My husband and i were together 3 years before we decided to have a baby. He started cheating on me when I was 5 months pregnant. He left the week of Thanksgiving. Our baby was born early march. Ive tried so hard for my baby boy to make things work with his daddy. I feel like ive failed my son. I had made plans. Wrote a letter to my son. Set a date. Our anniversary…vicodin and alcohol. Then i realized im all my baby has. He doesn’t have his daddy he needs his mommy…but now were talking divorce…hes decided he wants to be in his […]
Tag:
Vicodin
Last night I tried to finish off my life. I’ve always thought about it and the other day I finally made a plan. I left my place and started walking. I began cutting pretty much right away and as I turned down a dark alley is when I took the first Vicodin. I felt it and didn’t like the feeling. I continued walking and cutting and I just started panicking . I finally broke and called my friend. She was going to let me go and I wasn’t going to let that happen. I managed to drag myself back to meet up with them. They […]
Well, I’m the girl everyone thinks is happy. They all come to me with their problems. No one would suspect that I’ve dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts as long as I can remember…
I know the first time I remember wanting to die was when I was 7 years old. When I voiced this thought to my mother, she said she would hit me if I ever said that again.
I remember I was about 12 or 13 when I first started cutting and starving myself. No one thought anything of my rapid weight loss; kids go through stages where they suddenly lose […]
This is coming from an agnostic…but I can verify that there is, in fact, something more. When my partner left me (you’ll excuse how disjointed and crazy this is, it was many years ago) when my ex left me at my best friend’s apartment he asked me whether or not I was “stable” I…of course…answered “yes”. I requested on the way there that we stop at the pharmacy so I could pick up some Excedrin. (I got my Benadryl instead.)  I’d never been asked that question before, nor had I considered myself “unstable” I told him I was fine.  I asked him to take me to […]
Im very young only 14 but you would never guess that Im 6 feet 3 inches and always was the big kid.  My parents sheltered me until i was 7 when my mother abandoned us.  I got depressed but i never let out untill my depression turned to rage i got into fights in middle school broke peoples ribs but got off the hook because i did very well in school one day i was blind sided and broke my foot that’s when i got introduced to oxycodone i got addicted it eased my pain and i calmed down i had to steal money from my dad to get the stuff I later  started regularly poping pills whether it […]
every day i wake up and wonder why cant i just sleep forever?. I am 25 years old have been depressed for the last five years. Over that time i have started cutting and have on 2 Â occasions i have tried to end my life. the first time i tried to hang myself but the rope broke. The second time I took a full bottle of Vicodin then then tried to shot myself but i just was not able to pull the trigger, my mind told its ok the pain pills will kill you. I woke up 2 days later. I can see no end […]
I have a friend.
Well, yeah, I guess you could call her a friend. Her name is Margie, or at least that is what I’ve always called her.
The first time I met her she was nice. I liked her. Even had a crush on her for a period of time.
She was my freshman homecoming date, but only as friends.
We went to a football game a few weeks after that. Her and two other friends of ours.
She smoked weed. But I didn’t know that until we were in the forest behind the bleachers with a group of people, passing around a bowl.
I think it was a bowl. […]
i have had three attempts.
!. od on vicodin, got sick, pain for over a week following, think i did permanent liver damage
2. od on ativan/ambien, friend called 911, transport to hospital, don’t remember much, forced to drink charcoal, hospitalized in mental ward
3. strangulation, friend found me, cut tube off my neck, damaged throat & had difficulty swallowing
if i try again i am going to drink a lot of alcohol, take a bottle of of ativan & hang myself from a bridge near my house. i have the rope and i have been practicing tying noose knots. i’m pretty good at it now.