I just heard this song for the first time in such a long time . It makes me sad . It reminds me so much of my mom. And I really wish she was here to of help me grow up and see my life and just be here with me . She’s gone forever . But this song also reminded me of the happiest time of my life when I was 15. This was my favorite song . I went to a Pink Floyd tribute concert the day after Christmas with all my friends and I was just so happy and carefree . Triggered […]
Scream into the night
Scream for the right
Scream for those who cannot
Scream for those who fought
Scream for those without sight
Scream, for there is no light
Scream for those who hurt
Scream for those beneath the dirt
Scream for those who lied
Scream for those who cried
Scream for those whose tears run red
Scream for those that wish they were dead
Scream for the terror
Scream for the horror
Scream for the might
Scream, for you have lost the fight
that someone would talk to me who isn’t paid to care.
I don’t want meds. They don’t do shit but dim the feelings. Everything still lurks underneath. Everyone still avoids me. I am still a cancerous disease, unfit for this world. Too awkward, too sensitive, too dark, too talkative, too reactive. Meds don’t change shut and they always eventually stop working. It’s such a stupid fucking dance.
I want a real friend who isn’t afraid of me.
I have none.
Every cell in my body is wired to malfunction.
Vodka and sleeping pills when I get paid this Friday. Till then I’m just entertaining the motions.
There are certain triggers that will cause an overwhelming feeling of sadness. It doesn’t last very long but I feel it, I remember it. I have a relative who is sick and dying and I don’t have my life together so I can take care of them. I get so damn angry at myself I should have been done with college and had a good job by now. I’m going to school entering my senior year next semester working 2 jobs trying to stay a float with my tuition. I think I’m going to get a loan next semester and focus on taking my relative […]
“Fact: Haters don’t really hate you. In fact. they hate themselves because you’re a reflection of what they wish they could be.”
all i’m asking for is a RED ROSE … it’s stupid maybe ,,
under the rain ,, on a sidewalk .. walking there .. to see that shadow of a man .. holding that red rose .. waitting for me .. i come .. he give it to me … and then i go home .. to lay in my bed with that red rose .. to hold it close to my heart in the cold nights.. remembering that rain and that shadow .. about rain and sun and roses .. about life .. about love .. about the warmth … about zina … the name […]
I always have to ask myself are you crazy ? Whats wrong with you ? i wish i was able to answer myself but im so ashamed . sometimes i dont even wanna loook at myself in the mirror & my family is worried because im isolating myself but its just something thats pushing me away . They tell me to talk and express myself but when i do they correct me & tell me thats not how i feel ! i mean wouldnt you be tired of life , especially after you lost everything & basically your soul to !
i wish to know how he felt while he was taking my clothes off just to humilate me .. and kill the soul i was living with .. how he felt when he was rapping that heart inside of me
how he forced me to rape my heart too
how happy he was watching me crying and cutting myself
how happy he was watching me covered with my owne blood for what he have done to me
i wish to kill him before killing myself
but i am no killer
not to myself and not to anyone else
i am a strong girl
and always […]
I can’t stand being in love with the most gorgeous and sexiest man alive because he’s untouchable and is forever doing everything in his power to find the girl that fits his mile long checklist of criteria she would have to meet to be perfect in his eyes, when I’m right here by his side wishing I could touch him. This is torture and I can’t turn off my feelings because I’m so close to him and I’ve never been so close to anyone before. I really wish it would go away or that I could switch it off. It still makes me want to […]
What doesn’t kill you, makes you wish you were dead.
i just want to go to sleep for a few years and have a nice dream about being a boy.
i just want to be a boy.
i want to wake up and be happy and organized and energetic and peaceful and have a triangular body and a square jaw.
i want to be thin, but i also want to be strong.
i want to be him, and him, and him, and him.
(i want to be her.)
i wish i was beautiful, i wish i was perfect. i wish was my skin was new and pure.
(they’re so lucky, those beautiful people. i hope they know that.)
(i hope they […]
So I haven’t posted in a while. My auntie took me to a theme park with her and my nephew. It was good to be away from everyone and spend time with them as I don’t see them much, but I’m home now and I hate it.
Its seems as though a guy is interested in me?? Not completely sure how this is happening. Its probably just some sick joke or something but I’m enjoying it while it lasts I guess.
Its my Nana’s birthday today.. She passed in may. I miss her so much. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about her. I […]
Sometimes, death sounds more appealing than anything. I hate this feeling but its thee only thing I feel now. I just wish it would end but it never does.
it’s funny how i wish i die of cancer …god.
i didnt know what to title this so heres the song that im listening to right now.
its interesting how we all attempt to comfort each other when we all know how the other person feels. when someone wants to kill their self people say no, because its wrong, a sin, selfish, or simply “not worth it to end a beautiful life”, and thus try to prevent a suicide. but if you truly understood how they felt ten why force that person to live in misery?
now im not saying that everyone should go commit suicide but when a person is at their worst and wakes up every […]
Do you guys just wish you were never born..I do. I wish I never had to experience any of this. Is all this suffering worth it?? I’m so fucking tired just let me sleep forever.
That moment you realize they were right. You are nothing….never will be. What am doing wrong that people see right through me. Wish bad things on me. Is it cause i am not pretty enough…or because i just not what you want. That moment everything clicks. That moment when getting on your knee’s praying to god begging him to end it become a norm. People just don’t realize how easily easily easily easily there words can influence someone decision. Like i wish that i wasn’t afraid to just do it. I know that as the time pass on me being afraid will soon fade. I […]
I still think of you
more often than I’d like to admit
it still hurts to hear your name
i wish you’d leave my mind
sometimes I want to go after you
but I know that’s not what you want
i understand why you had to leave
I just wish you didn’t
I feel terrible for what I did
what I excepted of you was too great
I got too mad
said and did terrible things
im sorry, and I think you know that
you just don’t care
you left me to save yourself
and that’s ok
i just wish you’d come back
I miss you
I miss our friend ship
I wish things could go back to the way they were
but I know […]
Do you ever wish you could get a terminal disease so you could die without making any painful effort???
After having spent the last 20 or so years struggling to figure myself out, I feel as though I have a crystal clear understanding of myself. I guess you could say that I spent these past 20 years looking into my abyss. I found myself there.
People always say that suicide is not the answer. But what if it genuinely is? The human mind can only take so much and I feel as though I’ve lived through an eternity already and I’m 34. I struggled through a very isolated childhood as I’ve posted before and seen horrors that no child should […]
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