Have you ever wanted to die, like, it’s all I really have ever wanted. Hell the first time I tried to kill myself I was 8. But no matter what I can’t because of my family, because I’m scared to death of hurting them. Even though they’re the ones who kicked me out because I called them out on stealing hundreds from me, the people who abused me and beat me no matter how much I cried, the people who screamed how useless, lazy and worthless I was in front of Everyone I knew when I was in 4th grade because I got a D. […]
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I’m freaking out about not having enough hours at work, not having a place to live, not having money to pay my bills, not being able to find a second job, and having to do all this shit alone.
This is too much shit for one person to handle. Enough is enough. I seriously feel so freaked and panicked and anxious about everything that I wanna just go jump off a bridge and be done with this shit.
You win, Universe. You wanted to see how much fucking shit one person could really take, and this is it. I’m fucking done, you win, I’m not playing anymore.
Thank […]
Imagine your mother going upstairs, into your room and finds you dead, hanging from the ceiling fan. There is no going back. You just wanted to end the pain not your life. You hurt everyone that ever knew you. You didn’t just end your pain, you gave it to some els. It’s not just you that are wanting to end your life. Now it’s your younger sister or brother that you have passed these thought down to. They start to cut.. last week your mother found your goodbye letter, she unfolds it carefully while tears are running down her face. After she reads the letter […]
ok…i know i havent posted in awhile….so the update……….. i moved back to my moms to only find out my exgf was alive and she went out with my best friend…….i loved her so much and she hurt me like that……my best friend thinks that deep down she still loves me but just doesnt want to admit it and i really just dont care anymore….i use to go out with this girl named stacie and she broke my heart….she was everything to me….i dont understand why it happens to me…..well lme and my exgf got to be friends and everything and stacie was like her […]
I get that this site is for suicidal people and all that.. and that’s why i came here. But it’s a place to get help and advice for feeling suicidal now asking for ways to kill yourself. Damn, if you were going to kill yourself, you would have done it already. Suicide is going to hurt and have consequences if it goes wrong either way so there isn’t going to be a painless way. It all hurts in one way or another. But people seem to be mixed up about dying and just wanting rid of the pain.. i thought i wanted to die for […]
Well, they wanted to throw me into the bin. Can’t blame ’em. I think it’s in the psycho protocol that when a patient tells you he’s gonna do this three days from now, you’ve got to report him. Of course, I was talking bullshit. I know nothing will happen on Wednesday. It will be like any other day, at least, on the surface. No one in my house will overdose on pinkies on Wednesday. Only on fucking blues.
So I’m currently writing an assignment for my mental health and well-being paper. The aim of this assignment is to examine the different pathways in which a well-being of an individual is enhanced.
Now, this may seem super random because compared to my other posts. I’ve never really done this. But I was wondering, if anyone, and I mean ANYONE would like to contribute.
What I really wanted to know is, when you think of that one happy moment..just that ONE HAPPY moment, what do you feel? & What is it that makes you feel that way?
Another is forgiveness. Has anyone ever taken the courage to forgive […]
Hi, so i am new to this site and this is my first actual post.
I guess i am just looking for insight into … i don’t even really know, just what goes on inside my head maybe.
I have just recently been diagnosed with depression but i have kind of known for some years now that i have been depressed and i self harm.
So I have been reading some posts on here the past few days and most people talk about all of the struggles they have gone through in their lives and how they want to escape from all of their problems and reality. At […]
Ten years ago I got married. I married the mother of my first born and felt more optimistic about life than I ever had. I had my family. We had 2 more kids and it was that much better. I worked up to 3 jobs at a time to begin with so my wife could finish school. When she did I became a stay at home dad and went to working just part time. She made great money. With this came her urge to spend it and the infidelity began. Things were rough for a while but then it all got better. Around my 10th […]
Cross a road as you see a bus approaching far off in the distance, and wish it weren’t hundreds but a mere few feet away.
Peer over the hand rails of a bridge and imagine yourself plunging towards the watery depths below.
Drag a finger along the edge of a blade – wishing your finger were your neck instead.
Feel a faint sense of relief at the thought of others gazing downward at the lifeless body – it had imprisoned you for much too long.
Battle the urge to just jump .. to make the leap of faith into the abyss.
Become fixated upon the person you’ve wanted so deeply to know and understand, disgusted by […]
DISCLAIMER: What you’ll about to read is not a story its more of a rant, no, its a glimpse of what is on my mind and how my mind works and thinks. I wrote this disclaimer after i’ve written the things below.. I’m not sure if someone will understand it, or even understand what im trying to accomplish, but i do hope someone is, in someway, is the same as me..
My mind is my greatest enemy. My mind brings me pain. My mind is a super highway of thoughts i cant keep track of. My mind fears the unknown, its such a curse to always […]
http://www.gq.com/news-politics/newsmakers/201409/the-last-true-hermit
At least, someone I admire in a weird sense… that’s like, a qualification for a hero, right? This story’s kinda old so I dunno how many people haven’t read about this guy yet, but basically this dude just decided that he wanted to live a life completely devoid of human interaction, and indeed he did for almost 28 years. I think he was around 20 when he just walked into an isolated park in Vermont and lived off petty burglaries around the nearby cabins, stealing only things that he needed to survive on, and apparently a lot of books too, he seems pretty well-reas. […]
Well I don’t want to make a big deal about this, I just wanted to let it out. but it just hurts me when people use me. I know I let it happen to myself but the people that I thought I loved are the ones using me. You’d think you were finally happy and you finally had someone you could lean on.. But nope. In just five seconds they turn on you and you’re left alone.. I wish I had someone who I know would never drop me.
That’s what he said to me this morning when he broke up with me. We had been talking/dating for a few weeks and it was damn near perfect. I still had my moment but of course he didn’t know that. We had such a good night a nice long walk in the park a good meal and he took me to see the movie of my choice. We rented a room and we just hung out for the most part, but of course we did the deed. I was so happy and he seemed the same way, but when I woke up this morning I […]
I looked into everything and decided that I will end my life on my birthday forget moving to nyc and opening a gallery. That dream is dead like my soul and I am not going to waste anymore time…..however I am looking for things to do while I am alive might as well try to have some fun before a greet the gates of hell right…..Sadly my family does not know and the only person I told does not believe me… I decided to do the exit bag however to make sure it works I plan to load up on brooze and sleeping pills. I […]
Some days I feel like my chest is being crushed by all the love and care I would have wanted to give someone. Even now my heart is drowning in a sorrow that has no stars, and no laughter and no sleep.
Some days I wonder if ppl just can’t see how wonderful they really are.. even burned out, or damaged.. There is such beauty in a strong beating heart inside a good person.
I thought about it so many times but i wanted to stay positive and not starve again…but sadly it just didn’t happen. High school- a place where you will be happy, have a great education, and figure out who you really are. I really wanted this to be the definition in my words, i really wanted to tell everyone how awesome it was to have friends and be beautiful and have harvard grades, i really wanted to be like my brother…it sucked. Because no matter how hard you tried, it would stay the same. I still remember all the people who called me ‘fat’, ‘ugly’, […]
This is my first post on this site, I’ve come here more than a few times to read your stories and poems when I need to cry or try and feel better. But today things are different.
I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was about 13, I’m 25 now.
As a kid, I was an elite athlete. I dove springboard and tower and I was really, really good at it. So good that at 12 years old I was already training 5 nights a week and had set a National record for my age group. Being so good brought a lot of pressure into […]
Woke up today and sobbed into my pillow. My son came to see me. He made me feel somewhat better. He should not be the one to wipe away my tears. Not these tears. Not for this reason. I hate feeling this way every day. I cried out for relief. I finally made myself go out, again. I went out to see friends. It took me several hours. I am cheating everyone I interact with and myself when I feel this way. I feel better now, but what a waste. I can’t stand to live this way. I can picture myself completing this. I have wanted […]
Many of you know the basics of my story. This is the whole story, from when I met my soulmate, to when I lost him. I figured it was time to share the details. I apologize for the length of this post, but appreciate those who take the time to read all the way through to the end. If you make it all the way to the end, there’s a special treat.
We weren’t supposed to be separated. We were meant to find each other. We lived on opposite sides of the country, and through unlikely circumstances, we met when I went to Ohio for school. […]