At some point in life, you have to take a deep breath and think twice. You have to put aside all the things that made you cry, and look at the brighter things in life. Like going home to love and support, instead of going hold to a homeless shelter because you’re poor. But always be thankful for the life that you’re livin, because you could’ve been just another abortion. Sometimes we don’t see a reason for livin’, because we are raped, abused, and mistreated. So we cut, do drugs, and become suicidal , for some of us the voices in our head can make […]
I’ve lived with anxiety and depression all my life. The only reason I’m still here is because of the love I have for my mom. Recently I have found myself in some serious trouble. To the point that I have lost everything I’ve worked for. I’ll be homeless, carless,jobless, pennyless, and loveless. Just a week ago I had all that. I made the mistake to drink and drive. As a out of state truck driver trying to move from AZ to NY to be with a woman whom I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Of course my dark thoughts got […]
I was laid off of a job four months ago. Since then, I’ve been very sick, I’ve failed several interviews, and have started to take full time accounting classes. I have a fiance of seven years who says what I believe are the worst things you can say to a human. He has told me to kill myself, he has called me worthless so many times, as well as anything else you can think to call someone. He tells me things like, “you’re so worthless to me”, “Oh great, I’m turning into you. I’m just going to be a miserable, worthless manic depressant”, “I used […]
I am a high school senior. I have anticipated this moment since grade school, when my loving parents emphasized how school was my number one priority. It supposedly was supposed to make me get ahead of everyone. But now I’ve realized that’s a lie. I used to be so quiet and focused on schoolwork. Now I don’t shut up in class. I’m funny; I like jokes. I’m terribly blunt and say inappropriate things I immediately regret. My grades are dropping even though I’m trying so hard. My boyfriend insists everyone feels how tough it is this year, and I’m sure they do, but I feel […]
I’ve already figured out how I’m going to do it, I’m just struggling on the when part. Is there ever a right time? I’d do it today but my daughters birthday is thursday. Should I wait till after? I just don’t know if I can bear the pain till then. I know the hold that a death anniversary holds on people so I’m trying to be considerate of that. But like I said, I don’t Know if I can bare to go through another day. I’m so done.
This is my first time using a site like this, i have always felt weak if i tried getting help, i have had depression for 7 years. I have been able to control my bad thoughts most of this time with distraction methods, this only works so much of the time, when I’m at my lowest nothing can distract me from the pain i feel, i struggle to put in to words what it is that makes me feel this way.
The main cause i suppose is my life being an absolute mess, everything i do goes wrong, every time i try and make my life […]
Sitting here in a bed gilded with death, I cant help but acknowledge that
75% of all the people in the world have already lived there best day,
have already felt the very best that they are ever going to feel, and have already made the best of whatever
there was to make of it all, and i’m one of those people. This dosent sit well, its a hard thing
to digest, knowing this relevant thing about yourself,
about your life, and still sucking air.
the cresendo of life leaves us whispering, as it will, every fucking time
So i make heavy toil of not […]
I’m going to jump off a building. My life isn’t even in shambles, which makes me hate myself even more. I got handed what I thought was my dream job. I can’t Handel it, and hate it. I have no backup plan or motivation. All my jobs have been luck, I’m stupid and have no actual skills, hobbies or dreams for the future. Pathetic. All my friends work for the company and I can’t quit. There is no leaving on good terms. I’ve been depressed for months. Can’t stop sleeping. Miserable to be around. Everyone’s advice is to keep trying and figure it out. I’m […]
This was probably my 32nd time trying to end my life… and again I failed… I can never seem to fully break the skin enough to do anything. :'( I just want to do because, no one needs me nor wants me around and I have no purpose nor reason to exist anyway…
I still have a few other ways to try before I officially give up on trying to end my life for good… so far I’ve tried, Hanging, burning, cutting, drowning, electrocution, running in rush hour traffic, and beating myself. And I have done all of these things multiple times… 🙁 And no one […]
Most days, I feel like giving up… I have pets I live for now, nothing else. I sit at work and wish no one would look or talk to me. Most of the time a nasty comment comes from my mouth to lash out, it is all I have left. I am tired of the stares. I have been trying to place my pets, I made a will and am preparing to commit suicide. I don’t know when just yet. I am writing letters to friends and family. And even one to my employer who was the the most cause of my depression and stress. […]
I’m bulimic. Yes I use laxatives, enemas, diuretics, I self induce vomiting and I binge on food. So what! I’m so sick and tired of everyone making it in to a big deal saying I don’t need to lose weight that I’m not fat I am they are just trying to keep me fat so they feel better about there below par bodies. Its not my fault they are determined to drop weight. And I’m sick of them trying to “warn me” that it would kill me. If I wanted to live FAT then yea I would stop but no I want to be perfect. I wan to […]
The more I tried to get help and was honest, it would seem that I hit some sort of systemic punishment. Over the years my diagnosis are getting longer, treating physicians are saying I’m too sick to be accepted, and I seem to get punished by care providers when I’m trying my best. I even went to the best facility in the US for an extraordinarily extended period of time. In the end, I learned that I could not speak my truth and was often demoralized at my attempts to combat my suicidality. Why am I the one to blame when the treatments are not […]
It is amazing how life can fall out of grasp within a blink of an eye. It is like yesterday that I was happy and carefree with the world shinning brightly before me. However, it is not yesterday, it is today and today I feel as if there is nothing for me. The world is not mine for the taking and the Sun has disappeared completely. I’m sad, I’m lonely and I fear it will never get better. Maybe life isn’t for everybody because I may be breathing but inside I’m suffocating. Life shouldn’t be this hard. Living has simply turned into surviving and I […]
I don’t know why I bother going to therapy. I don’t know why I bother telling her the things I can’t talk about with anyone else. I don’t know why I try to get better, because I always find a way to fuck it up.
I fucked up today. It may cost me a job I had been relying on getting offered.
I don’t know what to do any more. I don’t know how to keep trying when I keep making it all wrong. I just exist wrong, and you know, maybe some people do. Maybe I’m just an aberration and I should have got the picture […]
Welcome to The Game,where where is no quitting, no giving up. Once you start, there’s no turning back.
The number of participants can vary.
In this game, you are required to guess, to predict, the best way to help someone. The thrill lies in trying out different methods, seeing if it can work for that someone or not.
And with it comes frustration and annoyance, because nothing seems to be working and the sense of uselessness comes to you, first creeping up behind your back and then engulfing you.
Must…not…give…up…
Just sad. Thats all I am.
This is terminal, isn’t it? As in my time is pretty limited now. If suicide doesn’t get me in the end then anorexia sure will. I guess i’m pleased only im growing impatient. I know of very peaceful ways i can die. And yet i still sit here crying from the pain. I’m on the verge of making an official plan when i’ve only ever gone by spontaneous crisis moments before.
I’ve been in an endless suicidal episode recently. This just has got to stop. Am just trying to make it through this night without resorting to an overdose. Please make […]
I am a diagnosed bipolar, twenty year old girl. And maybe it is just the depression talking. But I am so lost and I’m so on my own. I’m scared.
Fear is my biggest problem. Im so scared of everything. Scared to be on my own. Scared to run. Scared to hide. Scared to fly incase I fall. Scared to risk it all. Scared to die.
To die would be an awfully big adventure.
I’ve sat on my bed on days when I’m all alone in the house. I’ve taken pills, washed them down with vodka. But as soon as it started to hurt i made myself […]
Sorry for all the posts today.. but i needed to write this down somewhere…
I’ve been having these slight and subtle flashbacks to who I was and how my character was before all this mess took over.. I can almost feel that person trying to lighten my spirits.. it has me in tears
Is it real? Or another hallucination.. I’m afraid to let it lead me. I don’t know if it’s the devil in disguise, waiting for me to let my guard down.
How did I even get to this… why did I ever come here? And when I’m not here, why am I this […]
Is it possible that there is a force bigger an even more capable of destroying me than just the society, the world and human beings this planet is.. Like the saying I have heard and used so many times before ‘the universe is against me’ Maybe yes it is yes it really is. I have tried so many times through my life to try and figure out why…. why me, why is this it, why was I born. what is the point of all this the point of life well maybe there is really no point who ever came up with everyone has a purpose […]
I quit my job and moved across the country so that I could afford living without a job while I apply to grad programs. At the same time as studying for the GRE, I got engaged to be married. You’d think it would be a really exciting time in my life, but the same two months I was going to use for improving my GRE score ended up being dedicated to wedding planning. Wedding planning was a nightmare, I felt extremely depressed, and then I would beat myself up for feeling depressed during a time I was supposed to be happy. Oh yeah, I forgot […]