Last night i cried myself to sleep.I’ve been hurt so much.Being in middle school has not been the funnest of times because “my friends” bullied me so bad to the point i wanted to kill myself.I still remember that day and how i ran to a ditch and sat hoping somebody would kill me.But when that failed i did a pill overdose. That did nothing too. I prayed and prayed and prayed and asked god why he was doing this to me?! no reply. That same day i walked to my mom’s job as i do everyday.I walked onto her school campus,knowing in my heart […]
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Wow
Hello again –this is my second post and will be my last —this is the last month i will be alive—i can barely walk anymore and being stuck in my appt losing my mind seriously and figuratively.–m.s is a horrible disease-it doesnt kill you persay but for some like me you watch you life die infront of you and your body stops working for you and only provides pain. and you cant even hope to keep your  mind because that goes to–so to me it takes the point away from life when i cannot live it or even remember what has happend what i  did other […]
wow, in order to forget the pain in my leg and ankle i have to over does on pills to give me a killer headache but im still miserable and in pain this is so fucked
i will never understand someone who can say someone else is judgmental and that person themselves are. My sister judges me a lot. She calls me a jerk, mean, emotionless everything, and i dont understand why. She doesn’t know what i went through everyday at school. Do i think im a jerk and all that? No! And if i am then i don’t mean to be. Everyone has their off days. it just pisses me the freak off when she says that stuff about me. I feel like she doesnt even know anything about me or my life, or the things i go through, and she has the nerve to sit […]
wow, 10 huge 2 inch deep cuts hurt like fucking hell, the bleeding wont stop hmmm idk how i feel calm and alarmed at the same time??? ugh! why did i give in again to the cutting i was doing so good trying to quit now i gave in and now im in blood and tears but still remaining calm
I am dying inside in a sort or agony/hell/torture that is literally unimaginable! I have the perfect opportunity right now to end it! I won’t have this opportunity again for several days! I could be setting up the equipment right now as we speak and be gone within a hour. BUT NOOOO, I don’t have the fucking balls enough to go thru with it! I’m too afraid of the pain which I know will be over within 5-20 mins. The pain I have been feeling for the last 12 years by far out weighs the pain of hanging myself. I KNOW THIS! BUT I STILL […]
wow, it scares me who i have become in just 15 years. i remember being very young 0-6 didnt give a fuck bout anything mainly cuz i was happy i lived in beautiful California had great parents (who gave me whatever i wanted) then a week before my 7th birthday my sister was born. then my life changed our house was way to small for a family of 4 so a year later we moved we were stuck in ahotel for 2 weeks before we finally got the keys to our new house which to me is way to huge for just 4 people i […]
Haha wow my bestfriend of 3 years let me barrow his facebook so i could check up on someone for him and i read the messages to her and he agreed with her that i was boring and annoying and i couldn’t believe my eyes because i always stuck up for him when the same person said something bad about him. I now know that you can’t trust anyone not even the person you thought you knew…i guess i never really knew him at all….
My girlfriend talks bad about me behind my back and says how im boring,annoying and i don’t show affection and she’s […]
what’s the point of being alive ?
chase after futile things, do whatever it takes to not think much of the triviality of life ?
give society the power and right to tell you how to feel, think, judge .. tell you how to live ?
hide yourself behind appearances to appear better than the next (wo)man ?
help people so you can tell yourself you’re making the world a better place ? (no offense to therapists, healers etc since they’re helpful to some)
I’m gonna give this world the opportunity to surprise me, to have me thinking: “wow it’s truly worth being here” and believe it
if I haven’t changed […]
Wow It was aaawwwesome!Wrestlinq Is one of the thinqs that keeps me qoinq.I’ve been watchinq It since I was nine.When I first laid my eyes on It,I fell In love.This years WrestleMania was qood!The thinq that I didn’t like was that The Rock won.Uqh he makes movies so who cares If he would’ve lost?Cena wrestles every week.That was The Rock’s old like and It Is Cena’s life so why’d they make him lose?And Sheamus,I don’t care that he won I just wished that I would’ve seen a match Instead of Daniel kissinq cute Aj and then turn around and qet kicked In the face.Triple H […]
My TEACHER told everyone in the class when I went to the bathroom that I needed to go on more MEDS! I dont even take meds. She said All this stuff about me. She is a teacher. WOW. She also said I should loss some weigh. Yes I called myself fat in the past, but I am NOT fat! GOD!
Wow I haven’t cried in forever :’) this sucks really. Well heres the deal,I’m losing another one of my best friends yea what is this the 3rd one? I only have 4 friends I could actually count on and who actually understand me. The one friend I thought I would have forever just cause we’ve been together Forever haha 3years I guess was too long *sigh* well there goes my damn twin/big bro he was the only reason I’m still alive,te only reason I woke up in te morning now…I just don’t know what to do. Yea people are probably thinking “so what wow you […]
Death is upon me. Goodbye Cruel World.
7.0 SR earthquake in Japan, at beginning of Year 2012!….whether you believe in the “2012-doomsday/Great Shift/Change” thing or not….wow….
Well, it’s 2:08 at night and I’m still awake. I’ve been in bed for 3 hours. I hate it when I’m so tired but I cannot sleep. I can never turn my mind off. I’ve never been able too. It drives me nuts. With my mind racing from thought to thought to thought………….it’s frustrating. Although, I’ve always been a “night owl”. But, not so much anymore. It’s really not like it was when I was little. When I was little I could sleep for 6 hours and not be tired at all. And, I was a “night owl” because I never really was tired. But now, […]
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