Tonight after I get to see my kids I will end my life. I have bought them a gift that will always remind them of me and how much I love them. It is my time to go to end my pain. I love my children and hope they will understand as they are 9 and 10. My two daughters are and always will be my angles!
What I wouldn’t give to have a woman one time tell me she loves me before I go. All I ever wanted was to be loved and be a good father. May those that are here find peace in […]
I have felt so distant lately even though I know my isolation could ruin the few relationships I have, I can’t stop myself. Do they really care? I hope not. So many times I have heard people say that they only want to be loved but all I ever wanted was to be forgotten COMPLETELY. Not in this stagnant state of conditional love. It would make the transcendence so much easier. I linger in the shadows so that I am overlooked and I won’t have to answer questions or ask them. I inquired for help in a moment of weakness, of fear. I have come […]
I want to be loved,
I want to be a good dad
I want to be strong
I want to be creative
I want to be healthy
I want to be happy
I want to be normal
“sorry son. Here’s a beer while you watch other people with those things through this window. enjoy yourself”
What does it mean to love?
I have been alive for 20 years and I don’t know what it feels like. I have been trying to describe this feeling to myself but i feel like i can’t.
To love someone, and to be loved. Not just in a romantic way, but with family and friends.
Like, if you were to ask me if I loved my parents or if they loved me i would say yes, not because i understand this feeling. Just because its the right answer.
A close friend of mine used to cut like myself. But she stopped when she found her boyfriend. It’s like when […]
I feel like my heart has just been stomped on, how could you tell someone you want to fix everything. It makes absoultely no sense to me how you could tell someone you still love them but you go off with their old best friends? It’s like you never even loved me as you said you did. Like why did i even have to care for you? Maybe i wasn’t meant to be loved by someone. I have this thing of giving people to many chances & I’ve now realized it, maybe it’s because I want to see the good in that person. Yet they […]
Like everyone here, im on the ragged edge. I watched a kitten last week for my (gf/ex/dont know where were at anymore) while she was on vacation with her family. Immediately I bonded with that little kitty and it actually helped me to feel a little bit better about things. Just having that companion to come home to. Knowing she was waiting for me. Her chasing me around the house attacking my leg. So I told my mom and sister about it and asked them to keep an eye out for one for me thinking maybe it will help. Today, after work, my sister told […]
I just wrote this for someone…….mainly how they see things looking out to the world…..
Storm in the sky,
Storm in my head.
Layin and cryin,
Tears soaking the bed.
Feelin the pressure,
Feelin the pain.
Heartache and suffering,
Call out my name.
I want to be loved,
Need someone to care.
Cant do this alone,
I need someone there.
Why so much rage,
Why so much hate.
Self destructing,
It seems it can’t wait.
Consumed by my feelings,
Consumed with the guilt.
The pain and the suffering,
Upon my life it was built.
But someone loves me,
I know that they do.
I know who […]
the only memories I have of my childhood are of my father, telling me how worthless I am, calling me horrible names when I was so young. I was 16 when I was finally allowed to make the choice to never see him again, up until then court orders had me there. I was mentally and even physically abused for what should have been my childhood. When someone tells you something so often for so long you really start to believe them “maybe I will never mean anything to anyone, not even my own father loves me” I tried so hard for so long to […]
Me and my boyfriend *gasp* i know, i know why is this little ***** complaining about how life hates her, when she has a boyfriend that loves her?
1. I Feel numb, but he gives me some feeling back
2. He makes me smile and laugh, but I’m still not happy
3. He holds me when I’m crying, but I’m always crying
but the sad truth is my internet friends is that I don’t love him; I don’t even know if i like him. I mean he is the nicest guy you could meet, and he’s handsome, but I don’t know how I feel […]
Everyday my heart breaks more.
The pieces are soon to be shattered.
It’s painful yes.
Do I tell anyone, no.
I’m better off dead.
I’m not anything special.
Just a lost person.
That won’t be finding their way around life.
Pain is getting too much.
I don’t know how to release it anymore.
Don’t know how to cope.
I don’t feel anything but pain.
Pain and heartbreak.
So heartbroken.
That no one truly loves me.
Family hates me.
Hates my style.
Hates my music.
Hates it.
Friends.
Don’t know the true me.
If they did they’d hate me too.
All I ever asked for was […]
Love…
Is it too much to ask to be loved?
Valentine’s Day passed…
I gave my closest friends flowers
So they knew that I loved them
Sincere friendly love
I was hoping maybe, just maybe, someone would get me a flower
Or a Valentine or just something that says “I love you,”
But I didn’t…
They felt guilty about not getting me anything…
I told them it was fine…
Maybe it wasn’t…
And it’s just me being the selfless person I am…
I don’t know….
I just want
Love…
For me Valentine’s day is a day which I love. Why? Because I, myself can give out love. Can make the people around me know that I truly love them. That I’m here for them no matter what. That I will help them. That we will fight together on any issue they have. But in a way I hate it. Why? Because all I want is to be loved. Loved by someone who won’t break my heart. Loved by someone who will help me through this. Loved my someone. Just loved. Is that too much to ask for? It’s all I ever […]
At 12 when I did my first depression, I really wanted to die so badly. Then I found that what I really wanted in life was love. Everything I ever did what for that goal and it’s the only thing that makes me happy. The only thing that could keep me alive, the only thing that would make my life worth living. So yea, I needed to be loved and didn’t try to kill myself, it was some kind of a second chance I thought. Second chance… for what? to feel even more miserable, hurt and dead inside? The only thing that keeps me alive […]
I cry. But then i’m ok. I don’t understand either. I fell in love. He fell in love, But not with me. My best friend. or was. I dont know anymore. They kiss, they hug, they touch, They break my heart one piece at a time. I feel like my hearts in his hands and he broke it then threw it away. And as hard as i search i just can NOT find it. I ruin every opptunity for someone to help me find it. I can’t go on like this. I just can’t.
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