i dont want to hurt anyone , or remaind you of what you want to forget ..
some of us had been raped , and other had been used and saled ,others had a bad parents , or bad social live , or had been failure .. we all have something that is pushing us to the edge .. but we won’t fall
we might think that we have the worst life ever . but we forget to think about other people .. while we are here sitting infront of our laptops or mobile phones in our worm rooms ,, have the ability to eat […]
Tag:
win
Life feels like this. When you were born it was like someone pushed you into the water. Maybe it would end up good, and you would enjoy the swim. Some might struggle to float or wouldn’t like being in the water. And for some other like me, there’s a hand pushing me down under the water, desperately wanting me to drown, but life went on and on without end, the hand keeps pushing down, and here I am just struggling to survive. But we all know, death will win in the end. Why not end it sooner?
People always say that “happiness is a choice”. Well, guess what? For some people, it isn’t. How do you find happiness in the breaking of a heart, in the sound of your own parents telling you to never see them again? To hear over and over again how you failed, and no matter how hard you try to think of something good, the only thing that comes to mind is that you’ll be dying soon. It’s not like there isn’t any happiness. There is. It’s just not enough to win compared to all the disasters and failures we have to face. Being happy isn’t a […]
Round and round it goes in my head. Can’t kill myself. Can’t do that to my family. I owe them everything, and it would destroy them.
But can’t go on living with this overwhelming sadness. Can’t keep going through the motions. Can’t keep pretending I have a life. Can’t stand this longing anymore. Can’t go on being alone, but can never feel any real connection with anyone. Can’t keep hating myself, but can’t be anything better, no mattter how hard I try. Can’t keep fighting a battle I’m never going to win. Can’t bear to be the one who everyone pities anymore, a worthless loser. Can’t […]
Hello. Are Salt and Killlswitchon here? I miss you guys. If you’re alive or something leave a reply. I think I am going to do it in the future. The recovery was only for the energy that I need to get a job and earn the money for finishing it. Once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t be fixed whatever it happens. I understand everyone with depression, hate, everything. People are just a sack of wack. Maybe the divine exists or maybe not.Maybe it will be better in the next life or maybe it will be an eternal dreamless sleep. But you know […]
sometimes i just want to die! as most of us fucking do but seriously whats the point? to show everyone our life was shit? to let them win? well no thats fucking bullshit if we want to die its their fault and if we do kill ourselves that means that u r letting them win! dont you want to prove to these douche bags that we can achieve our dreams and that we arent worthless and even if we were sexually harrassed, or abused, or just treated terribly, or r strugging with depression dont u want to prove the rest of the world wrong? stay […]
I’m still around. Figuring things out one day at a time. Engaging in things that while not the best for me help me get through the day. Harm reduction is important. If stupid flirting helps me get through or a cigarette or a drink then yes let’s do this. I’m not dependent on them but they help.
I make it to work, even make it on time some days. But I get my work done and there aren’t too many things that I am lagging in. I mean I know some things fall at the way side but I can’t figure out how to stop it.
Time […]
Well ive finally built up the courage to end it, there zero chance things get better . its like i try to talk to about my problem and ppl including my own mom just toss aside how i feel my depression , everything like is nothing. I just feel alone, im playing to lose.if i feel angry or sad my own family looks at me like i have no right to feel that way . funny thing is me and my mom got in an arguement just now and she wished me death at least she thinks so too . well someones wish is going […]
At school i only have three friends which we all have different sexuality. I’m a bisexual, one of them is Pan-sexual (which if any you don’t know means doesn’t care what they are boy,girl, trans) another Asexual (no sexual attraction to anyone) and the Heterosexual (straight) and this stupid fuck up group of people keep on bullying us about it. I don’t even know how they found out! It pisses everyone off but we can’t do anything because we’re quiet shy about it so we don’t say it much. And that just makes it worst how so how they know! Also we mixed classes recently […]
There are so many things that I have trouble discussing. I find the most indirect and vague way imaginable to get my point across so I don’t have to say it. I guess this is just another one of those things. Its funny how a moment can change..
His fingers find my face
A soft and gentle touch
My heart begins to race
His presence is too much
I melt into his palm
He slowly pulls me in
I try to keep calm
But a transformation begins
His hands turn to ice
His nails pierce my skin
Darkness fills his eyes
And takes him from within
My […]
…its hard… It’s harder…and occasionally it’s on super extraordinary hard mode…
I’m an old member who thought I was done with this place…. Right… Not even close. I won’t say I wish I was dead. But I wish I could free myself ….
After retrospectively examining every second prior to this I now understand that it all boils down to choices….
There isn’t anything stopping us from making better choices.
Seriously just think of a few choices in your everyday life that could drastically change your life. Something as simple as a bus ticket can change your life. If you are underage a new book, look, game or friend […]
What’s the point of shouting when there is no one to hear? I can scream my pain all day and night but everyone has lives. Everyone has their own pain. They can’t hear mine. It’s just a whimper. A passing phrase. A “How are you.” and “I am fine.” False. Unheard.
I had so many dreams. The only way to make them come true is to leave everything I’ve built; walk away from all that I know. Start over. Lose. I can only win if I lose. And everyone is blaming me for their suffering…and that’s not fair because I suffered so frigging long in […]
Hello to all out there who are reading this. I have decided to post here my last thoughts. I had hoped things would get better, maybe even easier given time and space, but I unfortunately grow increasingly tired and weary of this world and path that I have found myself walking down. I guess I should write this all in a note for my loved ones to see, but I dont want them to see this side of me. I do not intend on leaving a note at all. I know what I plan to do is going to hurt many people, but why must […]
fuck reality , fuck real life , fuck real world , because reality / real-world / real-life is boring ! Imagination /dreams / fantasy is better than reality / real-world / real-life !
by niki
written by niki
I think (some) people would agree that our everyday’s reality / real life / real world life is boring, mundane, repetitive routines, jobs, to make money, and even the ‘fun’ stuff like party, sex, dance, etc in the end still can’t beat our wildest dreams / imagination / fantasy .
Movies , video games , comics , books , novels , anime , manga often are a HUNDRED times much more interesting than this mundane, dull, LIMITED / LIMITING, boring reality / boring reallife / boring realworld !
eg: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Avatar, X-Men, Marvel heroes / comics , Star Wars, Star Trek, […]
Just two days ago, my dog had to be put to sleep. As I’m typing this, I should be getting some sleep myself. It’s 1:30am, and I don’t want to, nor can’t I, sleep.
The worst part? He was my only real friend. From the moment I owned him, even to this day, I had, and still have, a grand total of zero human friends.
All my schoolmates did was one of three things: say hello once a month, ignore me, or see how far they could push me, if they could make me snap.
It must have been their favourite game: Push The Freak Until He Breaks. […]
depression is like a war, you either win, or die trying.
You may not know it but so many people care about you… I’ve recently attempted suicide and when I woke up in the hospital only then I realized the awesome people I would have left behind. Yes life sucks and sometime it seems almost unbearable but nothing last forever not even emotions. Tough times don’t last, tough people do. Get the help you need and try your absolutely best everyday and you will find some sunshine in what seems like an awful storm. It’ll be hard, I won’t lie, there will be days when getting out of bed seems like a chore but never whatever […]
I wish I could literally just explode sometimes. People suck truly, we are stupid, naive, selfish beings. And there are people in this world that are aware they are like that and they are perfectly ok with it. I keep having dreams of my ex just these terrible dreams and I wake up feeling the pain from those dreams. There’s things that remind me of us, of him and it makes me angry and hurts me inside. I want so badly to be ok, im tired of the pain of feeling like death would be better than life. I don’t want the bad people in […]
Dear Reader,
Thank you for taking a moment to read my last thoughts. It is appreciated even in death.
What did I do? I took a huge amount of pills.
Why did I do it? I couldnt stand the physical and emotional pain anymore. The stress of day to day life was too much for this fragile soul.
That being said, I will be in a better place. I know my family will miss me, but they will get over it in time. I’ve tried the “just wait, things will get better” game. It seems only those cut out for life get over these things. I’m just not meant […]
If you have a broken smile and scars on your skin, stop and read this.
You’re beautiful/ handsome and you can do this. You can make it through today and every day afterwards because guess what?
You’re worth it. You’re worth every moment of life and every breath you take is just showing everyone who has ever put you down that you win, not them. Don’t ever give up.