Just an update my car is uncomfortable it does not have good lumbar support lol I’m sleeping in a Parking garage I’m hungry my neck hurts I have no money and I have a continuous headache I took a shower at my gym because I have not yet lost my membership I spend my day going to different subways until they kick me the fuck out so I can use the wifi to look for shit jobs because my data is very low. I’m […]
Hello, whoever uses this site.
A few years ago, I used to post here. Sometimes quite regularly. I’m sat by myself in an empty room, and something possessed me to re-read all my old posts and I thought, why not update my life a little. I’m sure all the people who used this site when I did are gone, maybe even dead. But I do hope that there are still people here.
It’s been almost 2 years and one of the main changes in myself, is that I am appalling at explaining my feelings and emotions now. I am slightly jealous of my old selfs […]
So…after many struggles and trying to lift myself up off of the ground and many blessings, I have finally made it. I MADE IT! I am so proud of myself. As much shit as I’ve been through and I’ve actually made it so far. I lost my dad, I lost my mom to drugs, I lost my house, I lost my dog, I was put in a total strangers house who only wanted me for a paycheck. I made it through high school all by myself. I applied to college all by myself. I am MAKING it. I still have moments where I feel like […]
Todays theme has been 7. Been seeing it everywhere and this update is number 7. How synchronistic.
http://youtu.be/HLyllO4GFVM
Today I want to tell you to dream big guys. If you feel hopeless and dead inside. The key is to pump our faith and hope for a better tomorrow. I know for me when I’m distraught like I was the night with TPHG later into the evening. He encouraged and bolstered my faith by having yet another great conversation. If you have a dream already: make it bigger. If your dreams are dead: be resurrected. If you’re scared to move forward: fuck it. Feel the fear […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmROWzXGyD8
This guy is on my mind…and in my bed lol!
For an update visit my blog at http://amistillill.wordpress.com
I’ve fought so hard and I just can’t fight anymore. The pain has too strong a hold of me and tonight I hope to blow my brains out and be released from its grasp. I will post an update should I be unsuccessful. Good night and hopefully goodbye everyone.
I talked to him about the lack of communication between us; and it took a bit of getting through his stubbornness and thick head, buut, he understood eventually. We’re alright, which is good, he keeps me going. I may not try again after all.
I have no more doubts about my suicide anymore. I know that it’s necessary for me to leave this world to find peace, to end this misery. I’m filling up my time to avoid suspicion or hospitalization at the moment, so I’m just working on becoming fluent in German haha.
Oh, and an update. No matter what I do, it’s not fucking good enough and everyone still hates me. So really, nothing new. I still hate myself. Nothing good enough to live for. I’m always just going to be a failure, a shadow in the dark, good for nothing hopeless freak.
dear sp, i just wanted to come and give an update on my current situation. things have been really sucky and i cannot seem to get ahead. the days are not bad cause i have places i can go, and things i can do. i am able to get on sp from our workforce computer but not at the librarey. they block it for some reason. its been two weeks now sleeping in the car in a walmart parking lot, and it is taking a serious toll on me. tanked really bad yesterday, and was not any better this morning. had decided to return the […]
hey folks, wow, what a crazy, emotional day.sun has gone down,the ex has left, and the anxiety has eased somewhat. we were able to get the big stuff out, and now can cocentrate on the little stuff. the important stuff is safe. how sweet the quiet. how sad the heart.it was good. my son and his girlfriend came and helped. the ex did not bother to tell me that they were coming. totally lost it when i saw him. he was great and really enjoyed having them here. embarrased of course.no self confidence or esteem. basically feeling pretty low. but also relieved. some of the […]
well update is I am taken by an amazing girl .I know I said I miss Stacie and we did get back together but broke up on Tuesday. well now I got a new girl who I adore . she is amazing funny thing is tht my new girl is my best friend … weird right .. but she is amazn and so adorable she is really cute when she gets hyper . ive slipped up and cut a couple times but im fine now b/c of her.
I know I barely post here anymore, but I still come back every now and then to read your stories. I recently read Shephard’s goodbye. He was a great friend to me a while back and I lost contact with him for a while. I need to know if any of you have had contact with him since his final post. I sent him an email, but haven’t had any response. And I know I may not hear from him for different reasons… But I just need some closure. It’s killing me. Please, if anyone has heard from him, or knows if he’s still with […]
Its been around two weeks since i started starvation, this is definetely not a way to go if you want to go peacefully, my body weight is at an all time low, my body is weak and any physical task is hell. Keeping composure at work and acting normal is the hardest of task. Im not sure if im hallucinating due to it, theres always something there edging me on to just finish myself off faster. I often find myself speaking to it or myself, my memories are a bit faded and does not feel like my own. The depression and anxiety remains strong. I […]
Since suicide by starvation alone takes a considerable amount of time, ive decided to drink smal doses of anti freeze mixed into my gatorade, i posted yesterday stating i was beginning the starvation process but ive actually been on it for 5 days so far including today. ive gone fr 170lbs to 161lbs so far and feel like death figuratively, but thats probably due to taking my anti anxiety meds without food. Like many of you i wanted the least painful way to go. I dont suggest these methods. i will update with how the antifreeze affects my body in a couple of days.
Many of you saw my previous plead for help, and lots of you answered the call and it’s much appreciated. I hope you all read my update post from yesterday because I mention all of you and express my gratitude in great length, haha. Anyhow, I’ll keep this short and sweet. I’m going to be making posts like this once every 1 or 2 days, because the more people who see it and share it, the more likely I am to reach my goal.
I really appreciate all of you for caring about me so much, and for donating and/or sharing. It really has […]
Last time I posted on here I was 16 now I’m 19. I still struggle with depression and anxiety I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and panic disorder. I have been to a psych ward and everything. I have overcome my self harm. And now I have a wonderful fiance. I guess I just had to wait for things to come to me. No I’m not 100% okay but I’m not on the same state of mind I used to be. I still have the scars from my 16 year old self to remind myself what it was like before. It is better […]
I don’t know how much longer I can live.
I’ll give you all a final update when I end it.
All I can say is thank you to everyone on this site for an amazing experience.
Thought I’d give everyone an update on life.
Got a small band and we have played a show.
Link is here:
I’m the guitarest. Feel free to check out more videos.
I also have a new number, so if anyone here needs to talk, feel free to email and get the number.
I’m trying to keep my days busy and entertained, so I don’t enter a dark place. If I were to say that I don’t have bad days anymore, it would be a lie. They actually happen often, but I try to distract myself from them.
My email: brl.cents@gmail.com
so update, i know its been a long time since my last one, but here it is :
my cuz kicked me out, after i told her that she is a **** faced lying *****, i went into a treatment facility twice in the span of three weeks, and lost my job because of it, along with a seperate issue, i am living with a friend now, but i cant find a job within walkin distance to help with the bills. and i relapsed tonight severly, i have been toying with the plan to drink a cup of lavender cleaner, i am deathly allergic to […]
Well I haven’t posted on here because I thought life was getting better but I saw I was living for others intead of myself and that I’m alone i feel all broken and weak so now I’m trying to find myself and what I want do because I have to decide which college I am going apply to by December and hopefully I survive my last year of pre med ( if I go back)
Recovery has been hard but I have been clean for almost two years , no drinking no cutting and actually eating so I’m somewhat proud of myself
In conclusion this […]
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