what is the problem with leaving me be why is it i have to stay downstairs in a room with an adult why is it that school is my hell hold but when im home thats my mental hospital, why cant i just be alone in my room sliting my wrists why cant i just be who i am and not be changed by the people who dont even give two fucks about me they are just scared of me incase im mental and insane because they dont understand this pain but they just have to change me and have to think about how safer […]
think
i spend most of my time, thinking to myself. trying to tell my self that yes, these people exist, they have feelings, their heart beat and they feel sad sometimes too.. but then again, how can I be so sure? and i can’t tell anyone how i really think, they’d think i’m crazy. who knows. Maybe i am crazy.
I spend most of my time wanting to die. the anxiety in me, the feeling of wanting to do everything at once, but having no purpose in doing it, not wanting to, why does it all matter? all what we do is grow up to get […]
This isn’t really something I usually do, I’m more of the “bottle it up” kind of guy, but I really need to get this out and Google led me here as an appropriate place to do so. It’s up to you if you want to read all this, but at least if you do, I have some validation of my efforts. Which I imagine would be nice.
Well… here goes.
I should be happy or satisfied enough really, shouldn’t I?
I mean, I did life right. I left school, got a steady dead end job and got myself a place to live independently. In this […]
i don’t want to kill myself i just can’t live anymore. this is not a life. i can’t be who i know i am i have to be what somebody else thinks i am. my life is defined by them. not who i am TODAY. i hate my life, i truly mean that, i have nothing, and i can’t just live life. i am my own person. I’m not what somebody else thinks of me. but what difference does it make if i can’t show them that! i have to go on everyday like this?! the only person i care about is the one who […]
scared of taking life
You get a chance to see lot more fun on earth with lot more crazy humans
Because some times you can think intelligently
Dead beings cannot have S3x
You can watch crazy movies and serials
You can spend time on sp
I think the hardest problem I’m facing right now is the fact that life got better, I was doing ok, and now, back to this feeling of incredible nothingness, the void that stays in my heart even when things seem to be all right.
NO one wants me in their life, really. Â I started talking to my mom again, found out she and my dad were getting a divorce, and all of it is good because for years they have stayed together and it was making them miserable. Â I reconnected with them, and I got a room mate to help me with the bills. Â I got […]
My boyfriend broke up with me, he was cheating on me but maybe if I was a better girlfreind he wouldn’t have had too. I love him and I know it’s my fault. I’m one of those people who have to try harder then everyone else. When I study for school it takes me 8 hours to remember something that other people remember in only 2 hours. I always ruin everything I try to do including my relationships. I’m surrounded by people who have done amazing things already or have skills. I am 20 years old, havn’t joined any sports, I have no skills, I’m […]
Hi Guys,
Umm…. So I think I have decided something… I’m not going to continue with these posts… Sorry… It’s just I am running out of things… My life is now boring… I mean all it is now is wake up, starve myself, go to sleep. I mean do you really want to hear that every day?
Sooo yeahh…. If you do want me to continue just leave a comment saying so…
How am I? Physically: Meh, could be better, but it could be worse. Mentally: My mind is chaotic.
My physical state… Well you know how I injured my shoulder maybe a week ago? Yeah well last night […]
I’ve had quite a few people get intouch with me so far, the conversations have been great, but I’m wondering who else is out there?
I’m a 21 year year old guy from the UK. I have anxiety, I get depressed, and I have suicidal thoughts. I don’t normally talk about my own issues, though I’m always upfront with others, I’ve found it easier to talk deeper about said issues with someone that actually relates, but I would also like to talk about other things, I guess it depends on whoever contacts me. I don’t care about your gender, I’m panromantic, not that it matters. I […]
Since when did this place breed so much hate and hurt? if its not here its in a chatroom related to this place. i think which post im talking about if obvious.
the thing is that post and this post shouldnt be necessary. is there not enough hurt in our lifes outside the sight that it becomes necessary to hurt other members?
To “joke” at their exspence for nothing other than cruel enjoyment at hurting others, was it not that cruelty from others that drove us here? is this what our members consist of, abusers and abused?
I am here because this is the one […]
I seem to have a problem. Well, multiple problems, but the key outcome is that I keep screwing up. All my life people have told me how great and intelligent I am. So gifted and kind and well-rounded. Blah blah blah.
Do you detect a hint of disdain in that? The reason for that is, I don’t think I ever learnt accountability or the actual meaning of hard work. All through school, I could study the night before and still rock an A, or a high B at the very least. Hard work to me was just listening in class and occasionally doing my homework. But […]
As a cchild, I used to dream of my future. I used to think all of these great things would happen, and that if I tried hard enough, I could be someone. Someone who was one who could make a difference. Not only that, but someone who would be great. Do something amazing, I guess.
But I believe those were dreams, and nothing but.
When I was about 5 or 6, I wanted to be a famous musician. I loved (and still do love) music back then. I wanted to just play piano or sing, get paid for it, and live that glamorous lifestyle. People […]
In the world of gaming, especially for the RPGs, you get to erase your character if you fucked up your character build.
I think it’s the same here. I’ve been living wrongly and I don’t see any patch is going to happen to save it so I wanna erase my character.
The only difference is there’s no ‘start new game’ feature here but even if there was, I don’t think I’m willing to start it all over again.
its seemed like an non ending illusion ,once i opened my eyes i realized that all what was before ,was nothing but a wrong conception ,i chose to suffer and let my my soul and all these false ideas to consume on my spirit .
it took me like four years to know where am i heading to ,four years of hurting and blaming myself for things i didnt do
but now i think its the time for me to end it ,and make a decesion ,which is like this :
becaus i i ll find release when Death comes to take me someday […]
I don’t know what i’m doing with my life. Does anybody know? Like, Jobs said that life would have worked out looking backwards: it would have been a “connecting the dots” of all the little decisions made, and at the end everything would have become clear.
I think i will draw anything but a scrawl, when it will come my time. Everyone has his share of defeat but defeat itself has a meaning, that is the fight; what are we doing instead, me and my generation, drunk saturday, studying monday, working tuesday, wednesday married – how is it that these serial mass-produced lives could signify anything more […]
The first …
The idea of suicide … the spark of a thought that you don’t have to deal with this, that there is some other alternative…Â As mild and as “innocent” as psychiatry like to make it out, it’s just as dangerous as any, exactly for that reason…Â People don’t take it serously when someone just says “I feel like killing my self”…Â they feel that if you have the clarity of mind to share it, your not a suicide risk…your just feeling like you are caught between a rock and a hard place… so they put you on “retreat” for a couple of days […]
It’s almost my birthday. I’m so depressed, I just think about dying.
Fake smiles, fake hugs. Nobody cares..
I have struggled with addiction,depression,low self esteem,family issues,loss,grief etc for the better part of my life.I have attempted to take my life a few times,most times not truly wanting to die,was more of a cry for help.A year or so ago my best friend commited suicide,it was a very hard thing to deal with,it hurt very much.I always think of the way that he did it,i think that is how i want to go as well.Last year on x mas eve,i received some news that was rather bothersome to me,it hurt me deeply.I turned to alcohol,for the most part ive been clean for 10 years,the […]
I am lost and scared and I’m no where near fixed but I am not dead.
I still think about suicide often and I remained un-medicated until a few moments ago when I popped the first pill to happy (doxepin).
I am getting therapy. Every once in a while it will give me something useful but not often. I don’t think I’ll be sticking with it in the long run. Maybe once every few months.
I may be unable to sleep due to apnea or even my sinus being closed off because of a random act of violence back in 07′. Apparently sleep deprivation is a bad thing…
I […]