An old acquaintance of mine used to have a radio show and once in a while he would pull off a fake commercial and let the audience vote on whether or not they thought it was legit. One of my favorites was “Euthanasia Cruises”. For $2500 you could book passage on a luxury ocean liner that sailed out past the 20 mile limit. Then the passengers could do whatever they wanted for three days and nights – eat, drink, do drugs, have sex with each other – whatever they felt like doing and as much as they wanted. Then after the three days everyone gets […]
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wanted
About 3 weeks ago I said that I was going to kill myself. Well, I am alive now. At least for a little while longer, I am seeing a Psychiatrist and now she’s the only person who seems to listen after my best friend passed away and I don’t just want professional help, I want people REAL PEOPLE I can talk to. So for those who wanted me to write to, I will write to you and for those who want me to write to you, comment on this post. I didn’t really read any of your comments until today when I got back online.
So […]
life fucking sucks. i really wanted to jump in front of the train today. I’m completely miserable and that’s all i could think when i was waiting for the train.
A lot has been changing in my life lately.  With all the treatment shit and then I got a therapist.  I don’t really know if the therapy helps.  Professional help is just not my  thing.  Lately I haven’t been feeling like myself.  I haven’t been on here for weeks and it’s like a large chunk of my life is missing as odd as that sounds.  I thought I had come to a point where I didn’t have to rely on SP anymore, truth is, it has made me half of who I am.  I feel like I’m going crazy, god damn it.  At least crazier […]
I always find that talking helps so much, to anyone. So i guess i just wanted to say if anyone wants to talk at all about anything at all comment and we will find a way to talk. I can’t say i will give you advice, or even promise that talking to me will help, but i wont judge or give hate and hopefully we can help each other. Let me know.
My name’s DeathsAngel like the book I have arthritis, fibromialgia, CRPS, gird, aspergers, am bipolar, have manic depression, here voices, see a shadow, was abused as a child and am severely bullied. I have wanted to kill myself for three years. Last year I told my mom and she sent my to the hospital ever since then I have constant med switches but nothing is helping. I’m under eighteen so I have no say in my meds. I’m severally obese or at least medically obese, and ugly don’t even try to fight me on it. I have no self esteem. Make-up does nothing to improve […]
I haven’t posted in a while so thought I’d give an update for anyone who’s interested.
Also, I’m hoping it might give some people a bit of hope? Who knows.
Last time I posted I was literally at the point of ending it all. I’d already tried once but passed out; I’d been taken in by the police on a separate occasion and things were getting messy. I just wanted things over. There didn’t seem to be any other way that made sense. I had one last visit with my psych and they upped my meds. They told me they were putting me into day hospital. […]
Shattering heart,
Wounded soul.
How would she deal,
With all of this pain?
Wrists flowing red,
Mind screaming thoughts.
You’ve never heard a story,
Quiet like this.
She loved to draw,
And she loved to paint.
But, she used the wrong materials,
And it was all to late.
Her pen was a razor.
And her canvas,
Her wrist.
Her canvas was covered,
But she wasn’t finished yet.
Her canvas switched,
From her wrist to her thigh.
She wanted to keep drawing,
To show everyone her pain.
The drawings were getting deeper,
She was nearing the end.
She wanted someone to find her,
With her drawings on her skin.
Well, where do I start? I’ll start with the reason I decided to even consider writing this. Well while messing around on my laptop, I realized I haven’t left my room for a week, minus going to the bathroom, eating, and showering. After that I realized I’ve been in my room for a lot of my life. I’m not very close with my mom, I push her away when she tries to get close. I have plenty of friends, I just prefer to stay in my room and talk to people over the internet. I left my room last week to go on a walk […]
Ive been suffering from depression and suicidal ideation for roughly two years now, though I can remember my first time saying I want to die was in the 3rd grade. Two years ago I lost what I had believed as to be everything I had wanted. A house, nice car, a fiancee, I was happy and full of confidence.
Unfortunately I had the pleasure of losing all of that Plus more within 6 months time. Fiancee crashed my car, insurance wouldn’t pay for it, fiancee broke up with me, realized she had been cheating, kicked me out, and stopped paying the mortgage. House is in […]
I am a 19-year old woman that has struggled with severe depression, anxiety, and eating disorders for the better part of my life.
All my life I needed to feel like someone needed me. Of course no one hasn’t; I’m a flaw in every way imaginable. I hurt people I love without intention and I never forgave myself for it. I just wanted someone to notice something wrong but nobody ever did. I didn’t mean for everything to come this far.
The man I love once told me that suicide is one of the most selfish acts one can committ. Its true. Suicide is an awful thing, […]
Two nights ago, i was showering because i wanted to self harm so bad and they told me to use that as a coping skill…it worked, until i started shaving my legs hard and fast because I was thinking about it…took a whole chunk of my leg off….good thing it looks natural. I don’t know what I should do for my coping skills anymore. I used to love showers cuz they made me so tired but I always have to shave in them and it just sucks to be around razors right now. any suggestions?
Last night we had a fight. I haven’t spoken to you since you told me you liked me and since I told you about my cutting and eating disorder. And then we stopped talking. Why? It can’t be answered with any fairness because you decided to stop texting anyone to see who would answer. Did i text? No. Why? Because how am i supposed to talk to you after I’ve just opened up to you and after you just confessed your feelings for me. Awkward? Hell yes. It was so awkward to talk to you because YOU made it awkward but now when we fought […]
i wish i could say what i want to say…  i wish this post was what i originally thought id post here….  i just feel no will to do anything….  i feel depressed but not in the way it usually was….  im so anxious, so stressed….  and i dont have the crutches i normally used….  perhaps it was a mistake to move, even tho this should be better for me, i think…  i feel like i cant do this anymore….  i feel like things will never get better and never be ok….  which is different for me because i used to think things like i […]
I have become determined to prove myself and make others stop treating me like i dont matter.Im going to try a more serious attempt and gods will be done.I thought i had a reason for doing it but i dont.Apart of me says good riddance to this god awful planet apart of me says one more chance.Im getting older ill be twenty two in september.My sister will be off having a life in college.all my brothers and sisters will have left me.my parents will be dead ill be lost and confused I hate people who cry about boyfriends and girlfriends on here.i want to commit […]
All I ever wanted to do is be happy. How can I expect anyone to love me if I can’t even love myself.
My life isn’t as bad as some, but that doesn’t mean I am any less dead inside. I have thought about dying since  I was in grade 6. That was before I even knew what the words depression  and suicide meant. I learnt about cutting in grade 8, told myself I would never do it, I thought as soon as I did it would be over. In grade 10 my best friend told me she did it, that’s when I realized cutting didn’t […]
even though, I am tied to an anchor.
now when I die, the music that I wish to praise.
kingdom child and glory. his name is johnny.
the might is in your hand. a dying spirit of holy.
mother. auntie. sister. brother. let’s go.
on to the next verse. but I forgot the next line.
reversed. I am not the beauty, you are. I am the darkness.
my cane and your my light of life. my dead face and hand.
undead me. a mother of holy. this is not a love story.
immigrant from Europe country. I still can’t leave the country, of u.s.
America is starting […]
September 26, 2013
Imagine going home every day feeling terrible about yourself because a boy thought it’d be
funny to start an inappropriate rumor about you. How would you feel if every day you hid up in your
room crying because the girls at school whispered that you were fat, ugly, and worthless? What if you
were so anxious about the outfit you were wearing that took two hours to pick out that you plead sick
and stay home because you don’t want to be laughed at today like you were the day before? Eventually,
you find yourself left with seemingly only one option, it didn’t […]
Most of us are here because we feel so shit we want to kill ourselves. Â So I want to tell my story..
I had been crying non stop every day for about 4 months. I would go to college, cry, go gome, cry, cry myself to sleep.. it was a never ending cycle of me crying. Till one day during my lunch break at college I decided I had, had enough. I got lots of differdnt friends to go to shops and buy me tablets  (I couldn’t because I was too young) Anyway, I , anahed to get a fair amount of tablets, since more than […]
This is the first time I’ve posted on this site, having discovered it only a few days ago. Well, posting for myself, anyway, because I’ve actually given shout outs to a couple of other people that I hoped could take the words to heart. But I continue to wear my mask, even here, in the presence of those who’d likely accept me without it. But, truth be told, I wear it around friends and family that I’d gleefully step in front of a bullet for, so it’s not entirely surprising to me.
I’ve felt the urgings of suicide for the better part of the last 25 […]