday i long for those things or just something I can have and feel this sense of belonging or accomplishment.right now my sisters and brothers are in college but i cant stay a week before dropping out so ive given up.my love life is non existent and i dont know if ill ever have one cause ill eventually pass on if not from suicide then from the damage of failed suicide so thats out.my sister kindly told me over the phone that my […]
I’d gone almost sixty days since my last suicidal thought. My court date last week changed all of that and suicide is again heavy on my mind. Now I am faced with the prospect of my future self being happier than my current self. Which do I believe. I don’t see happiness in the future.
It really says something when thoughts about life and the future makes you want to cringe, but when it comes to thoughts of death or sleeping for an eternity make you smile 🙂 .
I don’t need a reason to kill myself. I need a reason not to kill myself. I have self harmed and suffered from severe depression for around 4 months now, and this was diagnosed 2 months ago. I hate everything and everyone and every day is a depressed numb hellhole. I have no hope for the future and no motivation to do anything anymore. I am failing in school as a result and this makes me even sadder. I am losing friends and all hope. Last month I came very close to committing suicide with a train and if I had alcohol I surely would […]
I apologize for my rambling. It probably goes from rambling thought to another.
I don’t remember being happy or a least happy for long. Although, I remember when I fell in love with someone, I was very ecstatic. However as time moved one, this romantic interest I have with a friend I loved dearly proved to be unfruitful. It turns out, it was a pretty much a lie. I watched her flirt with me while she would officially have relationship another guy (a boyfriend). I was like her dirty desire she would talk to on the phone. We would plan non-existent dates and vacations. She’s married […]
Dear anyone
I am an 18 year old guy and my life is shit for the last 10 years with no exaggeration. I am really fucking depressed and I keep everything inside me for a very long time but I found this site some time ago and I would like to write my story before I end my miserable life. I know many of you will get bored and close this page in the midway because it will be very long but I don’t care for anything anymore.
The problem is that I am just so fucking ugly. I have nothing on me to like […]
Im up late as usual in my room scared of the dark to sleep.
Everyday is such a waste, i do nothing but watch movies. Barely anything gives me pleasure, i feel loke crying im so depressed. I feel like life is just a coincidence and then when we die we die, its over, which makes me really sad and depressed like whats the point of carrying on till death.
Barely anything interests me im scared of people i have 1 friend that scared of talking to. I dont know how to explain it.
i just feel so Sad and lonely right now and i […]
When I breathe, each time i exhale i feel the weight of life pushing down and its hard to keep up..
Maybe I’m just not built as strong as other people.
I don’t know if I am built to feel, or if that’s just another dumb excuse.
Things are.. hard..
the past.. now.. and the future i don’t see.
Is this all really worth the fight.. ?
Is it all worth the suffering.
and now I feel light headed from the numbness.
the numbness in which this lingering. mother. fucking. depression. has brought upon me.
the emotion to feel numb after being stabbed so many, god damn times.
I am 26 years old, and I’m married to the woman of my dreams, my high school sweetheart.
We’ve been married almost 3 years now, we have two kids ages one, and seven.. I have had a series of experiences in my life that I suppose have slowly eaten away at my innocence and I’ve managed to lose grasp on the good within me.
I use to be a very happy individual.. I was rarely ever in a bad mood or sad, and of those rare times my negative mood was usually influenced by an external source, someone unhappy with my choices or actions, or […]
This is my first post here. I found this website when i was googleing on nebtual substitute. Thats where i am now. I know what i need to aquire, but it seems inpossible. So i look for the next best thing..
I have been down for the last 15y, and i have tried everything there is. It wont get better. Im diagnosed with a “personaltiy dissorder” so that means that no drugs on earth will ever cure me. Well, exept for one, the one that let me sleep forever.
I have 3 children and a girlfriend since 9y. Me, i am 29y.
But i dont feel anything special, […]
As I drift through life and year after year passes me by with out any real direction, happiness or acheivements, I feel like im watching a crap film but I cant switch it off no matter how hard that I want to. You can’t slow time but you can make the most of it, like a lot of people I know do, but I cant seem to do the same leaving me with a lifetime ‘what ifs’ or ‘what could of beens’. I hate where my life has been for so many years and I fear the future so I spend my life reminiscing a […]
i just wanna bawl my eyes out. No one will ever love me. How many anyone love me when i dont even love myself? This world is filled with so much pain, and sadness. It’s like you try to make things better but theres always some asshole bringing you down. I hope to live in a world where we all loved and care for each other. Not this counterfeit planet. There are just some days where i wanna do it, end it all. But i dont know what to do. I wanna die painlessly, so at least at my last breath i dont feel so […]
I realized that life is comprised of snapshots Which our children will look at one day and reflect upon with wonder.Never knowing, never seeing the internal chaos and outward rioting craziness that filled the days and nights, trying to suppress the void and make sense of the senseless emptiness that is living. They will never know, because by the time they have enter this world we have already moved on from our unsure footing to more stable ground, It will in turn be our job to try and teach them the rights and wrongs, and do our best to prevent them from making our same […]
Mom had decided to divorce dad right after my sister was born. Didn’t do it, went back and had me, that’s when the fights began. Okay, decided to enter schizophrenia and Dad was too desperate to see the future believing life was so much fun. At 27, with a painless method at hand, I realise they are both being held by their children from dying. So we never had parents. I feel like I’m holding them alive at gunpoint, not fair, since they’re vehemently against it, they don’t even want me to earn, although my not having a job adds to it. So since my […]
I tried to commit suicide 3 months ago. I survived. I hated the fact that I couldn’t get it right. Now 3 months later I am more excited about my life and the future than I have ever been before. I booked myself into a mental health institute for 2 weeks after my suicide attempt and I learned more than I can imagine about myself…and more importantly how to cope. My situation has worsened in the past 3 months yet I no longer feel the urge to end it all. I have a strong urge to survive and put my experience to good use.
As a futurist, i got to thinking last month – What if we passed a national law that would allow everyone who is alive today, to have there brains preserved by cryogenics upon death until science and technology advanced enough to not only bring us back but far enough into the future were suffering abolition is scientifically possible?
I say just the brain to save space and money. I believe that in the future, 3D printing like tech will advance enough to build an exact but better replica of your body around your brain. Along with your original brain, there will be your original memory, and implanted memories […]
I think I’m going to kill myself tonight… I don’t have anything I feel happy for. I feel miserable. I don’t have anything to live for. I’ve tried meds, therapy, hotlines, doctors, but here I am…
I just don’t wanna live anymore. Yes I regret so may things and I want to do a lot of things in the future but not at the cost of what I have to go through everyday, depression and suicidal tendencies. I regret not showing my parents the lovely daughter I could be. I regret not being able to see my siblings’ future success in their career. I regret […]
All my life, i’ve been hopinh that the future will bring something good. So far my life has been filled with pain, I know it may seem how I have it easy compared to other people with real problems, but every time it comes, it hurts so much. Mosts nights I spend crying myself to sleep. This has happened for the past three years. My only hope and is that I have someone to be happy with, she held me up, she made me feel that I wasn’t trash, that I could be something, that I was human. Even with her being around whenever it […]
Six months ago – In August 2014, I was perhaps happier than I’ve ever been and fulfilling a number of long-held dreams. I’m 45 years old and have a beautiful wife and daughter. I had been through some tough times before – nothing major – made some sacrifices and got through by focussing on the future. I was in the process of completing some big changes in my life that I had worked long and hard for.
Unexpectedly, a perfect storm of mostly random events and coincidences triggered a tidal wave of panic in me. Before I realized what was happening, I threw away a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that […]
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