One day I will get my happy ever after, but I am so tired of waiting for it to come. Â I wanna take everything in to my own hands and have the life that I know I deserve but of coarse I can’t and I wanna know why can’t I have it. Â I dated a guy for 10 years, I mean seriously you would think he would be my happy ever after but wrong. Â He decided that being a crackhead was more important and I just couldn’t do it anymore I was physically and mentally drained. Â 1 week after we break up he has a […]
Tag:
Top Of The World
I thought you were perfect. how could I have been so very wrong? I trusted you. you lost that trust when you touched me when you weren’t supposed to. I hold in this anger every day. you should have never touched me. I didn’t give you permission. you wouldn’t stop.. I can’t stop remembering the sun on your back.. I was too far away to scream. no one would have heard me.. I tried to push you off. I told you no. I begged you to stop. just STOP. but you got what you wanted in the end. you always got what you wanted.. I was […]
So I was talking to someone the other day and she said that writing letters to people helped her get over her hatred and depression…so yea. I’m gonna write a few letters….
Some of them might be vicious, others may be gracious and kind…but we’ll see after I write them.
Dear Austin,
It’s been 8 months since we started dating.
Remember in the beginning, how it was so easy and carefree? We were on the top of the world. No one could stop us…but of course, they tried. When they told us we couldn’t be together, we did it anyway.
And now look at the trouble we’re […]
I do not know really how long I have been coming here to this website. The archive only goes back to Tuesday Feb 1st, 2011.. I have read a good lot here, I have read a lot of peoples stories. Some are very interesting, some are rather not. I may have posted things here, not quite clear. I don’t think so.
I am a 38 year old man. I turn 39 this May. I doubt I will make it to 40 regardless. I first started in therapy when I was 20 or so, I was still in the Navy then, it was a Navy psychiatrist. I […]
So I heared ketamin works pretty well… I can imagine MDMA will also be amazing, but I’d like to get some more information. I’ve done MDMA.not as antidepressant but as party drug. The plus side of MDMA is the way you feel… loved, one, amazing and on top of the world, for three days. The down side is: your memory gets fucked up, you need to take vitamin c too protect the brain and after 3 days you get this huge downwards spiral… It was probably the worst in my life.
So I have 2 questions for you;
1. What kind of antipressents/SSRI/drugs do you use for […]
So here is my story..
i am a 22 year old female and I’ve never been more lost in my life. I really don’t know why..i have a great family, friends, job etc…but i feel empty, i cant control the way i act, think, or feel. its like someone else takes over and i cant even find myself.  What i find most difficult is to explain how i feel. No words can really express it. I’m usually just all over the place. Say one thing, do another. I’m not exactly sure what i want and I’m very indecisive. i worry about absolutely everything and when i even try to […]
Hello, thank you for taking your time reading my story, just to list some information. Im Norwegian, im 17 years, I am not kidding about my story. so lets begin…
from when i was 13 i started to think: do anyone actually care when im gone? I was thinking ALOT and i’m pretty sure my thoughts where much more serious than other kids on my age back then. How is life after death? Who would cry when im gone? Who would even care? questions remain without answers.
Later on in my life, i got many false friends, actually no real friends.. BUT i’d just carry on, i was sad, […]
Hello All,
I am in a terrible place that I don’t feel that I will ever get out of. Â I was on top of the world. Â Had a very good job, good car, just moved in with the love of my life, new pets, just bought the house of my dreams.
I lost it with one illegal mistake that I made. Â I ended up spending several months in jail, I lost my reputation, the girl that I knew would be there for me no matter what will no longer have anything to do with me. Â I have lost my job, and CANNOT find work no matter what. […]
I got kicked out of my moms house a year ago, and the day since my life hasn’t been the same. I’ve been out for a year now because I called her a ***** because she was being one. That’s it…kicked out for over a year for saying “stop being a ***** for 2 minutes”. I moved in with my grandma (worst fucking decision I could ever make). Day after day of being out in the country away from my friends and family, it hasn’t been the same. I lost all of my friends, and since she’s 5 miles away its a hassel going to […]
Once when I was little I was happy and carefree I used to run around laughing
Until it was time for tea I used to play games And smile all the time I used to feel on top of the world I used to feel fine It’s amazing how things change When people let you down And how that once happy face Turns into a solemn frown
You search and search For someone who cares Anyone who understands Anyone who dares Loneliness, it hurts It kills you deep inside It makes you feel empty It stops you in your stride You cry yourself to sleep Hugging your pillow tight Wishing for someone To hold you through the night Once when I was little I was happy and carefree Now […]
I go from being manic to being depressed. Sometimes a little of both at the same time.
I go from being on top of the world to just wanting to die.
This cycle never ends… Im not sure what it’s like to feel normal…
I wish I was normal, but at the same time I don’t.
I like being manic too much. That’s why I always stop taking the meds. I wish I could be manic forever…
It never ends…
Once I had a fabulous career and I was on top of the world but that all ended 5 years ago and I still can’t move on. I’ve been on different meds and they work for a while but the dark moods always return. I’m too young to retire and too old to find a decent job. I work for selfish evil people who have no respect for me. I sold my soul for a paycheck. I just want to feel good about myself but I can’t make it work. I work to make enough money to send my […]
I don’t even know why I’m here right now, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I hear nothing but the same everyday, tedious, asinine commentary that hums along relentlessly. I have no one to talk to about anything remotely real or of any interest to me. I don’t care about anything; I just want this to be over. All I’m capable of feeling is misery, zombie-like boredom and some fake short-lived ecstacy . I just have no appreciation for life; absolutely nothing makes me feel genuinely happy. I’ve lived my life in those brief moments, however fleeting, and once I come down I only feel worse […]
Yahh. Everyone asks that question. “Are you OK”? What do you think Im going to say? You expect me to just completeley scream out my feelings.. No! Im going to say “Yahh. Its all good”. Well. I used to. But I need to tell someone my feelings.. Im only 12. I live in Florida, and my stepdad and mom moved me away from my family in Minnesota. 🙁 I have a 5 year old little sister who looks entirely up to me.. And my mom is pregnant with a boy now. I want to kill myself. I might. Im in the seventh grade. I went […]