My World is Falling Apart

Every day I must face the life of harshness, so cruelly given to me. Every day. And every day, as of late, does my desire for death increase. Now, I have posted on this site before. A horrible post, much like this one, but still. A post. And now, I lay here, in my bed, thoughts of freedom from this life filling my head. I am 14 years old. I have survived 2 suicide attempts. Am I happy about this? Of course not. Why would I be? It would be so much better if I had died back then, when my 3 closest friends still cared for me. Of course, I have new, perhaps even closer friends. But, I am afraid to talk to them about my problems, for I have always been terrible at confronting people. I truly do wish I could talk to them, for them to help me, but I believe it is too late… Maybe I’ll just leave a note on the night of my 3rd and final attempt… For now, my arm tires. I shall perhaps post tomorrow to actually explain my problems. And, I would like to talk to some of you. You know, people with harsh conditions as well… I would greatly appreciate someone IMing me, or even simply e-mailing me at CrimsonFatalis@hotmail.com