I have a friend, that I consider as bestfriend. But I don’t think she thinks the same way. She’s such a popular person that everybody wanna be friend with her. We are teammates in soccer team. Yesterday she played awfully. I scolded her in front of other teammates. She cried because she played awfully, not because I scolded her. But the other teammates thought it’s because of me. Everybody thinks I am such a arrogant and bad person. She told me she didn’t cry because of me. But she never told the other teammates the reason she cried and she left me with that bad […]
Tag:
thought
Just some thoughts…. It makes me feel sad how I’m always there for someone else in there time of need , but when I need someone no one is ever there for me. It also frustrates me how I always ask my friends every single day how they are doing and making sure they are OK and most of my friends don’t even ask me if I’m OK. Even when I tell them I’m sad or upset or depressed, they don’t even acknowledge the fact that I am upset and could just use a friend. I’m tired of being there for others when no one […]
This list is for a specific person, but for anyone out there who would like to be my friend/ already is my friend, you must be able to tick atleast one of the following attributes.
1) The way you brushed your hair out of your eyes.
2) You never pretended to find my jokes funny…
3) …Unless you actually thought they were.
4) Your self conciousness.
5) The way you’d comfort me when I was down.
6) Your cooking skills were unparalleled.
7) Your favourite Smiths song is “Frankly Mr Shankly”
8) Your crush on the guy that lived across from us.
9) You weren’t afraid to say it how you saw it.
10) The […]
“I’m not depressed and I’m not unhappy, because I believe that happiness is not a destination to reach and set up camp at, it’s a place you visit every once in a while when the stars are aligned just right or something along those lines.”
This was sent to me by someone in an E-mail a couple of weeks ago and it got me thinking. I (like many other people here, I’m sure) have not been happy in many years and I wonder if constant, true happiness is common even for those who possess all of the things many of us relate to happiness – money, […]
Well I’m 16 and i’ve made a lot of stupid mistakes academically speaking. And just in general. I decided to do online schooling one year in 8th grade because school was so stressful to me at the time. I failed the grade. This made me feel so bad about myself but I went back to school for a solid two years. Managed to pass both grades. Then now, this year, I just didn’t ever go. I had already made up my mind to just commit suicide. I concluded I would never amount to anything but thought, “Hey, I’ll give myself a little vacation first if […]
I know I want to leave this life and all, but I’m scared of what will happen after I die..
In the family I grew up in and what I’ve been taught and so on, is that if there is indeed a god, he would send you to hell for taking your own life. In different religions it’s different outcomes, but what if I do take my life and I do get sent to hell..i’d be forced to keep reliving my life. The life i’m trying to get away from.
I always thought if there was a god, and if you did take your life, he would […]
With a younger close friend. In some pain and alone. Trying to pry myself off the couch – I ve been here before. She’s with someone else I didn’t even know how much she counted until she told me about her new friend. I’m being obsessive and I don’t want to let her go but I don’t want to creep her out either ( maybe too late). I’ve thought of giving up – I’m like scary needy. I know I’m putting way too much on her for my well being but you who have been in this hell know how effective logic is. It’s been […]
I wonder what the journey to death is like.
I don’t necessarily believe in an afterlife, although I like the idea of one.
Will there be a long, dark tunnel to gates of white?
Or a long, dark tunnel to blackness?
Paradise or Nothingness?
My money is on there being nothing in death. But that’s okay with me, if there is no conscious thought after life ends, then I have no ability to be unhappy.
I am trying to escape the influence of those who have hurt me, but it’s like that nightmare where you’re running away from someone and every time you glance back they’re still nipping at your heels, […]
Hi Everyone!, It’s been 4 weeks since they told me I have leukemia, It’s been hard without my mom I don’t know where she is and my grandma don’t give a damn about me, so they send me to this shelter actually It’s a hospital for kid haha The doctors are taking care of me and if I survived I’ll spend the rest of my life paying MedInsurance hahah.
So hmm, I don’t know if i’m getting better or worse, but I’m sure of something. I’m fighting and giving the best of me.. and If I make it I would be proud.
The hard part […]
First, I don’t think i’m depressed. I just thought about it and decided that to die at a young age makes sense. I worked as a care worker for 6 months before eventually it got to me. I saw what to expect as I got to the end and I didn’t like it at all. Couple that with nihilistic beliefs and it made sense to me that to take my own life when I was happy and healthy made more sense than waiting for my body to slowly decay.
I don’t know why I haven’t done it yet. I’ve tried spontaneously when I was actually depressed. […]
I think I’m going to kill myself soon. I’m not sure when, but I’ve started to formulate a plan. So many times before, when I’ve thought of ending it, the people I loved and cared for held me back. I don’t have that anymore. It just hurts knowing I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve to get an education, to travel, to own nice things, or have other people love me unconditionally. My entire time on this planet has just been reinforcing this idea the entire time. I’m tired. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.
Have you learnt some pivotal life skills from a relative or older friend?
Has a friend or family member taught you some life skills that you swear by now?
Have you learnt some life skills over time as a result of harsh life experience?
Your contribution could be the one thing someone needs to hear to prevent the thought of self harm and maybe lift them from their depression.
I take people by face value, I never trust the testimony of others when determining an opinion on someone. I’ll listen and respect their comment, but at the end of the day, I’ll make my own decisions on who is […]
Hi all,
I am a bipolar, drug induced psychosis and suicide survivor.
My life was such chaos before diagnosis and I honestly don’t know how i made it out alive. I’ve had a few serious attempts. When I say serious, I mean more spontaneous, not planned, I was caught downing three months of antidepressants, had material rip when I tried to asphyxiate myself and my dogs eyes stopped me from driving us over a cliff. I have also had my cry for help attempts. I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t want to live either. I wanted help, so I would tell someone that I was […]
I’ve never tried to kill myself. the thought of wanting to cripples my mind and it rots away at my soul everyday. my bones ache to the point where i can barely function
I’m missing someone and with his absence comes a sadness that will rip my chest opensoon and i wish i knew how to fix me and i wish i knew how to be better
what is my purpose and why am i so sad
the sleeping pills are kicking in now and its hard to keep my head up
need a friend
Sometimes I wonder if my suicidal thoughts have a reason behind them. I mean, I know I want to die because my life is not something I appreciate, but does it have a medical reason? Could I even have depression? Could I get help?
I don’t know why I never thought of that before. I don’t want psychological help, but could it be a possibility? My family never worried about this kind of problems because I never let people know about my emotions, I’m good at hiding.
I’m really curious about this, but at the same time I don’t care. If I actually have some kind of illness […]
Who’s to say the way that I think is wrong?
It may be different to you, but why is different wrong?
Maybe I’m a step above you on the evolutionary tree.
Compassion is a trait commonly found in the losing side.
“Have you thought about harming anyone besides yourself?” Frequently.
“What do these thoughts consist of?” I want to know what their insides look like on the outside.
The disgust in your eyes. The way your lip curls without you even noticing.
I’m what you’d look like if you didn’t care so damned much.
don’t you dare label me
An orange rots from the inside out. The outside may be in pristine condition, but upon cutting it open you may find nothing but mold.
Maybe that’s what’s been happening to my mind. My memory has been getting worse. My desire for life is diminishing even more, if that were possible. I’m starting to care less and less about the risk and consequence of my death. On the outside, however, I am as normal as can be to most people.
Yes, to most people. Other than the person who (sadly) saved me from death during my last attempt, most people involved had put it away, […]
Every Tuesday I sit in a therapy office and get told that as long as I take my medicine and think of all the positives I will be, “okay.” Dr. Herr looked at me one day and asked me something I’ve never really thought about before and it completely shattered me..”when were you last happy, when have you felt ‘normal’?”…The last time I woke up and wasn’t terrified to get out of bed and wasn’t so nervous about life tumbling down around me that I had a panic attack, was when I was locked up in a Psych ward. I tried to drown myself in […]
Don’t know why but today I feel like writing my story. So I will. Pardon the Grammar.
No human story is ever single dimensional. there are always multiple reasons that prompt your action and that action causes multiple effects. Whenever I have new mood or new type of person in front of me (that is, in my psyche), I see my life from a different angle. I personally like the curiosity angle and have most respect for spirituality angle. Social angle is the most ugly. I might at times mix them with one another, because ultimately they are one and the same.
(I like to recall things according […]
Some day I will be able to:
Be free
Live on my own
Be who I want to be
Live far away from my mom
Be happy?
Let’s be real, I will never be happy. I can never be free because I am trapped to my mentally ill mother. I am all alone. My stomach is in knots and I can’t seem to stop the anxiety and the emotions that come with the thought of killing myself. I will never be able to “stomach” the situation that for the last 16 years I have been put through. My life is never going to change. I am trying to do the best […]