Why I feel this way I don’t know. I’m just upset about nothing. Pathetic, really. Right? I wasn’t bullied. I wasn’t raped. I wasn’t abused. I’m just sad. I really do wish that I had a proper reason; a trigger; a valid purpose for wanting to end my life. They all say life will get better, but I don’t think it will. I used to. I thought this was all just a phase; a couple years of my life spent wallowing in my own pity and sadness. I’m only a teenager, after all. I will be sad sometimes. But this is a new feeling. A feeling […]
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Years Of My Life
Tomorrow morning I’m going to my first counseling appointment with a counselor of my choice who specializes in the areas I need help with most. Scared and anxious are words that don’t even do the situation justice. I’m beyond terrified, but I will be strong and I will not resist help like I’ve always done in the past. I wish I had just one person standing by my side, telling me I’m making the right choice and I will be okay, but I don’t. In the end we have ourselves and that has to be enough.
I have suicidal thoughts pretty much everyday that will […]
I can’t exactly say when it started because I don’t know, my life has just been full of bad events snowballing until I finally released it all.
From a very young age I felt alienated from everyone, I felt that nobody was like me.
It didn’t help that I had a young mother, she had me at 14, Â because I felt that she wasn’t approachable. Also, she was often getting into new relationships which involved a lot of men. I found it very hard ad still find it very hard, to connect with new people so this was an issue for the first 5 years of my […]
Hi, I’m 16 nearly 17. I was told I had depression 3 months ago and sonce then it feels like everything is getting worse. I was very happy throughout 14 years of my life, I had some problems like only connecting with my household family because of issues with my mum and rarely seeing my dad cause he works. Never thought anything bad of it until I was 15. I had a boyfriend that all went well untill after we were going out for 10 months and things went down hill but I always blamed myself for these problems. He lied to me and in […]
Day 1
I was born to this unforgiving world, and thinking now i wished that i never existed
8 years of my life that i suffered with my Family without knowing the reason….
I was born in a family of a Father working on another country that I’ve never seen until recently, a Mother who tends to destroy me physically,mentally and spiritually, beating me and locking me up for a small mistake and makes my body bleed for a case like for a single piece […]
Ever since I was a child I was always so sensitive. when I was four I was run over by a bycycle and spent 4 hours on the operating table with a plastic surgeon them sewing my face up.  When my mother died when I was 8 I did not speak for a year. My father sexually abused me one year after she died after hitting me to make me scared. My father had seven strokes when I was 18. I went to therapy and never really did drugs or do not drink or smoke you could say I have my life together. but […]
Every Summer since I was a teenager has been tough for many different reasons.
From being in hospital, to loosing someone to death, to drinking myself awake every morning.
This Summer is full of promise.
This Summer is probably going to be my most memorable Summer yet and maybe ever.
I have no money but so much hope and love that it could fill an entire city.
I’ve one small worry though. This might be the start of the end of me and my bestfriend.
I’ve known this girl Hayley for 13 years of my life and I’m 17 yet.
She is literally my soul mate.
I […]
eveyone tells me i’m a mistake to this world. maybe they’re right, i am. or im just taking things way to seriously but no one understands that words hurt. especially cause i’m really sensitive. people tell me a lot of things that i really can’t argue with. for example ugly, not good enough for anyone or anything, useless, stupid, etc. my bullies were the ones who made me hate my own refelction. and instead of solving my problems, i hide from my problems. i just hate to be put down everyday. everyday is just another day to wake up wanting to die and cry. sometimes i […]
Another long one.
Seems like a good time to continue on with my confession. I ended the last post after I was caught. I injured myself for four years before my mom saw….. but then again you see what you want to see. My sister an I were always held to a higher standard than most kids. If we got a B on anything we were grounded. A’s were all my mom cared about. Nothing else. She got on to us for every little thing, making it a contest between the two of us. That is the main reason my sister and I started fighting. After […]
Over the years of my life people have trusted me with their secrets. Their own stories. Just holding them can put stress on a person, so I decided to share them with whoever is willing to read. I will not use names nor describe the physival apearance of that person.
First, a friend of mine had told me that her mother had been raped during the summer of 2012. She told me it was by someone very close and she is still going to therapy. Although she is recovering from the whole experience, she is making progress. She was not afraid of speaking up (which is […]
I’m fourteen years old and currently in middle school. I’m being bullied by a boy in my Spanish class. I barely know this kid but he’s always bothering me. He says the meanest things to me and I just want him to leave me alone. I just mind my own business and talk to my friend, and he just makes rude comments or makes fun of things I say to my her and I wasn’t even talking to him. I haven’t done anything against him or given him any reason to hate me, yet he still does. He’s done this the whole year. He’s even […]
I came from a unforunate upbringing. Suffice to say, there was lots of weird stuff that is crimminal and will follow me until the day that I die. I put up a shell that protected me. When I moved out of the house at 18 I lived alone. I worked alone. At this time I was morbidly obese. I overcame that addition. Got in shape. Enlisted in the reserves. Finished my B.Sc. and now find my self in Law School. It took me 12 years of my life to get to be a freshman law school student. 4 years ago I met a girl. Despite […]
I know I already did, but this time, I’ll do it in songs! How fun! Hahaha. Anyways, we’ll start from when my grandpa died, and my dad almost died: Hello by Evanescence. I can’t explain how it relates, but that’s what I always listen to. Next up, when my dog died. My Last Breath by Evanescence. Again, the events of her death really go along with the song. After she died, I found a song that I would sing when I missed her. It’s: Goodbye My Friend by Linda Ronstadt. Then, my grandma went insane and hates me. For this, I kinda think of Imaginary […]
It’s always a little disheartening to watch your favored boxer slip and move only to step into a hard punch that otherwise could have been avoided if he had done…nothing. Â He would have been better off had he not moved at all. Â And so it goes with life. Â What is the right question to ask here, if there is one at all? Â Is it important to take risks and repeatedly fail, with the very real risk of conditioning yourself to accept it? Â Or was this a mistake, misjudgment or worse- sign of weak character?
Over the past four years of my life, I’ve looked back at […]
Hey there. My name is Stephanie.
I’ve lived a life basically filled with nothing but pain all my life, but it all really started when I was 9. I was born in Florida and lived there for six years of my life. My dad works for the government so I’ve moved multiple times in my life, and if you’ve moved a lot like me you know how hard it is. How hard it is to keep starting over from scratch, it’s even worse when you end up right back where you were before. When I was 6, i moved to Maryland outside of Washington DC. I […]
So I am about to turn 30 in about a month. Looking back at the past 17 years of my life (of which, parts of 12 years spent on struggling with depression/suicidal thoughts), it has been a roller-coaster ride. Here are some highlights. I don’t expect you to be interested in my life story, but if you have time, read on!
17 years ago, I migrated to Texas, and started in an ultra conservative high school. Language barrier was one, but being bullied non stop for not speaking English well was another. It was even worse being bullied for trying to learn English. My response was […]
i keep finding reasons to stay later and later at work… in the hopes that while walking back to my car i will be violently assaulted and killed. i even deliberately park in the dark vacant part of the lot. two things though. 0ne, i don’t really work in a very high (violent) crime area. and two, i am a guy, not a whisp of a guy, but not a huge truck of a guy either. it’s sad, but statistically speaking, i would be more likely to be assaulted if i were a woman. not that i approve of it happening to others… it’s just […]
My name is Kyla. I am 15 years old. I think I will start this with a timeline.
June 11, 1997- Born
I was born in Calgary, Alberta. That’s in Canada for those of you who don’t know.
The first two years of my life were spent in my grandfathers house, located in a quiet and respectable community, as my parents were poor and couldn’t support themselves.
I was raised in a neighborhood that was known for its criminals. We lived in a run down townhouse. Â Our neighbors were drug addicts and whores. We even lived next to a crackhouse.
Police sirens were always wailing in the background, and it […]
I used to have thoughts of hiding under a car tire, and waiting for a family member to back up. I just couldn’t go through with it. Through the past 11 years of my life I’ve been completely miserable. There has been a series of unfortunate events that lead me to where I am today: living in a shitty apartment alone, no friends, hardly talk to family, education going down the toilet, and terrible insomnia. I’ve been doing some research on suicide methods, and I want to go via ********. But, it seems like there are many failed attempts. Anyone have any advice?
I will not kill myself. I can’t, I just have too much potential. However, I just have this urge to do it anyways. Half of the time, I want to live just to learn about the universe and the wonders of science. Yes, that is right. I only live in the name of science and the curiosity spectrum of my mind. But then half of the time, I tell myself that there is no incentive of living. Let me lay this down for you: I have amnesia (or maybe even Alzheimer at a relatively early age). My mind […]
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