It saddens me to see these young kids considering suicide as an option. You have a long time left to live and you’ve got rampant hormones. You need to ride it out and see what the future provides.
Sadly I have seen what the future provided and now that I’m 45, I’m not sure I want to continue. I’m going on my second divorce. I haven’t had a sex life in 20 years. I spent 10 of those years looking for the right woman and 10 of them married to the wrong woman. The prime of my life has passed me by and I got robbed.
The promise of youth is gone and I have no prospects for the future. I have a job and a house but my life is empty. All I wanted was a lifetime passionate affair with one woman and I’ve failed. My main goal at this point is to survive long enough to settle my divorce so my heirs get the property I have left. I’ve got a 13 year old dog and when he goes, I’m going to have to seriously think about going with him.
I don’t have anything left in front of me.
5 comments
You have at least another 40 years in front of you — including those best years when you are retired and don’t have to work anymore. You have a job and still possess a house in this crummy economy. Lots of people would die, no pun intended, to be in your position.
Don’t believe what society tells you — you don’t have to marry or have sex to be happy. What do you want to do right now? Have you thought about taking a sudden vacation to a spot in the map that you threw a dart at? Break your habits, before they break you.
If you think you have nothing, then thats a great way to start anew, fill it with something, get a new puppy now, so when your older dog does pass the burden won’t be as great. Volunteer,take a class, do something to try being more social make friends, i believe if you truly try you can accomplish anything.
helper
It does sound like your last 20 years have been quite draining and i can understand why you want to hang it up but doesnt it also kinda seem like your facing a clean slate? The woman that stole those 20 years is gone you never have to think about her again. Financially you sound set so whats stopping you from doing what youve always wanted. Do at least one of the things youve always dreamed and then if you still want to end it, at least you can go out feeling content instead of regret.
I appreciate the kind words. That was my dream. I’ll probably never be man enough to try and kill myself. I chickened out once years ago. I lasted another 20 years and for what? I feel my cards are played out. The despair and constant thought of suicide haunt me.
But the young kids, they have to realize that as long as they are young a lot can happen yet. Killing yourself when you’re 16 or 18 is not a good idea. There’s a lot of pressure in school and at home and a lot of it disappears when you get out on your own. Don’t invite drama and it won’t happen.
I realize I’m not a good example but I do know what I’m talking about. I have a three year old granddaughter and I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to her. People care a lot more about you than you think. So I’ll probably stick around. But it’s tough. I think about it a lot.
Hey man, 45 ain’t bad.