I’ve tried looking at life from a positive perspective but it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m ready to die. I’m 27 years old. I have Bipolar Disorder. I’m poor. I’m on government assistance. I’m African-American. I’m a woman. I’m extremely overweight. I still live with my parents. I come from a family of Narcissists who have each told me in their own way that they don’t mind if I die. I’ve tried to put myself out there in college and employment but nothing fulfills me. And no amount of medication is going to change how I feel. I’m already taking 4 meds and I feel more amped up on how I feel than I did a year ago when I first tried to commit suicide. I just spent some time in jail (Baker Act) and then in the hospital and now I go to a rehabilitation program called Fellowship House but it still doesn’t change how I feel. Also, I simply do not want to get old. I’m not interested in being in a relationship or having kids. It’s just not for me. I’ve experienced all I need and want to from this life. I just want a painless way out of this world. My time has passed. I wish there was some Assisted Suicide method that was here in America. People keep saying I’m depressed but even when I’m busy with my favorite hobbies like writing or watching TV, I still feel like it’s my time to die. Death is natural just as life is natural. If people can have the freedom to bring another person in the world, why can’t they have the freedom to take themselves out of it if they want to? Maybe this is me just being too negative, but I feel like today’s society has become so plastic on an overall basis. People seem to live based on what’s trendy and popular and expensive. People don’t look at other people for who they are…they look at them for who they’re NOT and they try to change them to fit society’s expectations. And for someone like me, who is a minority on every level, people are ALWAYS trying to change me and I just don’t think it’s fair. I know I can just ignore it but I’m honestly just ready to end it all. I’ve experienced all that I’ve wanted out of this life and becoming old is not something I’m looking forward to anyway. So if anyone knows of a simple way to end your life, please email me at smokymemories425@yahoo.com. Thank you.
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Emailed ya bro
I can’t help you on ending your life but i do understand what you feel. I had the same train of thought for a while (i’ve had enough, don’t want to get old, don’t want a family, etc). In a way i still do (but now it’s out of necessity), and honestly it is perfectly understandable that someone just feels like it’s enough (regardless of age). That said, circumstances do change and we do change our minds over time, but i’m don’t want to try to convince you to change yours (because it is your decision). I guess i just wanted to say that i really hope you find the peace you are looking for (either by finding a reason to live or by ending it).
I agree with you when you say…”Death is natural just as life is natural. If people can have the freedom to bring another person in the world, why can’t they have the freedom to take themselves out of it if they want to?” I agree, we all die and none of us chose to be born I think people should have the right to put an end to themselves but society is rigged to try an stop it from happening. Luckily there is always a way one can die, but unfortunately our society is not very accepting of the assisted suicide thing as of yet. I wish it were excepted an available. I think society trying to stop people from ending their own lives is bullshit. I hope you find peace.