Tag:

thought

Broken Princess

by AarinaDaae 1/17/2015

written by AarinaDaae

I was so stupid. How could I have possibly thought that I was capable of true happiness?

I was doing so well. For about a year, I fell into and out of deep fits of depression. I attempted to take my life twice and no one even noticed. Even the doctors thought it was all accidental….but then, I just stopped caring all together. I figured that the depth of my state would eventually kill me off. I was no longer concerned with living or dying. If there were ever a limbo for humans, I’d entered it. At some point in my state of limbo, a wonderful […]

1/17/2015 1 comment

An advice that made me a living dead

by BestLoserIam 1/16/2015

written by BestLoserIam

Don’t tell your talent to anyone until you become very successful person, they will keep an evil eye on your talent and they will destroy your talent. I was very talented/creative person created so many video games, art, pencil sketches, poems but I was not allowed to tell what I was doing. So everyone thought I was very dumb . I had the talent to become best student of my university but I end up being a dumb alone person who was blacklisted from college.When I realized it was very stupid advice, it was too late. Now I have lost all the interest in […]

1/16/2015 0 comment

What’s the point?

by Anonymous_Kiss 1/16/2015

written by Anonymous_Kiss

ok so I am 14 years old and my whole life has been decided for me. What I mean is that my parents are controlling me and deciding my whole life and there is NO escape! It’s completely normal for all of this in the country I live in and 95% of the people from my country are the same but they just never complain and find it completely normal.. 🙁 some of my online friends told me “don’t worry you will be free once your 18” but no that’s not the case here. Here your parents will control you till you’re married (and they […]

1/16/2015 23 comments

Unwanted gratitude

by Voidt 1/9/2015

written by Voidt

In solitude, steadily moving towards what is not mine: a sense of tranquility. An artificial sense of gratitude steeps through the thought of tranquility, tranquility becomes a symbol of your demise. The feeling of gratitude to what is not wanted: it’s betrayal, that betrayal is present in the tranquility: the tranquility of the – ordinary! The ordinary is a distinction of your-self from the rest, they’re ordinary, you’re authentic. The meaningless feeling of tranquility they enjoy, cannot be a result of emptiness filled with the necessary elements that gratitude feeds on to manifest. Why you want that tranquility, you just can’t figure. In the end, that […]

1/9/2015 0 comment

in limbo

by melancholicpony 1/8/2015

written by melancholicpony

I can’t kill myself because it would destroy my family, but I don’t want to live. My mother died 6 weeks ago. It occurred to me then that I might be free to end my life, as I have thought about doing for a long time. She was the main reason I could not kill myself, because I believed that doing so might literally kill her as well. Now that she’s gone, though, I look at my sisters and see how much they depend on me and each other, and I still can’t do it. I have a good family. I can’t act on these […]

1/8/2015 4 comments

Looks like things are starting to turn around.

by BrokenAngel8 1/7/2015

written by BrokenAngel8

Hey, sorry its been a while since I last posted on here It’s been busy over on my end with the holidays, work, and finishing the college transfer process….

I start at my new college on Monday I’m double majoring in Broadcasting and Art Therapy. I loved my old college but with what happened my freshman year even if I remained there I would never move up and be happy in what I want to do. I truly hope the friends I made there will understand why.

So pretty much I am starting off with a clean slate and a new chapter. Its kind of funny cause […]

1/7/2015 1 comment

Left Behind

by Left Behind 1/7/2015

written by Left Behind

I came across this site while looking up suicide rates in 2014. I read through some of the posts, and decided I’d post my story. Although I’ve never attempted suicide, the thought is all to familiar to me. The thought of committing suicide has crossed my mind numerous times. I don’t know how intentional the thought was to actually commit, more of a lingering what if? Death is inevitable, inevitable for everyone. I’ve endured many losses in my 28 years. Some family, most of them friends. Some to accidents, and others at their own will. I never really thought too much about what happens to a persons soul after they take their own life. […]

1/7/2015 2 comments

I keep thinking I can’t bear it anymore. But I’m scared of the alternatives.

by thehusk 1/4/2015

written by thehusk

I’m such an asshole. I hate being around people, especially at work. They’re always in the way. And I haven’t worked out a way to ask them to move without feeling angry. I try to be polite, but my face seems to betray me – ‘I hate you for not having the self-consciousness to realise you’re in my way, I hate that I have to ask you to move just so I can do my job, and I hate myself that this is how I’m spending my life.’

Or people try to make small talk. There’s reasons I don’t want to talk about myself. I feel […]

1/4/2015 2 comments

Finally Reaching Out

by telltaleheart 1/4/2015

written by telltaleheart

I’ve been lurking on this site for about a week now and finally decided to register today.I decided to reach out because I’ve been having a really hard time coping with things recently. My therapist was a waste of a degree, my friends don’t understand, and my girlfriend just recently left me.

It’s not like I haven’t had a hard time before. I’ve been in, what I call, a bad head space before. I’ve been hospitalized three times, have been cutting for some time now, and have attempted to kill myself twice. It just feels so much different this time.

I was and am still in love. […]

1/4/2015 14 comments

Help

by kmg07 1/2/2015

written by kmg07

Hi. This is actually my first time to do this kind of thing. Like, asking for help regarding my depression so im having a hard time telling this. Im a 14 yrs old girl. Im really depressed. I cut too due to a lot of reasons. People see me as the jolly, cheerful, happy girl but it’s totally the opposite. Im struggling everyday. Whenever im sad or when i feel like crying, I just keep it inside, i don’t show emotions. For a week now, everyday i’ve thought of comitting suicide, i’ve searched on ways but, I really don’t want to end my life yet. […]

1/2/2015 7 comments

hi

by my heaven is your hell 1/2/2015

written by my heaven is your hell

Wow,who would have thought that i would survive.I can’t believe im still here.Somehow,time flies and i just got used to the fact that I have to live because my death would only bring problems to others.So i am here,alive some would say.I don’t know how to feel about it,but everyone should try .Maybe in a year or two something changes.Give it a try,give a chance to yourself.And if anyone needs to talk im here,no matter when.

1/2/2015 1 comment

Never been in a relationship

by ting12 1/2/2015

written by ting12

I am approaching 30 and I have never been in a relationship.

When I was 18 I had my first major crush on this girl in college (I am also a girl). We had been close friends (I think) for about half a year before she started to really distance herself from me. She might have sensed my crush and got freaked out. Then one day she told me she had a boyfriend. Somehow I never knew it before (I was so stupid) and I made comments about her boyfriend out of jealousy. She was enraged and called me a freak and a predator before completely […]

1/2/2015 7 comments

Annoying Cheeseball

by FeelingFunny 1/1/2015

written by FeelingFunny

Hey I know it’s totally cheesy but you all have the strength to overcome your adversity. I believe God never gives us more than we can handle. But, even if you don’t believe in any god or any religion, I still believe that as humans we have the inner strength to persevere. I have gone through suicide attempts, bouts of mental instability, self injury, addiction, an abusive father, and I recently realized I was technically molested by my sister from the age of 4-10, I had just never thought of it like that cause she was only three years older than me and I forgot […]

1/1/2015 26 comments

weak

by New Shoes 12/31/2014

written by New Shoes

I am trying to find the guts to cut myself tonight. I have never done it but thought about it often. I am scared of the pain but feel like I need a release.

12/31/2014 14 comments

Anime’s that made you feel different (List-kun!!!) <=)

by Lsari 12/31/2014

written by Lsari

Hey SP’ers

I am a huge fan of anime and I wanted to post a brief list of anime that left a mark on me. I wish I could list everything but these are but a few of the classics I have enjoyed:

– Here and now then and there

– Texhnolyze

– Berserk

– Elfen Lied

– Kemono no Souja Erin

– The Twelve Kingdoms

– Shinsekai yori

– Escaflowne

– Blue Gender

– Seirei no Moribito

– Galaxy Express 999

– Argentosoma

– Rurouni Kenshin

– Evangelion

The list could go on and I’m sure I’ll kick myself later for forgetting my critical favorites :'(

Please share any anime you thought made you feel a change or effected you in an unexpected yet hopefully pleasant way 🙂

12/31/2014 15 comments

People hurt.

by jasal 12/29/2014

written by jasal

They really do. They hurt so much that sometimes I really wish I could be all alone in this world. I wish I had no family or friends, that I could live entirely on my own. And sometimes I envision a future where that’s how I really live. Phone calls to my parents, occasionally, gifts mailed out during the holidays to some of my relatives, but nothing more than those few interactions. Nothing face-to-face or substantial. The only downside to this grand future is that I am inherently extroverted, and isolation feeds my depression and anxiety and ultimately makes me feel worse. I need people […]

12/29/2014 0 comment

Forgotten by tomorrow

by dead_arsenic 12/25/2014

written by dead_arsenic

She stands at the edge of the precipice,
looking down towards her future.
The last tears that she will ever cry,
falling from her eyes,
then falling into oblivion.
She watches them drop
as they disappear forever.
Yet, she laughs in the face of death.
Would it really matter if she took the leap?
She has been forgotten by tomorrow.

The wind blowing at her back,
pushes her to the edge.
Almost agreeing with her final decision,
and encouraging her to jump.

A thousand thoughts and memories
racing through her mind.

Her first day of school.
Her tenth birthday party.
The lonely, awkward days of her teenage years.

12/25/2014 3 comments

Let’s have a fantasy.

by nozmoking 12/25/2014

written by nozmoking

With the new year fast approaching I thought it might be interesting to engage in a little fantasizing. A bit of a fantasy never hurts now and then and it can sometimes tell us where we are grounded and where we are not. So here goes. Just answer the question in a million words or less…

If you were approached by the devil and offered a price to sell your soul into eternal damnation, what would you want in return?

To offer some food for thought, I was contemplating something like this: Being returned to the year 1969, with a 20 year old body, one billion pounds […]

12/25/2014 12 comments

No safety in sight.

by dusty990 12/21/2014

written by dusty990

I don`t know where to start.

I was dating the most wonderful woman for a short 20 months; not long, I know. But the time we spent together is irreplaceable. I already deal with depression and anxiety so when she left me one week before Christmas it just set off a severe downward spiral. I cannot get through the day without drinking copious amounts of alcohol and freezing up when the emotions get too strong. I`ve started self-harming again, I haven`t done this in years. It`s not her fault, this is not just because of a simple breakup but an underlying fact that I have not […]

12/21/2014 11 comments

help me plzz!!!

by gabreialla 12/21/2014

written by gabreialla

I feel alone and lonely these last few months I became very sensible and I had changed in my character . I feel tired in my head and in my body . I just feel like crying and something is killing me from inside. I had really thought about it and I think suicide is my the best solution .I can see everyone is getting love only me. I can see everyone is having new accomplishments in their lives only me. sometimes I think if I was living or not its the same thing. and I am the kind of person who hides their […]

12/21/2014 4 comments

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