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the world

Tomorrow starts “anew”

by lostchild445
written by lostchild445

I keep dreaming of a different life
I keep hoping to be a better person
I keep praying for a brighter sun
Yet I keep holding this knife

A new start they say
Its your chance to be whatever you want
But every time I try to imagine, my mind taunts me
With these fantastic images of what may be one day

You’ll be a hero, a friend, a savior
You’ll change the world for the better
You’l finally forget her
You’ll finally change your behavior

These pictures in my head
I can see they are lies
And I know that even if I tried
Soon, I’d just […]

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I’ve had enough.

by sixgunz
written by sixgunz

I’ve just seen this site and registered as I know it’s somewhere no one who knows me would look.

I have battled with depression for a really long time now. I did have a couple of years of respite, but over the last 5 years, it’s becoming more difficult to manage.

Pretty much everyone I know knows I suffer from depression but just recently and up to this day I have kept to what degree from them. The last year or so has been especially difficult as I lost my father and my mother has become hostile towards me. She has always been protective and has frowned […]

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he wishes i was dead and so do i

by wombers
written by wombers

He’s stood by my side through my depression, went above and beyond, more than anyone else would ever even think about. He stayed with me after my last attempt and tried to get me help. I can’t explain how much i owe him. Now though I’m nothing more than a burden. He see’s me as a parasite and i can see it in his eyes when he’s angry hed love nothing more than to squash me like one. Or if i just dropped dead everything would be ok for him, everything would be better. I’ve been on meds for a year now and they have […]

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HUMANITY IS FUCKED

by JadedGuy
written by JadedGuy

My life went to shit in my early 20’s after my mom had turned my dad into a psycho and i thought he was the bad guy until i realized what an evil human being my mother is. now i am almost 30 and Her being evil has ruined my life in so many ways i cannot even descibe the anger i feel thinking about it. I had a great childhood and never had any extreme hatred towards my mom until after they divorced and my dad kicked me out of his place for not having a job and stealing a bit of money which […]

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“Why”

by KaitlynRose7
written by KaitlynRose7

Why is it that society believes that the boys & girls with scars on their wrists are lower than the girls who wear tank tops & have perfect hair? Where ever morning instead of putting makeup on they paint a smile in sharpie? Not every child gets the advantage to have the perfect family , an I love you every morning or a little note from mommy in their lunch boxes. Society lives off of pain , standards are higher than gas prices . Everyday another boy or girl kills themselves or self harms. We got peeople yelling for help? But society labels them as […]

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We Are All Legends

by teardownthewall
written by teardownthewall

I saw someone write that they are Sisyphus and I thought it was poetically fitting for people in our condition. I myself am Atlas, damned to carry the world on my shoulders without given a moment to shrug. We are all legends and gods in our own right. Perhaps that’s why our deaths are so tragic.

I’ve finally decided to take that final step and let the world roll from my shoulders. I’ll give myself a month to tie loose ends and let my family adapt. I told them I’ll be leaving in a month. They think I’m just going to move away, having no idea. […]

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What day is it?

by Durmmy
written by Durmmy

I only know what day of the week it is because it says it on my iPad. I’ve sat in the same chair all day long for the last couple weeks, only moving to use the bathroom, shower, or sleep. My only forays out into the world consist of the five minutes to the corner store for smokes. No one calls. No one wonders what I’m up to. No one cares if I’m still alive. I come on SP to find people who identify with me, but in truth, I find I don’t identify. I feel like I just post random comments that no one […]

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A question that needs to be asked.

by All But Over Now
written by All But Over Now

I woke up this morning not long ago and decided to head to SP to see today’s posts. I noticed I had a fair amount of responses to my post last night. As I was reading them, a couple of users were talking about a topic that made me stop dead in my tracks and literally say ‘wow’. I feel everyone should take a look at this and give me there thoughts, because I really wish I had the answers.

” I’ve noticed one thing…a whole lot of awareness. Too much, I think. And intelligence. And thoughtfulness. A lot of very smart, sad, interesting, hyper-aware people. […]

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The eve before the big event.

by All But Over Now
written by All But Over Now

Today felt different. Not really a good or bad different. I went to work today as I had been out the last few days due to the fact I was not mentally able to go. Today was just a strange day. I did my normal routines, handled my normal business. I spoke very little. A couple co-workers told me I was a “bit off” today. They asked if everything was alright. I assured them everything was fine – from my perspective anyways.

 

The ride home from work was different too. The sun was well past its zenith, the shadows were long, a light breeze in the […]

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Seraphim, Can You Reach Into The Abyss … Nobody knows (The song)

by Bisban
written by Bisban

The arm of … the angel of death, hurts
Nobody knows, nobody, nobody knows
Treacherously holding our scythes for
The dying ones, nobody, nobody knows
The angel, the angel.

Time, has proven to be, eternal, to me
Passing time, I am the ultimate spawn
I will never come back, I will never
You have to help me, the homage of the undead
Take me, take me … To go die.

The black whisper, the white viper
The abstract story, one does not enlighten
And all is forever lost, transcendence, the pain
My nature, my spawn, into your death
Calypso, we were going to destroy the world.

Somebody save me, Sakura […]

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A Tribute to My Brother and to My Friend Kevin (Iamzero)

by jasonsbigsis
written by jasonsbigsis

“And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depths until the hour of separation.”-Khalil Gibran

Today has been a heart-wrenching day. I woke up knowing it was the 2 month mark of when my little brother took his life. It has been a devastating loss that has shattered my world. He is a part of my soul and always has been and I feel tremendous loss.

And then I received an email this morning from a dear friend known here as Iamzero, stating that he was sorry but that he could not go on any longer and wished me thanks and love. Love […]

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A Momentary Lapse of Reason

by teardownthewall
written by teardownthewall

Beautifully Fitting Music

I would like to share with you all a moment in my life where I felt the value of living.

I am a big fan of comic books. When I was younger I would consume manga (Japanese comics) which led to my later love in life of American graphic novels and great American literature in general. My favorite graphic novelist is Alan Moore. If you’ve never heard of him I’m sure you’ve heard of some of his works. He’s the mind behind the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, V for Vendetta, From Hell, Lost Girls, the Killing Joke, and Watchmen. He’s a wonderful man […]

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breakdowns

by Mary Love
written by Mary Love

My foster mom is so fucking hateful. I begin to take charge of my life, and she flips shit. I’m seventeen. I applied to take a nursing class at tcc so I can have a decent job in college and she freaked out and reminded me about how none of my family cares about me. About how i’m so alone in the world. I cried and cried….One more year.She got mad because “ever since I got back from my grandparents, I’ve acted like an adult”, which is her excuse to tear me down and rip me apart. I’m not gonna let her get to me. […]

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Affect/Effect; Robin Williams

by AarinaDaae
written by AarinaDaae

I’m sure that most of the world has heard that Robin Williams has passed away by asphyxiation. He died by suicide. Most of us on here are no stranger to depression and suicidal thoughts/tendencies. I’d be willing to guess that everyone here would be understanding but a curious thing happened with Robin’s passing. There has been so much attention on his passing and this “new” mysterious illness that magically gained relevance. Of course, it’s not new and it’s been real for so very long.

I have no right to go on and on about how much I will miss Mr. Williams and how he will forever […]

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My Story

by vitamin_water
written by vitamin_water

Most days I want to end it. I don’t have a plan. I don’t dwell on a way out. I just want it all to end.

When I was 12 (I’m 30 now) I first thought about suicide. It seemed romantic. Maybe I’d come back as a ghost – if a somehow fashioned a guillotine then I’d haunt my house like Marie Antoinette. Maybe I’d get to meet god, the real god. As irrational as it sounds, I was curious about death – what was it like on the other side? IS there an other side? That being said, I was also looking for a way out. I […]

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marianne williamson’s HORSESHIT

by yagharek
written by yagharek

I’m so tired of this quote streaking across the internet like the shitstains of hippies … fuck the fuck offfffffff:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children […]

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Another rant….

by Adderallslits
written by Adderallslits

It’s 4:am.

 

countless cigarett and broken thoughts, and here I am again. Awake in the dead of night, alone in the darkness. It’s quite scary actually, the things you can get used to. My thoughts are running wild…my thoughts are running deep. I can never run away from the way I truly feel. The days are okay, I just run on rutin. Breath in, breath out, go to school, eat,drink, speak. Life is just a habit, I just do the things I need to do. Don’t think. Don’t feel. I’m shut down. I’m disconnected. My life is my rutin. It’s weird how little remains of me.

I […]

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My point of view

by lostandtired
written by lostandtired

I’m new here, just made an account. Anyway I’m a 22 year old guy. I was recently diagnosed with epilepsy and that has been having my depression worse then ever. I’ve been depressed for my whole life. I honestly can’t think of the last time I was truly happy. I don’t think I ever have been. Life is too much right now. I don’t want to keep doing this because staying alive feels like it’s killing me. The non stop doctors apointments have ruined my sad at best social life. Never had lots of friends. Always only had two or three but they were the […]

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no one is here to hold my hand

by why i dont no
written by why i dont no

walking down cold halls stone of the underground

waxing the words strate out of my head the candel burns

the blood red pane in my forgoten sole

did i see this comeing a life of pane and hurt

was there a time i was happy

were my heart didunt explode in to fragments with the wakeing of the sun

was there ever a time were i was hear at all

was there a time were people looked at me full stop!

was there a time were i was saine!

was there a time were i was loved…

the world falls in to darkness and i with it fall

people try to fix me look in to […]

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didunt even get out the door

by why i dont no
written by why i dont no

well lastnight whent… well when i landed it knocked all the wind out of me i gave one hell of a yelp should of kept my trap shut chould of bled out cos of my arm insted mum came out and you can just imagin how much she freeked out i feel so sorry for her thay wiped all the blood of my arm and bandaged it up couldent beare the imbarisment of a suicidel son how whould that efect them and there reputashion “oh my” takes the piss im not upset i didunt die any more im up set cos my mum and dad […]

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