Tag:

Tho

well um…

by rawrimaturtle.. 3/30/2012

written by rawrimaturtle..

I’ve been listening to birdy a lot lately! i really love her voice and music.. it really speaks to me. if you haven’t heard of her you have to look her up on youtube.!

well this weeks been hard for me.. and I’m not even sure why.. it just seems like everyone leaving me… tho I’ve made a new friend which I’m so thankful for and i absolutely love her for heaping me. tho she may not know it. she is helping me..I’ve been thinking about suicide more an more….. i started puking again…. ugh why am i so messed up??? i badly want to cut… […]

3/30/2012 12 comments

…

by rawrimaturtle.. 3/9/2012

written by rawrimaturtle..

well i found out my friend died… i don’t know if he remembered me becuz we haven’t talked in a while.. i hope he does Â cuz i’ll always remember him and what he was like and how he helped me… why do ppl i care about always leave?

mt sister still beats me… tho its usually for “fun..”

my mom and dad think I’m getting better, tho I’m not… a few friends help me. tho some don’t… they say they care about me yet they treat me like shit… i wouldn’t mind if they were nice to me when I’m going threw this Â or helped me….

i cry […]

3/9/2012 9 comments

make it go away!

by rawrimaturtle.. 3/9/2012

written by rawrimaturtle..

the pain has become more then i can handle. i need it to stop! i need it to go away!!!1 please!

i want to kill myself Â but i can’t do that to the ppl in my life…. i can’t. but i can’t keep going on like this. i haven’t cut in a while Â tho i badly want to! Â but i know cutting isn’t enough anymore.

almost every other 14 year old girl in the whorl don’t have to go through this, why do i? Â want to die Â i want the pain to go away, PLEASE make it stop, please?

-Morgan….RawrImaTurtle

3/9/2012 15 comments

Am I in love?

by rawrimaturtle.. 3/5/2012

written by rawrimaturtle..

I can’t concentrate. I always think about him. I day dream about him everyday and dream about him almost every night. I’m sad when I don’t talk to him. And he’s the only one who can make me happy. When he’s in a bad mood. So am I. When he’s sad. So am I. I can’t stop thinking about him!Â

Is this love?Â

Like in that one song that goes like “love is what you want it to be. It is haven to the lonely”. I think that’s really true!Â

-Morgan……RawrImaTurtle…

Ps:I sill feel broken inside tho. But not when I talk to him. He makes me forget my […]

3/5/2012 2 comments

blah

by Emilyxxtaylor 2/29/2012

written by Emilyxxtaylor

So my brother when to jail the other day he was trying to brake into cars and he was high and had a loaded gun.why tho e has everything he ever wanted. we loved him but all he did was hurt us. And on the other hand my boyfriend thinks I’m cheating don’t really wana be alive right now

2/29/2012 1 comment

Bi power!

by lifeishorrible 2/27/2012

written by lifeishorrible

So I’m startinq to let the real me out.I miss sayinq bi power on my status on Myspace lol.(Like three years aqo)I don’t know If I am bisexual.I’ve refused to answer that question In the past year and a half.Am I still attracted to boys???I don’t know,I just don’t knowÂ but I love qays tho!Yall judqe to much tho.It started when I was In eiqhth qrade.I started toÂ qo boy huntinq with my old bestfriend causse I didn’t want her and my ex to do It and I quess I qrowed a feelinq for them.I only told three close friends,One was my old bestfriend.Couple days later two […]

2/27/2012 3 comments

Help HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

by ets2005a 2/27/2012

written by ets2005a

I suffer from PTSD which creates overwhelming anxiety. I can not stand people in general for tho they pretend to care in reality they do not. a more fair description might be that they care so long as its conveinent. some of the experences that have led to my PTSD include but are not limited to being in a tornado, haveing been on fire twice, watching the person next to me in junior high murdered durring class, being stabbed, constant mental and physical abuse as a child, and most recently listening to my mother shoot herself in the head while talking to me on the […]

2/27/2012 22 comments

Miserable me

by StacyP 2/22/2012

written by StacyP

So…I’m 20 year old girl who is feeling like a loser for her whole life.

I fail at college which my parents and I pay a lot of money for. I just don’t feel like studying. Even when I find the will to do that, it disappears quickly and rarely returns. Â I find studying boring and unefficient. I fail at being a college student.

This is just what was been worrying me recently. My whole life is some kind of a sick joke someone got me into and I have the feeling that everyone around me laugh at me behind my back. I’m just miserable.

So I think […]

2/22/2012 7 comments

Cuttinq Is MY copinq skill!

by lifeishorrible 2/18/2012

written by lifeishorrible

So I just cut like twenty-minutes aqoÂ listeninq to I’m not alriqht (by Sanctus real).I cutted deep but for some reason I bearly bleed and I came out as some baby line’s.Some much for lookinq at my scars to remind me that what I’m qoinq threw Is hard.Alot of people want to stop cuttinq but I like It,It makes me feel qood Inside.I recently relapsed:(I even smoked two hour’s before a biq event happened at my Church.I’m a horiibe person for continuinq to smoke.All I want Is to be loved!It’s the best feelinq In the world.I still remember the feelinq when me and my ex would […]

2/18/2012 3 comments

i feel shitty…

by rawrimaturtle.. 2/10/2012

written by rawrimaturtle..

well now both my parents know i started cutting again. and i hate it… i dont want to talk to them about it.. i cant its too hard. but my mom doesnt understand this… i think my dad helped her to a little tho. becuz last nbight she said she didnt think it was nessesary to go to therapy becuz i can talk to her. she then said she’ll talk to my dad about it, and when i woke up this morning she said that i have to go speak to the school counselor today and if they think i need therapy then i’ll go.

but […]

2/10/2012 5 comments

:'( …….

by rawrimaturtle.. 2/10/2012

written by rawrimaturtle..

My mom found out I started cutting again. Tho I haven’t in 2 weeks. She said she now doesn’t trust me becuz I didn’t come talk to her about it…
I told her its hard to talk to her about it and she doesn’t understand!
I told her I still want to go to therapy and she said “well I don’t think that’s nesesary. U can talk to me” but I can’t…. It’s to hard

She kept telling me over and over again how disapoinyed she is in me. And how she can’t trust me….

Me and my friends have been planning a sleepover that I badly […]

2/10/2012 9 comments

The new me

by rawrimaturtle.. 2/8/2012

written by rawrimaturtle..

Im going to start wearing t-shirts again. If they kids at school see my wrist I don’t care, they can judge me all they want. But it won’t mean anything to me. Especially sense they don’t know my story.

I’m going to try to love life again. Tho I know it will be hard and I will still cry myself to sleep a lot. I’m going to try

I am starting the butterfly project again… Hopefully I can do it this time.

-Morgan…..RawrImaTurtle!

2/8/2012 9 comments

Lover Death Denies Me Still!!

by LunaSorrow 2/7/2012

written by LunaSorrow

i attempted offing myself about a 2 weeks ago….ive just been to damn ashamed to say anything….what is this….attempt 12…..13maybe?? i think ive gotten to the point where im just used to the failure. The pills only made me spaz thru the night. i kinda get a kick out of how cruel God is. it surprises me tht i can still have a relationship with God, no matter how one sided it is…..i begg and pray, and he just looks on. i swear my pain and eternal torment is his entertainment! Atleast Death holds me in the night. tho its not time for me to […]

2/7/2012 3 comments

I’m fighting..

by rawrimaturtle.. 1/31/2012

written by rawrimaturtle..

I’m fighting to try not to cut, tho i hurt so much!

i don’t want to cut. i really don’t. but its so hard. and its probably helping that I’m not clue to any scissors right now. but later tonight i will be.. and i don’t know if i will be able to handle it… sometimes I’m glad I’m lazy…. but gosh i want to cut myself… i want the pain of my heart be pushed away with the pain of the cut…

🙁

-Morgan…..RawrImaTurtle

1/31/2012 14 comments

Hia :) i have half of an idea =P

by rawrimaturtle.. 1/30/2012

written by rawrimaturtle..

who else is sick of stereotypes and people judging? i know i am, but i also know i judge as well. tho i try not to..

well my half idea is.. we should do something about it don’t you think? i want to do something like on the movie ‘pay it forward’ if you haven’t seen that movie watch the trailer, you will still understand :). but the thing is, my brain runs dry when i try to think of what do to. so i need some help. i think this project will keep me busy. so my depression might be pushed to the back of […]

1/30/2012 3 comments

I’m Beautiful!

by rawrimaturtle.. 1/29/2012

written by rawrimaturtle..

im sick and tired of people calling me ugly, or saying i look like a dude, or have a “boyish face” I’m sick of people saying “I’d pick ____ over morgan any day”

becuz when i look in the mirror. I’m happy with what i see, i feel beautiful. and in my mind i think i am. even tho i get called ugly at least once a week.

i just don’t get how not many other people can see that I’m beautiful like how i see myself.

i have been texting my friend (he’s a guy) for the past week. and today he told me “i like making […]

1/29/2012 33 comments

live life.. love life

by saddest-panda 1/17/2012

written by saddest-panda

sometimes you ask yourself why?? we do these stupid things when in the end we die.. but were all still alive as we walking down the road to the pathway of life.. and even tho we try.. its never easy â€¦ sometimes we get lazy ..its hard to stay busy ..we smoke a little weed and we get a little tipsy.. but its fine we need some fun times.. sometimes its good to do a few linesâ€¦ but don’t be stupid and keep your mind â€¦. you’ll need it.. this life is hard .. but if you believe you know you’ll go far â€¦ and […]

1/17/2012 1 comment

Monday,to the hospital it is!

by lifeishorrible 1/14/2012

written by lifeishorrible

First time postinq.Spoke to my social worker yesterday.I told that I was qonna overdose so I can leave this corrupted world,I told her not to tell my mom but you know yall can’t trust adults.I was stupid enouqh to trust her and well I just went to the hospital in december for depression and suicidal ideation!,now I’m qoinq aqain!I stayed there for six days last time but my social worker says Ima stay there for about two weeks now.It’s not to bad tho exepct for the qroup,there ssssoooo borinq and the sleepinq at nine,dude I’m freakinq seventeen not six!…..I’ve been readinq alot of stories on […]

1/14/2012 3 comments

me……

by qwertyloser 1/10/2012

written by qwertyloser

im 14 years old i just had my heart broken with a guy that abused me and even tho he did i still miss him and i feel heartbroken caus now he has a gf and it was one of my old friends i thought i had people there for me but i guess not all my girls left me caus he never let me go hangout with them i always had to be with him and him only i wasnt allowed talking to other guys and he break up my best guy friend i know i should hate him but i dont……i have scars […]

1/10/2012 1 comment

what’s there to like?

by LunaSorrow 1/2/2012

written by LunaSorrow

you know when you say you hate someone, and then everything they do seems to annoy the fuck out of you?….well thats where i am in my life right now. im at the point that i hate everything i say and do.

Â iÂ hate the way i speak, my voice seems too boyish to be a girl. was i meant to be a man?

Â i hate the way i walk. was i born with a fucking stick up my ass?

Â i hate the way my breasts make my shirts tight. i just wish i was flat chested like everyone else in my family!

Â i hate the way i look. […]

1/2/2012 2 comments

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