I want to die. I want to leave this place. All I want to say is… I AM SORRY. I am sorry I am so broken. I am sorry I don’t make any sense. I am sorry I am a burden. I am sorry I have gotten in the way. I am sorry for leaving you, but I am also sorry I stayed so long. I am sorry I am the way I am. I am sorry I am sick. I am sorry I haven’t done or said the right things. I am sorry I haven’t tried hard enough. I know this is my fault […]
Tag:
to die
Yet another terrorist attack has happened this time in Brussels. Its depressing. When ever a shooting or attack happens i can’t help but to think why does someone have to lose their loved ones and i have to stay. I get so depressed i can’t help but to want to die. If i trade my life for any person who matters who died in any act of senseless violence i would. It doesn’t feel right at all.
My Heart And Other Black Holes is the book that led me to this site today… Last month I overdosed twice and ended up in hospital. I still want to die. I am scared. I don’t even know why I am posting this on here. I guess I am just getting my thoughts out.
why can’t life be simple ? why do we have to go though so much pain and suffering ? why must the good die young and the rest get left to rot ? why is the world such a horrible place ? How can we find our purpose in life if we don’t even no were to begin ? Why am I fighting to live if I’m just living to die
Life is hard as it is let alone going though everyday depressed anxious and suicidal how much more suffering can one person go though maybe it’s my destiny to die early
I don’t want to do this anymore. Life. Tears. Etc. I’m not going to harm myself, but dammit. Something needs to change. I need to change. My brain. I’m so tired of feeling like this. I just want to die. I can’t take it anymore!!!!
I’m so glad this site exists. I would have no idea how to express myself otherwise. I’m even talking with my dearest friend right now and he also so suffers from depression. I feel like telling him how I feel, but I just don’t want to burden him. I feel like asking him for help, even though I know he can’t […]
Life is always so strange when you know that you’re not going to die of natural causes.
And by strange, I mean that it’s like… Getting a case of horrible stage fright that gets even worse the closer you get. I wonder how bad it’s going to get when I join the marines.
So, I’ve made it clear I’m leaving. I’ve been attacked from every angle. It’s relentless. I’m holding my ground. I won’t back down. I’ll burn this fucking world to the ground.
Where’s this strength coming from? I’m not sure. I will use it as long as it last.
I theorize I’ve never been more serious about suicide. I don’t want to die. So human-drive.
Here’s a poem I wrote through my sons eyes:
Watching out the windows,
Looking out of doors,
Scanning the horizon,
Gaze up to the stars.
Searching for that something,
That has gone so far away,
I don’t remember why I’m waiting,
I remember their voices as I lay there in the hospital bed.
Asking over and over why I did it. Why I took those pills. Why I wanted it all to end.
I remember laying there and for a split second I didn’t know. Here’s these people standing over me, tears in their eyes, and broken hearts beating in their chest.
Whether I were their kid, friend or brother, they all had a sign in their eyes that a piece of them almost died with me.
This is what I think about when suicide comes to mind.
Even if you want to die, you have to take a second to realize […]
Hello everyone,
Just to say that I’m here for you all, if you need to talk just do so! And I know most people don’t even want to die, they just want to be saved..
Just email me whenever if you need to talk about anything: anonyme1625@gmail.com
“Death is never a solution”
I know, you’re like “duh, why else would you be here?” But ugh.
Last night there was a spider on my ceiling and I had a legit panic attack. Usually I kill the spider, but it just made me think about my ex that would save the spider and put it outside. I got on my bed and tried so hard to kill the spider, but I couldn’t. I laid down my bed and stared at the spider as my breathing and heart rate increased. I was thinking that it was a poisonous spider that would kill me in my sleep. But isn’t that what I […]
I am okay. I mean, I may want to die, but I am okay with that. I don’t care about much anymore. It’s hard because everyone wants to help, kind of. They don’t want you to kill yourself. So they tell you how you have so much to live for, how they would feel if you left, how nothing lasts forever. I know nothing lasts forever. I just don’t see a reason to keep going, but I do keep going because I don’t really have a choice. What I wish they would see is that there is pain even when I do keep going.
So i ended up in the hospital in January got out in February and im no longer suicidal unfortunately the only reason that is because of fear fear if i fail at an attempt ill get sent back and if i fail there’s a new worry my mother told me as well that if i end up in the hospital for more than a month then they’ll kick me off my ssdi that means ill have no medical insurance either and as much as I want to die i don’t want to risk failing and losing my medical insurance i need to get it right […]
I’m not to sure why I’m still hanging around to be honest maybe I need to find the courage to try again and plan properly this time ? Isit our destiny to die early I feel like iv lived two life times but I’m still young but I feel so old can people like us recover from being rock bottom depressed anxious suicidal and even attempted ? Or should we give up what r we really fighting for ? A 9 to 5 job is that living ? Do we live to work or work to live ? Why are we this way is there […]
I want to die and the urge is so unbearably strong. Right now, I don’t know whether to leave a note, I have no idea what to write and I’m thinking whether it’s okay to just leave the world without a note. I don’t want people who care (if any) to hurt anymore than they should trying to cope with the loss.
I don’t know..
Are all my problems enough?
Is it enough to die?
Perhaps I’m just a young naive girl, in her depressed years, before she’s a woman. Think she’s the only person and her problems would change the world.
I don’t know.
There a so many people, with so many problems. I don’t know them all. Perhaps their life is much harder, than my life it is and they still alive.
What is a real reason, to kill yourself?
Are my problems enough to die?
I don’t know.
I don’t know if I’ve ever been quite this serious about it before. I’ve known I wanted to die since I can remember, even as a child. I’ve been toying with methods since I was twelve. I’ve come close out of anger and extreme sadness, apathy. But I don’t know if I’ve ever been this practical about it. It’s surreal. Like, okay, this is really it. You will cease to exist now. Everyone will still be there and you won’t be. You won’t know how everyone will get on.
It’s kind of like Andy Warhol said. He would rather watch every party he’s invited to on […]
isit just me I feel like I have no purpose being here on earth I feel alienated I’m just floating though life like a leaf in the wind no real goals just making a mess of things no real meaning to be a live I no life is what u make it but I really haven’t got the energy to keep fighting we all end up in the same place anyways rich poor Healthly etc isit because I’m depressed anxious and suicidal and il been researching it sounds like iv got depersonalisation is that why I’m floating not connected to my body or isit just […]
I have always dreamed of myself dying at a young age and I hope it happens. If someone asked me if I could reverse my birth, I know I would. There is no other possible answer for me. My family always says I’m useless, so why should I be here? I don’t ever get why some people say that life is a gift. Whenever I’m in the car, I always imagine some car or truck crashing into me, killing me. Instantly or not, I just want to die. But the one thing that is holding me back are my friends. My closest friend, we have […]
Isit wrong to say that iv had enough of living ? I feel iv done enough and seen enough life sucks now how the hell isit going to be better the olderI get ? even as I child I didn’t want to live a long life Im kind of greatful I made it to 26 let alone 62 that means iv lived two life times in my eyes thought my time would come when I was 18 I wanted to die then and I still do now a decade later I’m still here by gods will I’ll live up to 99 I bet no physical […]
I sometimes wish to die even though I’m not depressed. I don’t want to sound psychopathic, but I guess I like the word death. I want to get away with this world. I hate myself. I’m fat, stupid, insane, selfish… I don’t actually know my real personality. It changes every time I feel different, or when the place changes. Please, don’t hate on me or something… This is my first post and my only place I can be me, maybe. I hope I can find my real self one day.