i know that i said that i would wait but i found the key to the trigger lock taped to the inside of the box so tonight is the night I’m going to go get some burger king and a pack of cigs a few beers and finish the job goodbye everyone. ill let y’all know if i puss out at 10:00 tomorrow morning but don’t count on it.
Tag:
trigger
i was supposed to be dead by now but the ATF system was down so i couldn’t buy a gun then i went the next day and it was up again and i bought the gun but they didn’t have .22 bullets so i went to another store and it turns out that there is a shortage of .22 bullets in the us right now i call 10 different stores and finally find a dicks that has some in stock and i go and get them. a couple hours later i prepare for my beautiful death and take out the bullets and line them up […]
you know, I spoke very prematurely when I came out of the psyche ward. In hindsight, all it did was trigger my desire to make friends. Once they all rejected me, it brought out my Borderline Personality Disorder (which was what I was diagnosed with in the ward). I have attachment and rejection issues. What a load of garbage. I wish they would have just sent me home the next day after my suicide attempt. I wasn’t suicidal a day after my attempt and I’m not suicidal now. If I would have just went home instead of going to the psyche ward, I’d be just […]
They had it easy, honestly. Two seconds of pain and now they go out as heroes. Nobody questions anything they did, ever. This universe is so strange. If a stranger shoots us in the head, we instantly become heroes. If we do it ourselves, people call us cowards. Of course there is actually nothing heroic about being shot in the head by a stranger, and nothing cowardly about raising a gun to one’s head and pulling the trigger, but that won’t stop the masses from judging as they will.
I know on my previous post, I talk about how things started to work out for me. However, as expected, my world has crumbled down again, and I’ve found the trigger. My own father. He doesn’t love me, he is not proud of me, all he does is blaming me and being sarcastic as hell to me. He gives this overwhelming affection to my sister, he talks to her, he shows how much he loves her in front of me.
These past couple days, I felt perfectly fine. Today, I feel like shit. I started crying with no reason again, I have this urge to hurt […]
“not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not fit enough.”
It echoes it echoes it echoes
Unwanted, unloved, and alone
You’re sick, you’re dying, and you’re cold
The smell of another doctors office
And another face like stone
The sound of machines buzzing
And you wonder why he didn’t show
Daddy, don’t you care
To know if your little girl will live
Why were you never there?
From sad beginning to bitter end
Mom, you tried your best
You’ll always be my best friend
But I guess I failed the test
It’s time for my greatest sin
Bang
Test the gun
Bang
One more time
A bullet for […]
my friend acts like she has bigger problems than everyone. I’m not discrediting her depression, but considering the fact that I used to self harm and am on 187.5 mg of antidepressants, I think she needs to step back and consider the fact that other people have problems. it’s all dandy to talk about yourself but it’s a major trigger for me to talk about it, so maybe she should save it for her therapist.
i need people who don’t define themselves by their depression.
whoops I’m totally sorry that I decided to share my opinion. I guess this site is for people who want to try […]
It’s getting awful lonely around the ‘bastard’s gentlemen club’
Shambles absolute shambles
It’s a pretty grim dawn.
So, go ahead pull the trigger, light the fuse.
Open the door, step on through.
It’s weird isn’t it?
That instant effect? That blaring distorting?
Zero apologies, no note, no comparative grievances.
This is a French exit of parallel thoughts.
Let’s go back to those hideous wilds with smiles on our faces.
Let’s get stranger again.
How about one last nasty scare before bed time?
One last gasp, one more really good cry.
If only I had a gun, I could have pulled the trigger already. That’s how much it hurts to know I can never be loved and will never get to hold or kiss someone who has ahold of my heart. I want to die now.
There’s a voice in my head i never can ignore.
I hear it every single day, and right now it seems like i want to hear it more.
It sounds appealing to my ears because my soul is gone.
I wish that i could draw closer cause it’s a sweet song.
It calls my name day and night like it is next to me.
And i can almost feel it cause this pain is stuck inside of me.
I swear that one day I’ll pull the trigger to escape this trap.
So i can stop breathing while i take a never ending nap.
Nightmares stay […]
What’s more deadly? A gun or a thought? A gun gives you the opportunity, the thought pulls the trigger.
My cat is my best friend and my mother, my children are awesome but live with their mom, big accomplishment from a 37 year old male! Been completely alone for a few days and have spent much time pondering the remainder of my crippled life. I survived a motorcycle accident in 2011, have T.B.I. that has affected motor skills on my right side. I can go on about how drastically my life has changed in what seems a blink of an eye but who really gives a fuck! I do not want this existence, I’m %100 cognitive, very intelligent but everyday I stare down the […]
I had a strange and morbid fascination the other night concerning a documentary I watched a few years ago…called “The Bridge” and it chronicles suicides from the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s hard to watch; haunting; very sad. What really spoke to me was the story of Kevin Hines, who actually survived the jump. Once he leaped, he was suddenly struck with the realization that he wanted to LIVE and changed his mind mid-air. And that’s what really haunts me…what if once you pull the trigger, or hoist the rope or leap off…what if in that very moment you decide that you don’t want to die […]
I’m out of beer, all I’ve got that might help me are a few norcos, but they fucking suck. I’m done, things have just been getting more and more stressful throughout the night, I swear I’m about to just fucking break down and cry. Why the fuck are people like this? it’s not like any of us asked to have the chemicals in our heads fucked up beyond belief. A car fucking drove by my apartment and I panicked and grabbed a knife because I knew the bastard was coming into my place to attack me. He just kept driving, I knew he would, but […]
It’s interesting how much human sorrow derives just from not having someone to love. Love, such a small word yet so powerful. It changes who we are from the core to the surface. Love is the trigger for every human emotion you can think of; happiness, sadness, rage, confusion. Love can make you feel all those things.
Reading through these stories I notice almost all of them have a common denominator; love. A good percentage of the people here just want someone to love that loves them back. Goes without saying, a little love can save a life. Humans, such simple creatures after all. Much […]
I have had reoccurring depression for half my life, and I am 22. When I was a teenager, I would tell my parents that I was going to kill myself, and this of course would freak them out and I got counseling, then got on medication. The years that followed had me going in a cycle of depression that would turn on and off over and over and over again, with each spout of depression last weeks, and my ‘good’ moods lasting days.
While I was feeling good, I’d say to myself, “What was I thinking? I can’t commit suicide!” But then only a few days […]
This could be a trigger so I ask people who have tendencies to skip this.
I would just like to ask for opinions, thoughts, anything. So if anyone would like to reply, please go ahead. This is not a post about hope but about suicide.
I am 21, I am far from being young and I am far from having what you would call a hard life. I have a degree from uni, I have a roof above my head and all that shit. Yet I still want to die, there is nothing for me to live for. i am a waste of space to everyone around […]
im debating whether or not to kill myself simply because i dont think anyone is there for me like im there for them and i just feel so alone. i dont know if im becoming depressed or not but everyone in my life is constantly making me feel like a sad story and that im not good enough and that i dont belong there . But judt to let you know i probably wouldnt kill myself beacause i dont have the guts to do it. id probably just try to pull the trigger and break down crying.
If it is to keep your life. No warning, i’m pulling a major trigger tonight. Last year 2014 (i know its hard to remember that passed) on september 11th as survivor of war left her suicide note here. Her note ended in the most hurtful self loathing lie that anyone could tell themself. This person’s handle here was trippylikenirvana. The tale she tells so clearly of her most early traumas are left to haunt us not by the images they bring forth in our minds, but by the utter cloud of confusion that formed around her after. This woman experienced a trauma early in life […]
My whole life I’ve felt that I will never live to anyone’s expectations and I haven’t. My sister is really smart and has this good life with her boyfriend, my dad wants me to follow her. I tried but I can’t, I can’t just go through school like it’s nothing I actually have to work unlike her, and I will never marry a guy because I’m gay and I kinda have a fear of men. So no matter what I know I will never be good enough, I wish I wasn’t a coward and hurry up and pull the trigger