Hi everyone. I am new so I will introduce myself but I’ll try to make it short. I’m a 23 year old woman who was diagnosed with depression and bi-polar at age 13 . It has been an ongoing struggle for me ever since. I frequently self-harm and have attempted suicide three times in the past. I also suffer from bouts of binge-eating and anorexia. Through the years it seems that when great things happen to me, they always end in disaster and I end up in a worse spot than i had been before that good thing happened to me. And each time it […]
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want
I want to die I am so sick n tired of life I really need someone to talk to… 🙁
Maryam_bi@hotmail.co.uk
just siting here. blade in hand. unsure wether or not i WANT to feel that great release. that’s different. to want something. I’ve never wanted to, just had to. and now I can decide.
There Is one thing that will keep me here and It’s pretty pathetic.Well actually two.Getting back with her will give me the “want” to wanting to live cause I’d live happily with her.The other thing Is the number one draft pick.(Feel free to laugh haha)If the Texans don’t pick Johnny Manziel I don’t wanna go on.This reminds me of the superbowl last year.If the ravens didn’t win,I didn’t wanna see tomorrow.Being from Houston and being a huge Aggie fan,I would love to see Johnny touchdown In a Texans uniform not no damn Teddy Bridgewater or Jadeveon Clowney.For the record Matt Schaub Is my franchise qb […]
I’m a disturbed individual, but what else is new.
lately, on my worst days I’ve been fantasizing what would happen to my corpse. Â I don’t want to rot in a box to turn into some lifeless fossil, nor do I want to be left as dust in the wind.
All my life, I’ve failed. I don’t deserve a noble burial. No one should cry for me in a church. I don’t deserve nor want a blessing or ritual.
my only request would be to be a useful corpse. Lab geeks and scientists can pick at my organs, nerves, or bone; or my molecules and their electrical charges be […]
A new one came in today
Another drugged up junkie high on his last paycheck
Can’t remember his name, in a few days it won’t matter anyway
Bragging about his last score, his last binge, the best place to get more of the drug that leeches the life out my people
How can he talk like that? How can he boast about this destructive lifestyle of murder and morphine? Is he proud? Is he proud of where it’s gotten him? I look at him with disgust. That drug. That evil fucking drug that has destroyed thousands of lives, my friends lives, my life, and he’s […]
I fell apart today leaving work…
It was a bad day and it left me feeling hollow inside when I walked out the door and you weren’t there to hug me and tell me that everything would be okay. I’ve met some good people, and someone our story has saved some of them…but I still don’t understand why you have to be gone forever. It just isn’t fair. I know life isn’t usually fair…but this is just such a cruel fate that I don’t know if I’ll ever completely heal, especially not when every little thing rips the wounds right open again. Having all the […]
I fell apart today leaving work…
It was a bad day and it left me feeling hollow inside when I walked out the door and you weren’t there to hug me and tell me that everything would be okay. I’ve met some good people, and someone our story has saved some of them…but I still don’t understand why you have to be gone forever. It just isn’t fair. I know life isn’t usually fair…but this is just such a cruel fate that I don’t know if I’ll ever completely heal, especially not when every little thing rips the wounds right open again. Having all the […]
Crazy thing is I feel so alone yet I’m surrounded by people. I feel like noone understands me or what I’m going thru. I went thru a recent break up and she won’t move out. It kills me every time I see her and can’t hold her or do the things we once did. I did my best to push her away and now I want her. Crazy right?!
i don’t think you understand
i don’t think you know
i know you don’t understand
i don’t know if you know
i think you don’t
hopefully not
even though i do want to tell you
but you can’t know
you just
you can’t
im sorry
i just made the previous post i apologise for my behaviour yeh i was in a deep coma for over a week and near death i came out of it i went into it with such megolomania and expierences i cant explain but i still want to say i feel and know in my heart nothing is to fear and love is forever no point going into it looll
even without saying anything people can find out the truth. we all have that one secret that will break someone’s heart. I had many secrets but didn’t want people to find out. there was only one way out of all this. suicide. but I didn’t have the courage to kill myself. so I found another way out. self harm. I never knew that one cut would lead to so many. I had problems at home the only way out was self harm. people hated me at school they would call me all sorts of names and all their words got to my head and would […]
Heard a song on the radio earlier, the lyrics were – ‘i want to get away, i want to fly away’
It made me think, how many of us want to just get away from it all, i know i do everyday. Just to leave all the pain and sadness  and never look back.
I suppose it’s a nice dream for when things get dark.
I’m 34 and my love life can summed up easily; always the friend, never the boyfriend. I have never been a woman’s boyfriend. After a few dates I end up just their friend, or friend with benefits. Yes, in the end I was being used, but I was content with this, content with being unlovable. I was fine on my own.Â
Then it happened, a woman wanted me as a boyfriend! After a couple months in this relationship I had to make a choice, to fall in love or not to fall in love. She kept moving the relationship forward, she seemed into me. So I […]
Ugh, why couldn’t I just die properly Saturday? Seriously, I attempt to overdose on pills and wake up on a hospital bed under suicide watch, this fucking blows. I don’t want to be here, I want to be dead. I might as well be dead, it’s not like I’ve got anything or anyone to live for. No family, no friends, no dreams, nothing.
Isn’t that pathetic? Being a 16 year old lonely high school dropout living off a trust fund, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, I guess it’s almost like I’m my worst enemy. Oh well, that’s the way it’s supposed to be.
I’m sixteen, afraid of death but overcome by thoughts, people, judgement. I used to be mad all the time but now? Sad, depressed, not a full day I can say I’m proud of myself, that I’m accepted and that’s fine, I don’t need highschool opinions/rumours. I don’t want to die but I don’t want all this stress, of the future, of the past, of people. Forgive me for boring you.
Whenever i look around me, i see people smiling, people hugging, people caring about each other. i guess im just another stupid girl though. i fell in love with a boy who goes to the same school as me. i see him every day and it hurts me because im still tryin to get over him. he sees that im in pain but he goes on acting like nothign is wrong. i try to find the courage to talk to him but all i end up thinking about is death. i dont want to keep on with this pain. i want it to finish and […]
Dearest Dear Friends and Family Hello Friends Dear Family
To Whom It May Concern:
Where do I start with this letter? Maybe I should start at the beginning… It’s a good place to start, I guess. For the past five months I have been sad, depressed, suicidal. For the past five months I have guided myself, comforted myself, and hurt myself. I have a friend. It’s a he. I know. Woah. Don’t go all protective on me though, because he has helped me through this journey and I hope he still does. For the past five months there have […]
i want to scream, but not really. i hang my head down in defeat.
I’m sitting here looking out this window, watching the world pass by. I see people driving by, working, laughing and holding hands the truth is I feel nothing but emptiness. I feel alone, I feel like a failure, like a nobody. The fucked up part is that I’m staring out this window thinking of you and wondering if I even slightly cross your mind. But I know you aren’t your thinking of yourself, and me I’m thinking of how I failed you. I can’t save you and it’s killing me, I want to die because I’m worthless. It’s over for me because I couldn’t do […]