everday i wish i was dead. my self image or self perception has gotten worse. everytime i look in the mirror, I realize why no one likes me. I try to avoid looking in mirrors or my reflections or pictures..etc just so i can get through the day specially on school days. this past month the feeling has gotten worse, and it feels like every day is a challenge, and idk what to do anymore i just want to give up so bad. my uncle just died, my mother struggles to pay for the funeral, and she’s been so depressed lately, 2 funerals would damage […]
Tag:
worse
The Christmas depression is here. But it is worse this time. Much worse. My daughter at least until last year was still interested in getting a tree put up and putting together some kind of meal on Christmas day. But not this year. We don’t really “celebrate” the holidays much anyway but this year I feel like I have become such a burden for everyone that they just don’t want to deal with things. I don’t ask much of the two of my kids that live with me – I don’t go out really anymore but we share the basic expenses. My son takes care […]
I think one of the reasons I’m still here is because I’m scared of what comes after this life. I believe there is nothing,but what if there is something? And it’s worse than it is here?
Im surfing at internet (sure) looking for any kind of help, but i’m not sure why.. maybe i want help but to tell the truth, i think it’s more about killing time because i really dont believe that i can get helped, theres no words or medication that can change who iam or worse what ive lost.
Cheers
Son of a *****. I’m at it again, having a breakdown where no one will find me. I’m so tired, so tired (SO GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING TIRED), of not being happy. I want to be able to be content with myself. I never tell anyone I know of these breakdowns and how severe they can get because I don’t want them to think less of me. But I’m exhausted from keeping it in. I just want a hug, a soul crushing, tear gushing hug. I want to feel loved wholly, for my depression and everything else. I don’t want to hide, bu t I shall continue to […]
I realized that I’m not living because I want to,or because I have hope that maybe tomorrow or a few days from now will be better….I’m only living because if I did kill myself it would make others lives worse,even though those lives I would be making worse by dieing are the same people who are making my life a living hell. I’m not here because I have hope or because I have a will to live….I’m just empty,but for some reason I still have to be here.
My moods have been awful lately, as have the Angels. For months my moods have been out of control. Some days I’ll wake up somewhat okay, and by the afternoon I cannot stand to be around anyone – and the degree of this type of mood fluctuates for roughly 4-5 days.
Then I can have an okay mood last for a period of time, also – yet, this is happening less often now. However, it’s my anger that’s the worst at the moment. My outbursts are becoming more frequent, and the reasons are becoming less obvious. Sometimes they happen due to the slightest change in my […]
If I were to die right now, nobody I know (in real life) would give a shit. It’s hard to want to live when nobody cares about you and you think your life is worthless, that it’s not worth living. And even worse when you can’t fucking kill yourself either, so you’re forced to be alive and miserable.
And it’s hard not to be miserable and depressed when nobody cares about you.
Bah!
I had a very stressed week this week. With everything going on its made me feel more depressed than ever. I was hoping today would be different. My friend and I kind of planned on meeting up after work a few hours ago, but after I got a message saying he couldn’t stay. He had left for his other friends. My heart literally shattered when I read the message (and what made it worse is my feelings I have for him..). I could not believe it. I thought hanging out with him would raise my spirits, make me feel so much better. But no. He […]
Every possible way to kill oneself comes with the risk of ending seriously messed up and worse than one was before. I am not depressed, I just want to die. I fucking hate existing. I have to suffer every fucking day. I feel bad for my mom and her pain but there is no point to my life on this pathetic planet. If there was a god, they’d have some fucking compassion for someone who genuinely needs to escape. Fuck. No one can understand.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I had a plan. But things keep moving from bad to worse and worse and fucking horrible.
It was going to be wonderful. Poetic in a way. Peaceful. Painless. Less traumatizing for whoever will find me. But fuck that. Tonight, Im taking a rope to a tree I usually run off to when my parents are at each other’s throats. I always find peace there. Now it’ll be forever peaceful, finally.
how do I figure out, what my purpose is? i just need a sign. just to let me no why I was put here. cause at this point, I don’t even think there is a reason I was put here. just a mistake my parents made. how come over heard so many people say they’ve received signs, and they’re life has changed for the better now? Or that just wonke up one day, and they didn’t want to die anymore. well why can’t that happen to me? I know I have to be “patient”, but I feel like I’ve been patient a little too long, […]
I’m sharing my story here. I’m a 25 year old boy suffering from various psychological disorders like anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), agoraphobia and lot others.
I’m dealing with all these since last 5 years. But from since last one year, the condition has become much worse.
The frequency of anxiety/panic attacks has been increased a lot.
I’m constantly getting intrusive thoughts in my head which are causing anxiety. Sometimes, my head is flooded with so many anxious thoughts that I think I’m going to die.
These thoughts cause much severe headache which drives me crazy..
Anxiety also has affected my physical body – the left […]
I speak to you as a victim of suicide. My mother and an uncle committed suicide.
There are many theories of death, but I will give you the most likely: It’s nothingness. Unconsciousness, as we know it, is that space between falling asleep and waking up. It’s what happens when you undergo surgery, or pass out. For a suicider, this is the most likely positive outcome. The suicider wants an end to the distress, and this appears to fit the bill.
But what if suicide carries with it consequences that are potentially worse? When the suicider makes the choice to squander the life given to him or her, who knows […]
I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go far away. Can I just die? There’s nothing to live for. I have people all around me but they’re not a good enough reason to make me want to stay alive. It doesn’t matter if I die right now. It would just save me the trouble since I don’t have plans for my future. The person I love the most is gone and there’s no reason to live without her. I’m thankful for the people around me since others have had it worse, but this is not what I want.
I guess I could say […]
Usually I can’t cry. Today I managed to a couple of times. Once was when I tried to write a short message to someone. I couldn’t understand the words well enough to construct a short sentence. I couldn’t write, I couldn’t speak to them. I cried because I’d lost so much. The tears were loud and I was sensitive to noises today, so it sounded like screams ringing in my ears. I lay with my hands clamped against my mouth to stop myself screaming from the pain of the noise and depression. I lay for a long time. After an hour or two I fell […]
…is there anybody out there, hear me sing my song….
I’ve got enough money. But a broken family, a heart that’s been torn to pieces, and a feeling that nobody in this world could ever love me, though I have got lots and lots of love inside of me….I have so much to give…but still feel like I live in Antarctica or worse. Antarctica is beautiful though. Silence, pureness, beauty. I wish I’d be a penguin, with a partner lasting for a lifetime….call me stupid – it’s just the basics of life that I am longing for. Love. Arms around me. Friendship. Family. I don’t want […]
ok, this should defo be my my last week, days just get worse, i will keep posting until then
Gah I’m so tired of them! All day all night my emotions change by the minute… I though I was getting better 🙁 But I seem to have only gotten worse. I just want to be strong for my loved ones (you guys are of course included) you know? I want you all to know that I am here to help, but if someone needs to lean on me for strength and I crumble… I couldn’t forgive myself. How do you deal with the voices in your head?