I’m so tired. I just miss my best friends. This entire thing is bullshit. I’m just so tired, and I can’t keep doing this. I can’t ‘hang on’ because it ‘gets better’. I’ve been waiting so long for it to get better. I can’t wait anymore, I’m just too tired.
Tag:
Tired
Since I was in grade 8, I’ve contemplated suicide. I think about it almost every day, the thing that triggers it is so stupid, too.
I’ll be reading a book, and there will be a scene where the mother is really nice, loving and close to the child.
So, then I start thinking about my mother, thinking about how she’s never said those beautiful, kind, loving words to me. Ever.
Then, it escalates more, I start thinking about more painful memories or thoughts.
And sometimes if I’m lucky, the emotional pain turns slowly into stomach pains, I don’t even know how that works… but it […]
Tired of life, tired of trying, tired of it all. Geezer crispies, no matter what I do or say or anything, I fuck up and no one likes me. I try to help, I try to make them smile, I try to make people forget their problems and what not… it doesn’t work. I am hopeless, worthless, useless, disgusting, stupid, need to go. I’m unhelpful. I’m not able to BE helped. I wish I could just lay down and disappear for life, but, I can’t. I’m too chicken to suicide, I’m too cowardly to run away, I won’t do stupid shit. What the fuck am […]
I live in constant fear, I react to everything in an exaggerated way, I have also hypersensitivity to sounds and to touch.
Low self esteem because psychological child abuses, I am all ways the different guy that everyone doesn’t want to go along. With a neurologic syndrome where is very difficult to identify feelings and other things that makes very very hard to establish relationships with others.
All this drains my energy so much that I fall into depressed states with constant toughts of suicide and stop all this shit. Have attempted before but pain was too much strong that I couldn’t cut just deep enough. Also I […]
Today I had to see the doctor. He upped my medication. I went about my errands ignoring the everyday,past and future stresses that plague my mind, constant racing to be on work on time, get paid this week, please my loved one and not crash and burn. The bustle on the other hand gives my life substance but I feel a balance will fall askew. My job in sales gives me a certain social interaction I have craved in my life but it has also shown me the harsh truth about human kind and their mindset. People and their brains are easily manipulated and like […]
Hey y’all. I’ve been a long time lurker and just decided to make an account. Reading some of the things here seems to help me sleep at night and reminds me that there’s always an alternative to life.
My title to this post is tired of life and that statement couldn’t be any truer for me right now. Fourth of July just past and I celebrated it with my blood relatives, relatives and their friends. The party was at my aunts house and she has a pool and yard for fireworks. Many people would be excited to enjoy the beautiful day out in the sunshine, […]
I have been exhausted and numb for so many years.
I’m absolutely fucked. No one knows but its true. If your read this through than you’ll know but those that know me they won’t know, i’ll make sure of it. I’m 18 years old, just finished high school and going to be starting college next year. This absolutely should be the best time of my life right, or at least that’s what all those movies made me believe. I’m the one in the family that you probably get compared to. The one who is polite and behaves and has never had a boyfriend even though shes smart and easy to talk to. The reality is […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Yiruma-Moon-Light.mp3
I’m tired. I’m just tired.
I’m tired of food. I’m tired of television. I’m tired of work. I’m tired of school. I’m tired of going outside. . I’m tired.
Anytime someone asks how I am, my answer isn’t “I’m fine”
The answer is “I’m tired”
I’ve lost any shred of hope that I might of had. And I don’t see the point.
And the funny thing? I’m tired…but I can’t sleep.
I guess I’m not physically tired. I’m mentally and emotionally tired.
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.
I don’t feel like going anywhere. I don’t feel like talking.
I seriously […]
I’m tired of life, i am so tired that today i forgot to hide my wrist. I am so caught up and lost in this depression that i don’t even know what to do with myself anymore. My mother saw my cuts, she yelled and i yelled. I am now placed in therapy and under suicide watch. I am trapped , i can no longer be alone and that just makes me want to die more. My next cut is going to be deeper and the other deeper and deeper. Am i hurting others? Or am i just hurting myself ? i thought i was […]
Do you ever feel like you are just too old for this shit?!? Too old to tell your story. Too old to make a come back and make it right. Too old to feel this way. I’m creeping up on my 44th birthday and I still cannot find the words to express the horror of my life in particular (and my childhood in general). The words are stuck in my throat, strangling me. I admire people who have killed themselves because I feel like they are so brave. They have managed to do what I never could do despite my semi-best efforts. I try to […]
Life is really , weird , I’m done with with everything . It’s just over , dealing with this shit has made me sick , it feels worse , I’ve lost all my interest in every single damn thing , dealing with the shit your parents are giving u … I don’t understand what the hell is wrong with me ,, this shit is over man , suicide is the only option left maybe.Today I stood at the end of the Cliff , nd yelled loudly . I just wanned to jump off it nd wanted to feel the warm blood […]
Honestly, I am just tired. old, done the same job for 25 years, (Stay at home mother) Â lived in a strange city for the last 18 of them. Not one friend in this whole city. I hurt from age and loneliness. I was someone else when I got here but between him and the kids.. Who am I now? Trapped in the house by my own fears of the traffic. So fat I hurt, yet the pain keeps me from exercising.. Catch 22. I won’t die, I would love to, but how can I? How can I put my husband and kids though that? Yet […]
It seems like I’ve went as far as I can go. I’m at the end of the road. I don’t have any specific plans, though, just that I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m depressed and lonely. I have no job and I have no friends. I will probably be homeless in about two weeks because the rent went up where I live and I can’t afford it. I have no family members near me. We’re not close anyway. I take medication for anxiety and depression but they’re not helping. I’ve also been diagnosed with PTSD and Asperger’s Syndrome. This makes it very difficult […]
I’m fucking tired. I’m tired of caring for people who don’t give a shit about me. I’m tired of waiting for a text that’s never going to come. I’m tired of thinking things will be different, yet they never change. I’m tired of giving out chances, only to be let down. I’m tired of putting forth 100% of an effort and only getting 25% in return. I’m tired of broken promises. I’m tired of let downs by the people who matter the most to me. I’m tired of making someone a priority, when in reality i’m just a number to them. I’m tired […]
wish i cud simply pull out a plug and the whole of my system would go into a deep,uninterrupted slumber from which i would never wake up…
i also feel like punishing myself for being so useless… feel like inflicting pain to numb the feeling of helplessness… i did hit myself on the head and now i have a pounding headache but that doesn’t seem enough…
i don’t know what to do… i don’t know if anything would ever work….
Dear SP friends,
I’m sick and tired of being the good girl. I’m sick and tired of pretending to be perfect. Everyone expects from me good grades, nice dicipline, appropriate language and hopeful thoughts..
But that’s not me. I’m losing myself there. Nobody feels how I feel. It’s so hard to go through the teenage years nowadays. Social anxiety overwhelms me.
What should I do finally?
today it’s different. i dont actively want to destroy myself, to hurl myself off of something high or slice open my arms and bleed out. i just kind of don’t want to be alive anymore. i want to dissapear. or maybe go to sleep and never wake up. i’m sick of hurting. it’s like no matter what I do I can’t relieve this pressure. it builds and builds, and i can let off some of the steam but never enough to make it get any better. i’m just barely able to keep my head above water. i’m like a duck, nobody knows how hard i’m […]
I was reading this book called the Van Gogh Blues. Â It’s all about how creative people suffer with depression because of a meaning complex, and it freaked me out because I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety for years, and I always figured that one day when I create something it will dissipate. Â If creating can’t bring me meaning, then what can?
Everything in my life seems so fucked, which is ridiculous because so much of it is petty or will be unimportant in six months. Â Sometimes I just feel like there’s no point and I’m such a bad person and I should die, but at the […]
The hardest thing is being so tired all the time. They all say to get outside, that experiences are the rungs with which to climb out of these dark times. My armor is too heavy to lift, the joints too rusted to bend, it splinters off, catching under the fingernails of the people around me- invisible and uncomfortable. When I was 9 my father died. When I was 11 my mother’s boyfriend was verbally and physically abusive. When I was 17, the “good man” my mother left the abusive one for cheated and divorced her. By 20 I was the subject of abuse in the […]