Feeling so guilty over the fact that I’m going to disappoint my parents(have to break some bad news) yet again! it’s killing me inside and now is making me think to kill myself physically too! I was doing about okay when this piece of news dropped on me.. its my life story..when things are about to go okay there will be something to kill off any progress..
hate my life and truly want to see the end.. life is not worth living
I feel like I’m about to break up, it’s just too much in my head. I wanna die and leave, fast. Please.
I’ve been away from SP for a long time and I deleted all my posts the last time I was around a long time ago and decided to be strong and not think about sucide. I’ve been strong and managed to stay strong although life throws increasingly amounts of shit at me. Last month before the new year I went out with my old time friends, yes, I had even managed to talk again to my friends and make new ones. Things were hooking […]
you don’t want them behind the wheel, but you don’t want to shove them in the trunk either.
Hey. I’m back again, and so soon. I don’t know…I’m just getting worse. She doesn’t even care about me anymore…I want to tell her that I want to kill myself, but I’m not sure she will care. I’m laying in bed right now. I didn’t go to school today because of a neck injury. It’s common sense that I’m not going to tell anyone this in real life, but the injury is because I tried to strangle myself. I figured it wouldn’t work, but I suppose it was just trying to relieve some of my frustration. But the injury kept me home from school today, […]
i don’t get it. why am i not good enough? why does he not tell me he’s cheating. he is. i know he is. he knows i know, so just admit it. why can’t i break up with him? he was supposed to be my sanctuary. now he’s my pain. i can’t go or be anywhere with him because i know what he’s doing. this sucks. can’t i get some peace? happiness? should i leave? it’d probably better – for both of us. he could be with the person he wants to be with. he won’t have to worry about hurting me. he can be […]
I want to be/look like a club girl
I’ve seen throughout my life a reoccurring cop out argument and honestly the only argument happy go lucky people bring to the table. Well its your “choice” if you want to be miserable. “That’s your choice to look at things that way instead of my way, and that’s why you’re miserable.” That’s basically saying there’s only one mindset that works in this world and that’s whatever the hell works for them which they always fail to explain. Are you kidding me? Really if you think about it that’s the same sort of logic that homophobes use towards gays, “your lifestyle and sexuality is a choice, and […]
I’ll try to cut the bulk and give you guys the gyst, but it is hard. I have been battling suicidal thoughts and self-harming for over a decade. I never thought when I first started this, that I would have my own place, a growing family, and still be struggling with the razor.
Anyway. I’m an only child from a one parent family. My dad is as strange to me as people I have never met before, and I am okay with that. He wandered back into my mom’s life for fun occasional sex when I was 12; that’s when my battle began. When I self-harmed […]
Hey guys. I need some advices here. I know at the end it’s totally up to me but I don’t know, maybe you could help.
I’ve been feeling very very down the last 3 weeks. I was really giving up about life. I did post something about this not long ago. Somehow, yesterday, I found the strengh to tell a friend that I needed to talk. We talked a little bit by text message and I asked if she could find time to meet in real person to talk. And she said yes. Seriously, I know Im not lucid now ’cause I’m hurt and it was […]
Seriously. There are probably people crying as hard as me right now, because they are sick and they’re going to die and they want to stay alive and healthy. And im here crying because I’m forced to be alive and I wanna die. I could say its unfair but I stopped hoping things to get fair in life anyway! Â I just can’t stand it anymore.
you can talk to me on my fake Facebook page if you want : https://www.facebook.com/missholly.grey
I really don’t ask for a lot out of life. I mean I’ve wished for a lot of things, sure, and who hasn’t? I know that I don’t need a lot of luxuries in life.  But is it really too much to ask for a little stability in my life? All I want to be able to do is go to sleep at night without being anxious about where I’ll end up sleeping and if I’ll eat tomorrow. It’s the reason I ended up suicidal in the first place. Not the self-esteem issues, not the loneliness, not any failed relationship, not school, not work. Hell, […]
I wish I wasn’t so tired all the time. I just want to go perminately to sleep.
I can’t stop the need to kill myself. The only relief I get is cutting, and now I want to strip the flesh from my body so I can try feel at piece. I would like a time when I don’t have death on my mind and have a time of piece without killing myself.
The thing that make me doubt the most about killing myself… it’s that I fear I would not really get this relief feeling that I’m searching for. You know, you’re in pain, and you just don’t want to feel it anymore… but I think that when you’re dead, you don’t even realize that the pain is gone, ’cause you know, you’re not alive to feel it. If I could be guaranteed that there is something after death. That there’s another world where you can enjoy not to be alive anymore… i would be gone for a while now.
Please don’t ask me the reasons for my question. But I want to know if overdosing with high blood pressure medication can kill a person? Please I need the answer urgently.
I just want someone who can trust and beaccepted by. I feel like no one cares about me and if I were to die tonight nobody would notice. I hate myself for being so lonely.
Note: as i have written earlier, i sometimes use SP as diary. this is basically just a personal note i want to give to myself, a kind of remainder of a conclusion so that i don’t get lost again or atleast have at the back of my mind that i’ve made some conclusions which are more important than normal random thoughts. all in all i want to get rid of these thoughts without fear of forgetting their essence.
good days are going (i.e. currently happening). but i’m tired of them. in fact i get tired of good days sooner than that of bad days. its looking […]
You’re tearing me apart,
When I can’t stop thinking and lock myself in my mind.
You’re tearing me apart,
When You’re always on my head and You’re forcing me to stop thinking of myself.
You’re tearing me apart,
When you want me to stop living, and concentrate on your feelings.
You’re tearing me apart,
Cause while time passes, flowers are dying and so am I.
You’re tearing me apart,
When You’re giving me reasons to not fight and give up on myself.
You’re tearing me apart,
All I can feel is the pain that you left and is keeping me by your side.
Without being there with you, but in your […]
While one day falls into another, I only hope that this is a dream.
I’m too old for these feelings. I’m in university, doing an incredibly difficult course which I spent my whole schooling trying to get into. I chose this. I am crippled by social anxiety, so I chose to live alone. I am simultaneously envious of people who can be themselves, surrounded by friends. I chose to be like this, every decision pushing me further inside my head. I am painfully crammed inside my own skull.
Surely I’ll wake up, a happy, normal, real version of myself. Surely I’ll be able to think beyond myself.
I […]
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