he gave me everything and nothing all at the same time. i was absolutely convinced that i was in love with him, that he was the only one who could ever truly be with me. because he told me so. he told me that he was the only person who could ever possibly understand someone like me, the only person who could truly make me happy. it was a falsity, to say the least. a sham. i bled for him. i destroyed myself for him. i gave him every ounce of life that i had left in me until i was running on empty. […]
Tag:
Violence
Talk to someone about something relevant, and most people will respond like they are not interested.
People that prioritize their fantasies at the expense of the reality of things are, sadly, the byproduct of a lack of education, cultural indoctrination, or more drastically, some genetic outcomes, being a victim of violence, extreme poverty, sickness, addictions, to name a few…
Now try to fix or to solve a universal, a global, a regional or a local problem, because that idea you got is closer to an optimal state, clearly realistic, and/or overall less or not problematic at all. You will be stopped, discouraged, even […]
I know its wrong to want to hurt someone… But why do I feel so strongly about it? Every time I hear SHE’s with the man I love (my ex)…. I want nothing but to rip her eyes out and slice her throat…. I don’t know whats wrong with me…. I’ve never wanted to hurt someone up until now…
My name is praful raj.
I am suffering from torture of this world.
I came on this earth on 24th april 1995 at 8:10 PM (GMT 5.50).I was born in an Indian state i.e Andhra Pradesh in Telangana region in a city named HYDERABAD.
I want to commit suicide because my mother,father and brother hates me.
BUT i still love them.I am a hard worker.I study very hard to get *** marks.But my family wont support me and they always discourage me.They say me that i dont have any caliber or intelligence.They always join me in an institution in which rote learning is preferred.And i hate rote learning.They dint […]
I can’t exactly say when it started because I don’t know, my life has just been full of bad events snowballing until I finally released it all.
From a very young age I felt alienated from everyone, I felt that nobody was like me.
It didn’t help that I had a young mother, she had me at 14, Â because I felt that she wasn’t approachable. Also, she was often getting into new relationships which involved a lot of men. I found it very hard ad still find it very hard, to connect with new people so this was an issue for the first 5 years of my […]
hiiya, my name is *insert worst name in the world here*. i am 14 years young. i hate violence and the world. i do not understand why poeple are so mean all the time. im blonde. i have blue eyes. some of my friends call me dimples cause i have really big dimples. i cut. im sorry. i try my best tocover them up. and it works. i couldnt care any less about being popular. im to worried about music. im in love with nevershoutnever and my chemical romance. ilike fallout boy and panic! at the disco to. i have to buy new head phones […]
Hi again..
It’s little old me.
I figured I would continue my story seeing as it has been really weighing me down lately.
So, uhm, yea, here I go…again..
Things continued that way for awhile, but then things got a little worse…or a little better depending how you look at it..
My mother and that guy got into fights, a lot, and very bad fights..
When I close my eyes I the silence, I can still here the shouting, screaming and the faint sirens in the distance..
Anyways, they ended up taking some time a part from one another, that would be good right?
It […]
I don’t understand why I feel this way. It’s like no matter what I do I am still a pathetic worthless piece of trash who deserves to be beaten and raped. I am 22 now and my life should be better I haven’t talked to my step dad in 7 years. I thought I was better now. Last spring I was raped by two strangers and ever since I have been lashing out at people. I want them to hurt me because if I star it then the only person I have to blame is me… The down side is that now I just want […]
i want to tell my story, i want people to know the real me.
What I remember most from my childhood is violence, fights , tears, fear and harassment.
I remember I was afraid to go home because I did not know what was happening at home.
4 years ago I was raped by my brother, It happened many times over one year.
The only thing that stopped him was that he moved..I was young and did not realize that it was not appropriate..
I have met him many times after, but I do not understand how he can look into my eyes and pretend that nothing has happened..
A few years later my dad […]
Bitter, broken dearest
Can only sullenly repeat
How hurt she is, the pain she feels
Like babe suckling at teat
Slashes at her wrists
Like a toddler with a knife
Yet expects you to acknowledge
The hell that is her life
Tis the ones just like her
That leave me only silence
The ones that are those proud to wear
Their suicidal violence
Yes your pain is justified
And your wounds are real, I’m sure
But witnessing your selfish acts
Makes me want no more.
They drove me to ignore
The hands, the words, the plea
Bitter, broken darling
I blame you for losing me
I know that for a lot the new year doesn’t seem like it is going to be full of great things or maybe so far the year hasn’t been good. Just keep positive because I have been there and I know what it feels like to be completely alone and wanting everything to slow down and stop. Sometimes no matter what people said to me like ” don’t worry, this will pass” or ” ignore what others say” or the best..” this is just temporary” ended up pissing me off more because when it is you personally going through a rough time no one knows […]
I guess we all have different reasons for being here. For me it keeps coming back to the same thing: I’m not convinced that life is a good thing.
All living things are born with some sort of survival instinct. But has anyone rationalized why we should want to live? I think it’s just some sort of selfish programming, like the desire to take whatever you want. In the case of taking things (stealing), we’ve learned to suppress that instinct. Mindless carnal instincts like rape & violence are mostly suppressed too. But still there’s that ridiculous “self preservation” thing that nobody ever questions.
Maybe I was born […]
I’m going into this thinking that I’ll seem stupid or that people are going to shit on me. Trolls seem to exist everywhere and they’re probably on this site too. Also, I ostensibly have a great life, and if/once I can manage to get my act together, I’ll probably be a very happy and successful man. No history of sexual abuse, no awful violence, little to no economic hardship, etc. I went to a good college and, until recently, was in decent jobs that provided me with living wages. Under the surface, though, I feel like I’m losing my head and I’m not sure what […]
I’m sick of them saying to me “All that matters is that you’re ok” or “well thank god you’re alive” . No. Just stop leave me alone with your lies, I should have died that day. “At least your alive” for what ?! To live with the pain, insults, complaints, threats, beatings, verbal abuse, yelling , hitting I just can’t take it anymore . But hey at least I’m alive( to suffer). I don’t even know why I’m here, I’m tired of everything and everyone . Living a life I don’t want or feel satisfied in , I hate living in society and doing things […]
Hello folks,
I came here because I was really desperate and thinking to kill myself but something made me change my mind.
What?
I felt the injustice that others want to kill themselves, and the ONLY reason is despair, misfortune, violence and loneliness.
Not a deadly disease, not feeling dangerous for others.
No, just VICTIMS.
IS NOT FAIR! IS AN INJUSTICE
I would like, I want! to help everyone to stay alive AND have a better life. I have to do something for this.
IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.
This give me the reason to live. I cannot find reasons to live just for myself, but I want to stop all this, and […]
Well, first, sorry for my bad english…
My life is horrible. I never had nothing… I always be different; In the worst way. When i was a kid, my sister and my cousin excluded me. My parents always fighting and my father never really like us. He just wanna get out, and one day, he goes. But unfortunately, leave took a long time. All starts bad…
I think that one day, i´ll be happy and that all was just a bad time. But not. Grown up that way destroyed me. I think that i am one of that people who born to never be loved for nobody. I […]
I don’t know why I’m writing this, maybe it’s to release all my feelings somehow but I don’t think it’ll make a difference. I didn’t have a great childhood. My parents always fought and my dad was/is abusive. It hurt to see him hurt my mom and my two younger sisters. I used to care that he hit me but I got used to it and I just wanted to protect everybody else. Heck, I used to crave him abusing me because in my head that meant scars, bruises, belt marks. Evidence. I hoped that one day it would get so bad that someone would […]
(A poem I wrote awhile ago)
I am not one to speak
when I am out of turn
I have been taught to listen
to listen and to learn
Fore if I were to speak my thoughts
Oh, the glares I would recieve
because I would speak the truth
not these lies you all believe
But I will stay silent
my mouth will remain closed
many will frown upon
the choices that I’ve chose
And I will walk away from words
and walk away from violence
the only thing that I will do
is live and die in silence
Tonight we had our own “fight club†for the first time. I got the text invitation just as I was thinking about swallowing all the pills in my medicine cabinet…it seemed like a nice alternative to a suicide attempt, so I agreed. Call them odd for emulating such an idea, but it beats the hell out of pumping iron at the tool cage on the ASU Tempe campus, I guess. There were only six of us behind the abandon furniture store across from the tracks, but it was more than enough to get things rolling. The energy was immense…like doing lines of blow at the […]
I feel like dealing with not being loved is so much harder than dealing with an act of hatred or violence. I was molested as a child and beaten for years, but the scars that remain aren’t from those acts (which came from my brother), but from the fact that I never felt loved as a child by my father and brother. That’s the hurt that I have to live with and that has wrecked my self-esteem.
My father never did any fatherly things with me, like kick a ball with me, come watch me play, do homework with me or anything like that… He always made […]
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