I never liked drinking or smoking weed or any other drugs for that matter,hell i never even liked to party.I always liked being alone,me and the tv or reading a book or video games, whatever. I never even liked women that much, but i know for sure im not gay (no offense) but even the act of sex seems evil and strange to me???? I dont think im from this planet
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Video Games
It’s gradualy filling up.My heart is turning jet black,I just feel it.It always felt so empty but now the void is replaced with hatred and disgust.Hatred for my own kind.Hatred for myself most.I’m such a trash.A trash that live in this dump called earth.A dump filled with being I consider trash as well,all piled up together.
I just can’t feel contempt,I can’t be happy here.The only thing that kept me here so long are video games,pathetic as it may.I’m tired of wasting every days away on those stupid games so my poor little self don’t have to think about anything.I achieve nothing everyday.
I just hate humankind.
I […]
I have pushed so many people away from my life… I’m so sick of being fake around people… if I’m genuinely not happy with myself I don’t want to be around others nor do I want to bring them down… I just want to be left alone to deal with my own emotion and problems.
Being Adhd and Autistic isn’t easy for me, during my teens I’ve done a lot of drugs as an outlet to help me express myself since so much I felt I was suppressed through society, school, parents…Â even though now I don’t smoke or pop pills anymore I just don’t feel […]
That feeling of nothing where I move from place to place not smiling or laughing, not caring or caring.
Some would call this being present. Present and detached. All the demands made on me are met with silence. Even my own needs are met with silence.
Though I feel like crying I’m just to lacking in anything to do so. If tears fall let them for they will not affect me.
I’ve always been able to relate to some other in some small way, but very very few the other way around. And it’s ok now because it no longer affects me.
Like a favourite movie, […]
My depression has returned.Â
I’m cracked, very close to my breaking point. Maybe I should break already. I just need an extra push.Â
I finally got over Nycolle a few weeks ago and as I basked in the sunshine, Jasmine, my cousin, broke up with me. It would have been our 1 month anniversary….Â
I love her so much, at first, it was so unreal, and I felt so numb, now I’ve begun to become more irritable now. My brother who knew about us, he doesn’t understand I’m pissy and pisses me off a lot.Â
I try not to get angry, but it just phases me too easily. When […]
So yesterday my mom decided to pinch at my zits because I am ugly as hell. I naturally dislike this since it hurts a ton. Well needless to say she got all pissed off, and that got me upset also. So she makes me apologize for being angry and I do so but not actually caring. So she yells at me some more and tells me to fuck off. I go up to my room and start reading some Zelda manga. That helps me forget about whatever bad things happen, so I like video games. So my mom comes upstairs and interrupts my ritual, and […]
Done. Nothing to live for. Not going to bother being alive anymore. I realize I have no other person in my life who cares about me. I had another awful day today, and I just realized that not a single person cares to comfort me. I ran through the list in my head. My mom is self-absorbed, and suffers from crippling emotional problems, so she is never someone I confide in because she does understand how to properly deal with other peoples’ emotions. My immediate family are rich businessmen and women, who believe that pain is for the weak. My few close friends all use […]
I am a recent college graduate. I want to go on Facebook, and message this person from my year, and tell her that my life has been a lot of bullshit since graduation. I know this is a bad idea for a number of reasons. I just really want someone to tell me that their life has been a lot of bullshit as well. I just want to make a connection with someone. In truth, I have two good friends, but they don’t like to listen to my problems. They also spend most of their time absorbed in video games, and while I am a […]
i wanna become an actor/ err maybe an astronaut/ psychologist….eventually when i get better
I have ADD, severe social anxiety issues, i’m scared of people I’m a high school dipout due to loosing friends/paranoia (i have one close friend)from depression due to selective mutism, Im paranoid, some OCD, I’ve had a past some mild sexual abuse…I’m a loner, use to be suicidal, use to think of it everyday but now im better.(i’ve attempted it),I might have avdp, and maybe social ptsd I can be really sensitive but I always bounce back. I’m a mad genius, usually a step or two ahead. I am kind of random, […]
Every once in a while, my mom notices I’m lazy and won’t even call my dad to pick me up. She says I am selfish that I dont do anything for anyone but myself. I believe I am. Im not sure who i am anymore. I feel uneasy and unsure about everything now. I don’t know why though. I think I’m bipolar, but a few months ago i thought i had insomnia cuz i didn’t sleep some of the time.
Now Im unsure again, my mood is a bit erratic or unsteady. But it might be that i play video games and become easily irritated and […]
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