I’ve been lurking on this site for about a week now and finally decided to register today.I decided to reach out because I’ve been having a really hard time coping with things recently. My therapist was a waste of a degree, my friends don’t understand, and my girlfriend just recently left me.
It’s not like I haven’t had a hard time before. I’ve been in, what I call, a bad head space before. I’ve been hospitalized three times, have been cutting for some time now, and have attempted to kill myself twice. It just feels so much different this time.
I was and am still in love. She was the light of my life; the best times of my life have been the days I spent with her. I lost her because of the side effects of my medication and my reactions to them. I started taking Lamictal for bipolar disorder. The medicine made me feel so apathetic towards everything and everyone. I asked for space because I needed time to figure out what was going on with me. She thought that I didn’t love her. I did and I still do. I feel like I messed up so badly; not only did I hurt her, but I messed up my only true chance at happiness. I don’t feel like I can ever be happy again. I had always had hope to keep myself going in life. Now that I’ve lost her, I don’t have hope anymore.
14 comments
Have you explained the situation to her? She may have a different reaction if she knows the whole story…
Indeed I have. I made a new friend (only a friend) during this time and she feels as though I cheated on her emotionally. She won’t talk to me, let alone forgive me. I have never cared for anyone else that way that I have cared for her. It’s so hard not to think about how much I miss her. I feel so guilty and broken.
That’s really rough. Hopefully the friendship will blossom into what it once was 🙂
She won’t be my friend. She refuses to speak to me.
I misunderstood, I thought you meant she was ok w being friends…sorry. Maybe she just needs time. & if that’s not the case & she can’t accept you for you, then (& I know this doesn’t help now) someone better will come along…
There is no need to apologize. Your replies do help. The fact that you took the time to respond to me means a lot. Thank you for your encouraging words
I truly hope things turn around for you. Sometimes life just sucks, holding on (no matter how hopeless it seems) is so important bc there’s always a light at the end of (even the darkest) tunnel
& you are absolutely welcome 🙂
Heading to bed, it’s late my time. Feel free to email me if you want to chat & I’ll get back to you tomorrow… Kelleeirene@yahoo.com
Hello, I’m no expert by any means, but I’ve learned one thing; meds help but there is always a hefty price. Mine stripped me off any desire and after a year my husband finally came to a realization he did not want me anymore.
My world collapsed, I’ve loved him for 10 years. If I could undo the time I would be more honest about my feelings and what was going on in my head. Instead I shut down and finally so did he. It’s too late now for me, but if you truly love your partner, just speak up, explain, communicate!
Thank you, agi. I have truly tried. She asked me to no longer reach out to her. This was several weeks ago. It’s so hard to go on. I can’t picture a life without her. Most of what I feel now is sadness. I hate having no hope that we will be together again someday.
It really is hard when someone who meant so much to you so easily cuts you off and says they want nothing to do with you, and believe me, there really isn’t anything you can do but give it time, it does ease. And I won’t lie, there will be set backs, but just keep talking to us on here, you will get through it.
This is by far the hardest thing that I have had to deal with. It’s so difficult not having any control in the situation. I just want to make things with her good again.
Iknow how you feel telltale.. iv been with my gf for about 5yrs now we live together in California i left everything for he (including my family back in Michigan) and recently she told me she doesn’t love me anymore and now im fucked.