I was born with bad health and I’ve gone to doctors all my life, but they refuse to help me for long. All of the health conditions I have conflict with each other too much. My main are Interstitial Cystitis, Shy Bladder Syndrome, Type 1 Diabetes, Gastrointestinal, Heart condition (my main blood artery was blocked so I didn’t get the proper blood flow)… I’m in excruciating pain and it’s gotten worse in the last 3 years. I finally managed to get pain killers, but on March of this year this clinic has been fighting me. 3 times I was forced to go cold turkey and […]
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wanted
The whole backstory is coming soon but it will take me hours to write, so I just wanted to put this out there right now. I’m 15, and have been getting harassed to my face and behind my back by the same group of boys for about a year. I’ve tried EVERY option of dealing with them in ethical ways, and nothing works. No matter how many people tell me I’m smart, or funny, or kind, I can’t believe it. I try, but I just can’t. These boys have stolen every ounce of pride and confidence I have. I get that feeling of my chest […]
I’ve tried looking at life from a positive perspective but it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m ready to die. I’m 27 years old. I have Bipolar Disorder. I’m poor. I’m on government assistance. I’m African-American. I’m a woman. I’m extremely overweight. I still live with my parents. I come from a family of Narcissists who have each told me in their own way that they don’t mind if I die. I’ve tried to put myself out there in college and employment but nothing fulfills me. And no amount of medication is going to change how I feel. I’m already taking 4 meds and […]
*this poem is in a book i read its called wattpad love i wanted to share it*
The Girl and the Shark
Once upon a time, in the middle of the
[…]
Just spent a bunch of time writing this on mobile and forgot to save it and got an error, yay me.
Anyway, hi. I’ve been browsing this website on and off for the past year or so and decided to share my story today.
So I’m currently 18 years old, and I’ve been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts since about 9 or 10.
I’ve never really met or talked to my real father in any way, he left when I was 3 months old, I come from a relatively poor family
and my father never paid his child support, my mom rarely had a job and would constantly get […]
There are days i just can’t forget the pain.
I get angry during the day when I’m around others. Mostly about being forced to live this life i never asked for or wanted.
Others just see me as a cranky mean *****. If only they knew.
Then i go home and cry until there are no more tears. It lasts for hours, I’m exhausted and fall asleep.
I’ve been super depressed since 7th grade. I thought about cutting all the time and wanted to kill myself. That’s all I would talk to my friends about, and I lost many because of that. All through high school I have been doing everything I can to get better, but nothing worked. I couldn’t tell my parents because they wouldn’t support me, which means I couldn’t get on medications for it. I was about at breaking point my freshman year of college. I just pushed through until my 18th birthday. I finally got into the doctor to get some medications and was expecting a quick […]
paralyzed as my chest felt heavy i saw him after 2 months. i wasnt in good mood but i wanted him to see me becase i knew if he did we would both smile but that never happened. feeling guilty because i have a bf but he always crawls his way into my heart. he’s mysterious, dark, and is beautiful while my bf is dark, sarcastic, and also beautiful. they both make me smile and laugh at my worst times and are both there for me. (no joke this feels like some twilight bullshit.)
Today was the last day of my teen group. All the kids for all the groups went to ZDT’S. It was fun, hanged out with my squad. Did this support group help me with my self harming and drug problem? HELL NO. We never talked about anything like that, I basically wasted every Thursday since June making friends. I became really close with the transport driver, she thinks I am a great singer and a very pretty young lady. She understands my problems and talks to me. I’m really gonna miss her.
Since today is the last day I’ll see the transport lady, we both wanted […]
Just wondering whether anyone knows where killswitchon is? It’s just that he hasn’t posted in a while, and I can’t find any of his old posts. I just miss his presence here, his videos gave me a bit of hope. And I just wanted to make sure that he’s okay.
I think there was a similar post on here but I thought I’d post again to see perhaps different insight.
Is there anyway to make it easier for the people that you leave behind? I have struggled many years adjusting from an existence of isolation…. I’m nearing the end and have thought of ways to make it easier. I have dropped hints and have asked the question to someone who I hold dear ” Would you be okay [go on with life] without me?”. I have spoken with my sister stating that I simply don’t know how long I’ll be around. I am in the […]
I am a 23 year old guy and I have been diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune condition called lupus. What this means is that my immune system finally caught up with my brain and started hating itself as much as I did before I even knew what the word “lupus” meant. My body is destroying itself and if I choose to keep living, I will live every day for the rest of my life in pain with the looming threat of facing severe organ damage or becoming permanently bedridden. Having lupus means that something as innocent as spending 2 minutes in the sun could cause my immune system to […]
I just moved from home, in an attempt to save enough money for a college I can’t afford, to an entirely new city. I’ve been excited to move away from that place all my life, but now I feel crippled by adult responsibilities. My rent is 700, and I need to get a job immediately.
But with no job availability, and no experience to speak of in regards to city work, I’m stuck. Without a job, I can’t get insurance, which I need for a psychiatrist, and then for meds.
I need a car to get a job out of town, which I need a job to […]
It all started when I was in elementary my mom couldn’t afford an apartment or a house. so we had to live out of her boyfriends van. After living in the car for like a couple of months we moved to a homeless shelter. It was hard going to school because I couldn’t be like the other kids. For me after school was just going back to the shelter and that was it. I didn’t really get to play much and if I did play I would play with my older brother. I have 2 older brother but my oldest brother got kidnapped by his […]
Why movies are better than reality ? Why movie is better than reality ? Why reality is boring ?
by niki
written by niki
Why movies are better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why movie is better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why reality is boring ?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality ( human’s fantasy is better than reality )
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, X-Men, Marvels & DC universe / movies , The Avengers , Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Naruto, Bleach, […]
I’ve never wanted to kill myself more in my life.
I just feel like a giant roadblock in everyone’s way. My stress is tearing my body apart and we can’t afford insurance for medical care so that’s just another burden on my family. I feel like a waste of life and space and money and energy. I want to disappear. Run away. Die.
Just be out of the lives and out of the way of the ones I love.
After all, they’re going places and I’m not. I’m just dead weight.
I’m not really sure what to say im new to this googling suicide crap. All night I been thinking about ways to kill myself how to do it. This isn’t the first suicide attempt. There’s been a few but overdoses never really work I end up being sick and well I failed. But tonight I just can’t cope anymore. It’s getting worse and worse I don’t get any help with my depression. I even told my support worker I’m going delusional. Funny thing is she thought it was nothing and signed me off that day! Tonight I even written a suicide note. First time and […]
it’s my first time that i write personal things about me in a site or a blog. of course the identity is unknown so it’s okay. there’s so many things i want to talk about ..that i feel deep down.. i wish my heart could speak for me.. cause sometimes words doesn’t describe the true feelings of a person.. but at less it gives you the opportunity to express yourself a little bit.. long time ago words used to make feel better.. expressing myself i mean but unfortunately not anymore ..maybe a little bit like i said.. but i feel like this pain is growing.. […]
Not that I want to hurt anyone my choice isn’t to hurt the people most suicidal people have thoughts of hurting other people not me though….Maybe tomorrow will be different if you actually open your eyes and see how your living don’t have the same thoughts about the darkness an pain try to reach out of the darkness into the light suicide isn’t the way out its just a break from the least horrible things once you die you have nothing and cant be anything anymore because you wanted to get away….I know how it is to be afraid of your own mind I understand. To feel like […]
Hey everyone.
I’m a 22 year old guy with a boy and girl of 8months old *twins* and a wife my age. We have both full time jobs *i work in the morning, she in the evening, other week rotation.*
I love my wife very much, she’s from another country as mine, last few weeks it went downhill for us, we argue alot, fights, and I became in some kind of depression, I wanted to make her happy, instead of us. I did everything to do that, only making my life miserable.
I have alot anger in myself, in the years I dont say what I want to, […]