Its coming up to 4-years sense we lost you bro I miss you so much, So much as happened in that time most off it as been for the bad after you died watching you take your last breath killed me inside.  it was not long before you Nan and Granddad went I’ve lost so many loved ones I could no longer cope with day to day I lost so much my job my home most off my mates don’t want know anymore and the man I was meant to marry but life like that it gives and takes just seems it takes more […]
want
Life has always pushed me right to the edge and sometimes over the edge but just enough to let me cling. It’s hard its exhausting I have given up and sometimes still want to. I don’t really love myself or care about myself, I just try to make decisions with my best interest or to my benefit I guess. But I’m empty and inside me is a pain so great that everyday lately it’s a battle to try to keep it boxed up. It sucks to be this way to be aware of the pain your hiding and feel numb to not care if you […]
well, this sucks. I can’t go to anyone. And I’ve been clean for so many months now and I really don’t want to go back. Someone saw me writing on here and I don’t know. Just don’t feel safe again. I feel like I’m gonna do something to myself if I’m ever alone
Just what the fuck do you want?! Whatever I do, or do not do, I am damned in your sight, a blight, a failure, a mistake. How would you feel if I had come home in a box? You want everyone to think you’re so loving, compassionate, dutiful but the truth is, you’re a *****. You piss everyone around you off, you have no tact, no filter, and yet whenever I imply such you say, “you’re the only one that thinks that!” LIKE HELL I AM!
I don’t care any longer what anyone says to you. After nearly 1/4 century of living with your bullshit, I’m […]
Is it possible that this entire human world is completely upside down in its beliefs, and in fact life is a bad thing; death is a good thing; and suicide is the act of an enlightened soul that has come to this awakening?
What do humans live for? Ostensibly to contribute to life. To make life better for themselves, their families and other humans. Longer, happier lives for everyone.
The same thing can be said about an acid trip. You want it to be a happy one. You want it to last as long as possible. You want to share it with your friends. But in the […]
Home for a 3-day weekend. Last time it was a week and I was left entertaining and flirting with the concept of death. Anything, really, to keep from having to take part in the shameful charade any longer. You come home. We sit in front of the TV, we ignore and tune each other out as we stare listlessly at the screen for hours on end.
Is that all that life has become for you? Don’t you want to talk about anything of substance, anything at all? Why can’t you just be civil for once? Why is every word out of your mouth an insult, a […]
I’m alone. and maybe it’s better this way. I told the guy I’ve been in love with for almost a year now. to leave me alone. I’ve isolated myself from my family. I can’t even find the strength to get up and go to school for the last two days. I don’t want to go back on anti depressants. but I don’t know how to be okay right now. a part of me feels like it’s missing. I said things I didn’t mean but I know they were better to say then try make people understand the truth.
i still don’t want to live. i still […]
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, boring & mundane, nothing that interesting!
I hate life. I hate people. I hate this world. I hate reality / real world / real life, they are all too boring/mundane for me, and I’ve found almost nothing that is interesting in this reality/real-life/real-world anymore, also in MOST people/humans!
the majority or MOST of human beings/people in this world I’ve found to be either a bunch of stupid, shallow, superficial, ignorant, selfish, rigid, stoic, lifeless, uninteresting, uncreative, and/or boring / mundane ones.
maybe that’s why this “reality” (or “real world” / “real life”) or our society currently is sooo f*cked up now almost beyond help!
with only VERY FEW exceptions of: real-GOOD, honest humans/people, real […]
I didn’t kill myself today, no thanks to you. I survived today and everyday before leading up to today on my own. I did that for you. I know you want me to be here, even if I don’t. But if it’s so important to you that I be here, even if I’m in pain, even if every minute is a struggle, maybe you could stop fighting for the other side? It’s hard enough to fight this on my own, by myself. Having to do it in spite of you only makes it harder. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this, […]
Just a few minutea ago i had a big fight with my mom, one of the most biggest fights we ever had, this was the second time that in a fight, i do selfharm, i feel it is a way to calm a little, i don’t want to, i was trying to let it behind, but i’m too weak, too stupid to get over it.
http://sunny-quietinside.blogspot.in/
This is the link to my blog. soon, if time allowed, i’ll be posting my story too. i want to lose everything i consider sacred in me or secretly feel proud of.
have you ever noticed that we suffer only when we know that “We” are suffering. you wanna own suffering, just like you wanna own anything else. oh this feeling of existing, of being alive is great, so tempting that one is ready to give his life for it. oh the lust of life! in me these two desires keep fighting simultaneously – to get into life (and thus suffer) and to get out of it. i have no reason to choose the former one, not a single reason, and yet somehow that lust is so much that i give in to it. i know a […]
all that they want from me is to play my part in social gatherings. they don’t want to be embarrassed because of their son. how do they see me? just another dot in this social web. i have all kind of social strings attached to me. i’m a position holder: a son, a brother, the heir of this fucking heritage. and they don’t give me required powers either. they think of me as some lowly being. fuck i hate them so much. just let my sister’s marriage complete and i’m gonna show ’em who i am. just just let me get the opportunity.
why do […]
There was a suicide blog named wantdeath.blogspot.com
Is anyone aware of that website? it had a shoutbox! That was the website that saved my life! and many others around the world who are suicidal and want a way out! I had actually made friends there :(( and now the website is gone  :'( I wish it comes back again
So I sit here in a class
no one notices what I do
no one
I sit alone with no one by me
like I like to sit but how I hate to sit.
That empty feeling of being alone will always linger.
No matter what.
Even if I sit with my friend or my girlfriend.
I will feel alone.
It won’t go.
It’s madness that I can’t escape it.
I want to escape it more than anything but I can’t.
I just can’t hurt my girlfriend who is depressed on her own.
Every time I try to go she can’t take it.
I can’t stand hurting her.
I just don’t understand.
She would be better without me right?
I know it.
She’s […]
Hello everyone,
First of all, thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.
I’m new here. That is, this is my first post here, but I have to admit that I’ve been lurking here for a while. I found this site a couple of months ago or so, and while the fact that this site exists at all makes me very sad, and I sort of feel bad for posting here, it seems like this is the only place where I’d be able ask for advice on something I’ve been struggling with lately. But first of all, I’d like to mention that English is […]
I’m severely depressed
and have epilepsy
not a good combo.
I tried to kill myself 9 times in my 15 1/2 years of life
I reached the edge once
I could see a light
my life was flashing before my eyes
then when it was to late
I realized I didn’t want to die.
I realized I shouldn’t have drunken that paint thinner.
It’s amazing that I’m alive.
I still have my occasional thoughts
then I remember
for every bad thing
it seems like something good followed.
I thought I knew what I was going to do in life, but now I don’t really know anymore. All my life has been laid out by my parents long before I knew what I wanted. I’m so close to giving up, and I don’t know what is keeping here. Trying to be the best all the time has gotten tiring, and I just don’t care about anything anymore. The only reason I’m here is because I’m scared of what happens it I don’t succeed. All of this seems so pointless and I just want to give up …..
I wish I had someone who cared
I wish I had someone who would wipe away my troubled tears.
I want someone to keep me up high,
even when I just want to die.
Everyone has that person they need,
of course everyone except for me.
I yearn for the love of truth,
the person who was destined for me ever since birth.
Stay strong, he’ll say at the end of every goodbye,
but the joke’s on him, because he’s the reason I’m still alive.
I wish I could have the one, who will love me for me,
and not care for scars.
I wish […]
One hour. You said it was going to be ONE. FUCKING. HOUR. I waited and waited and waited some more, tried to call your cell & never got an answer. “I’m still here,” I said, “in case you forgot to come and pick me up.” I waited more, God knows I lost count how long.
I said to myself, Fine, if you don’t come and pick me up when you say you will, you can come and pick me up at the fucking morgue! I was tempted, just a bit, to walk out into oncoming traffic, or climb over the balcony railing and jumping off. But […]