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Some day I will be able to..

by falling_soup

Some day I will be able to:

  • Be free
  • Live on my own
  • Be who I want to be
  • Live far away from my mom
  • Be happy?

Let’s be real, I will never be happy. I can never be free because I am trapped to my mentally ill mother. I am all alone. My stomach is in knots and I can’t seem to stop the anxiety and the emotions that come with the thought of killing myself. I will never be able to “stomach” the situation that for the last 16 years I have been put through. My life is never going to change. I am trying to do the best I can but what really is the “best”? I never seem to be doing the right thing because everything I do is “wrong” and it isn’t the right answer. I haven’t really been myself or even happy for that matter. I am sorry that no one is able to “fix me”. I am never going to be who anyone wants me to be. I am always going to the piece of shit, lower then “worm sweat” (what ever the fuck that means) I am sad. no wait that would be an understatement. I have depression a sickness that will never be cured. I am giving up. I am a lost cause and I am afraid that I will never be able to be saved. Goodbye <3 XOX, Falling_Soup  I am d-o-n-e.

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5 comments

falling_soup 2/17/2015 - 3:11 pm

I read your post <3 I am sending you love kills.

deathisbliss 2/17/2015 - 6:59 pm

This will sound heartless…but your mother is not your issue….

People who are mentally ill and drag others down are never their relatives problem….because if someone refuses to try, refuses to be treated, and refuses to be well…

No one can help them.

My brother in law is bipolar, he lives with his mom, he refuses to be treated, and he refuses to me out and actually live.

He’s almost 40….and still lives with his mom….who I might add it a licensed psychologist.

She helps people every day but she can’t help him because he refuses to listen.

Move out as soon as you can….live your own life….because you cannot save her if she is not willing to be saved.

Yeah, she might break down, and bad things might happen, but she is already lost….don’t let her drag you down too.

deathisbliss 2/17/2015 - 7:01 pm

YOU still have a chance!

MoonOceanStars 2/17/2015 - 10:26 pm

Are you me? deathisbliss is right though. Branch off your mother when you can. Staying with her too long can only damage you more. Live YOUR life. Nice song too.

weepingangel 2/18/2015 - 12:46 am

You’re not done. I know you’re in a shitty situation now, but it will get better. You won’t have to live with your mom forever. You can’t give up on me now.

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