In Spanish we have the word “apapachar” it can’t be translated properly to English but it’s something like “to caress the soul” it could be done thru a hug, or any other display of affection. That’s one of my favorite words and that’s why I need. Autumn and winter make me feel sadder than usual, but the sunsets make me feel so calmed. I just wanted to share this with you all. I don’t know why haha.
hello. i’m a 19 yr. old female, just joined. i have depression, social anxiety, and self-esteem issues. i’ve never actually attempted suicide, but i’ve wanted to die many times, and especially this past year. my life is crud and i don’t really do anything. i dropped out of school early last year because of bullying, and i haven’t finished. i don’t work, i live with my parents who are alcoholics. i don’t have any friends. i’ve never had a boyfriend. i’m obese and ugly. i don’t feel like my life is worth living anymore. the only thing i do remotely well is write poetry. well, […]
After the mishaps, the trio continues their journey to find a town with several corpses in front of the main gate.
HDS: What happened here?
Zetsumei: Could it b- Zetsumei is shot in the head and its hood falls down.
Zetsumei continues to walk to the town despite the slow-healing hole in its head.
Zetsumei: I suggest both of you back up if you don’t want to die. If my suspicion is correct, you need to find some cover and quickly.
HDS and Rocketman retreat behind a tree.
As Zetsumei approaches closer to the gate, it is shot several more times.
Zetsumei: This is getting annoying. Can you please stop firing at […]
So I have posted I fell in love for the first time with my ex boyfriend. He went to work one night and never came home and he had another gf. He blocked me everywhere and said he never wanted to talk to me or see me again.
Tuesday night he sent me a txt that said “?” I did not respond because it’s been so long but I did check and I was blocked by him but could get on his gfs profile. And they were still together and happy according to her
this morning I woke up to a missed call from him. I didn’t […]
And in the end, there is nothing, nothing more than the silent, empty, cold reality of death. No more tears, no more pain, no more suffering… Just the empty reality of a pain-filled existence now come to pass. Laid to rest in the cold, hard ground in the middle of winter, while the only ones who cared about you try to tell others how much they cared about you, but you know the truth: it was a lonely existence with half-hearted lovers who want to leave but don’t want to disappoint, backstabbing people who called themselves your best friends, and depression so strong that days […]
It is sad to think that today you would have been 19.. I feel like people all around nd me die so young . Probably even for you all. Good souls are taken every day . Kids are being diagnosed with cancer at 2, people are being killed by terrorists, or even getting into a car accident . He died just a 2 months before […]
Can’t take feeling this anymore. Unacceptable. Gotta change something. Do something.
So, what’s holding me back from living a worthwhile life?
Well, superficially, there’s all the minor health issues. Just enough to make me uncomfortable most of the time, without actually being severe enough to deserve medical attention (not that most of them are curable anyway.) Either my skin problems are flaring up. Or my stomach problems. Or my allergies. Or my insomnia. Or my back problems. The combination means I never feel well.
On top of that, there’s all the little embarrassing physical inadequacies (both real and perceived.) Because I need more reasons to feel inferior.
But let’s put […]
Why Dreams is better than reality?
Why is Dream better than reality?
Why is dreams better than reality? Why dream is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi / sci fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, MMORPG , Interstellar , The Matrix , Avengers , X-Men , etc etc, they are much more interesting, full […]
Hi everyone. 🙂
The short version of this is I might not be on SP as much in the future. The longer version is just a vent about everything that’s been going on lately.
It seems surreal to me that only a couple of months ago I was texting a friend to say I thought I was starting to recover from depression. I’ve said it twice in the last five to six years. Things started to get worse again this time when my ME/CFS got worse. That seems to be improving now, although it’s been up and down lately, but the depression is still going downhill.
I cut […]
Today was actually great.
im feeling low right now but other than that I’m doing good today .
and it was so beautiful outside , and I got to see my love.
ive decided to find something I’m good at, or at least find a hobby .
i love jewelry, and stones, so I’m gonna teach myself how to metalsmith . It’s gonna take time and money, but doesn’t everything ?
Ive never had a hobby , or even if I did it was only for a short while . Instead of laying in bed every second of the day, I’m going to find something I love to do.
I really […]
I’m sorry I can’t do anything right.
I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment to you.
I’m sorry I’m such a burden.
I’m sorry I’m not what you wanted.
I’m sorry I’m not good enough.
I’m sorry I can’t live up to your expextations.
I’m sorry I’m so lazy.
I’m sorry I don’t help you enough.
I’m sorry I don’t say I love you anymore.
I’m sorry I don’t kiss you anymore.
I’m sorry I don’t hug you anymore.
I’m sorry I’m not a good daughter.
I’m sorry I can’t keep a long term friendship.
I’m sorry I pushed you away.
I’m sorry I’m weird.
I’m sorry I don’t fit in.
I’m sorry I’m a huge fuck up.
I’m sorry I was born.
I’m […]
It had been a really weird but happy (?) kind of day for me today.
I was actually planning to kill myself this evening. And today was supposed to be my last day on Earth. But then, idk maybe God is showing me signs to live.
I woke up this morning feeling really anxious. I had planned out what to do for today, finish suicide note, delete all social media accts., clean my room (finally!) and all those stuff to prepare for my departure.
I heard my mom and my cousin downstairs talking about some serious matters, a problem with my other cousin and her husband, our financial […]
When I was a little kid I didn’t understand why people would be so sad and depressed, I didn’t understand any of this. I thought they just needed to tough up.
Now I am a 15 year old and all I want to do is disappear. I want to just leave and sethre all the relationships I have. I don’t want to die but I would die to disappear.
Last year when I was 14 I started getting severely depressed, but then I didn’t know what depression was. I just wanted to start running away and never turn back, I wanted to disappear so badly I would […]
but .. she betrayed me … ! who is she … it’s life !! yup … it’s life …
i sow it .. a beautiful and loved it .. i wanted to live it .. i wanted to stay in it .. i didn’t ever wanna leave .. but it’s forcing me to !! i didn’t ever wanted .. it’s kicking me out .. like i am a ball ! why .. know i made many mistakes ! if god is watching he will know i’m not the only one .. alot of people had made many mistakes and many of them got the bless of […]
A new development has arisen, not only do I feel like the world has abandoned me but it seems my few friends I have left have too. None have spoken to me since I was kicked out of school, the sister I spoke of previously was recently kicked out because she didn’t want to do the work involved for year 12. The school however gave her more help then they ever offered me, I was shoved to the side and told to leave however they gave her 2 months to catch up, they gave her a tutor and said she only had to do 2 […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
…but this song makes me feel so… clean-sad. i can just relate. so yeah.
“it takes getting everything you ever wanted, and then losing it, to know what true freedom is…”
“they have no idea what it’s like to seek safety in other people…”
It’s been 7 weeks today since I woke up from my failed attempt. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression most my life. Since going to college it has gotten worse. This past semester, I was kick out of my suite because my roommates didn’t feel safe with me, because I got high twice. Of course having anxiety, I didn’t cope well with the change. I lost my best friend, I was struggling a lot and I just wanted to end it all. I took some pills, but I ended up waking up really sick. It was horrible. Things haven’t really gotten better. Everyday is hard […]
I’m afraid of this being the worst birthday ever for me. Not that it’s ever meant anything before. Only once as a little kid was my birthday really celebrated. I was maybe 4 or 5 and my mom had a friend from work who shared my birthday so he came over for dinner and she had a cake with both our names on it and he gave me a toy guitar and strung it up left handed for me. Then a couple of weeks later my mom threw it out because “music is the work of the devil” and all that. At some point when […]
okay, so i am very very very lonely. and im sorry if this isnt a well written passage but i just need to try and talk for a moment. i want to die. and i hate myself for wanting it. i hate myself for feeling that i need it. that im not good enough to fix myeslf or to make myself stronger. i hate that i even think of leaving all the people and the places behimd even when it feels like theyre gone and ill never be able to get them back. i hate a lot of things. mostly just myself though. all the […]